i need some pepto bismal.

i was reading through some old posts today. and now i have the desire to update. UPDATE:
I'm going to camp for a staff reunion/new years party. i'm really nervous, i'm not sure why. these are the same people that i spent two months with this summer. maybe that's why i'm nervous. my camp me is very different from my school me. but i don't want to be fake. but i'm afraid the school me will scare the crap out of these people. all of the memories i have from camp are so-so. i know i had a good time at camp, but i always seem to focus on the negative. i think that makes me nervous too. what if they focus on the negative? then everyone will see that i'm a fraud. that i have no idea what i'm doing. and they'll hate me. i think that pretty much sums up my fears. i have a returning staff application, but i don't know what to do with it. if i should fill it out or not. it makes me feel nauseous just thinking about it.ugh. they're hiring a program director. i want to be a program director. it seems like a good idea. but it also makes me uneasy. i've thought about trying for a job at a boys and girls club. i guess i'll just wait and see how things go tonight. ugh. i need to clean and pack so i can get there by 8. ugh....

i read a blog today. it made me cry. it wasn't exceptionally touching, or emotional. but i related, and i cried.

i watched a documentary entitled paper clips yesterday. it made me cry. it wasn't genuinely touching. and i could feel the emotion that they were trying to invoke, and yet i cried.

i was a barnes and nobles yesterday. i didn't not cry. i was christmas shopping, but i wanted to buy books for me. lots of books. hundreds of books. thousands of books. i saw one entitled The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism. i read the first page and wanted to keep reading it. it took all of my self-control to put it down.

apparently tomorrow is christmas. which means today is the day before chrismas. chirstmas eve day, and later it will be christmas eve. i'm here in huntington still. trying to find the motivation to pack the car and drive home. soon.

rambling on and on

the sci-fi channel has had a mini x-files marathon today. that means four glorious hours of mulder and scully. most of which seem to be based on religious encounters or dare i say myths. which of course means role reversal for mulder and scully, and that of course is my favorite kind of episode. perhaps this means it will be a good day at work. or maybe i'm getting the good part of the day done before i head in. that would be terrible.

i have crafts today. i think we're supposed to paint ornaments or something. but i think instead i'm going to do god's eyes. popsicle sticks and yarn in the craft cabinets means a free craft. i had a new schedule for work in my box yesterday. there was no explanation whatsoever. i'm biting my lip over it. i've encountered worked with staff who have had a difficult time adjusting to change. and i've seen people get too personally involved in their jobs. so much so that they forget who they are serving. and i've been the recipient of out-lashes regarding both of those things. and i don't want to be like that. the best interest is in mind. i need to remain calm. this will be good. i need to be patient and accepting. and slowly discuss things with my boss. i just need to sort things out. to get some answers. that's all. things will be ok. i will not become what i have not been able to handle. i will NOT initiate the situations that i have hated.

christmas is in four days. i have not done any christmas shopping. i have not thought about it at all. i don't know what to get. or even when i will have time to do so.

new years is in a week and a half. i'm still not sure what i'm doing. to pvm or not to pvm, that is the question. thoughts are floating around in my brain and i don't know how to make sense of them. i can't tell what is truth and what i've made up. i'm not sure. too many questions, and not enough answers. have i changed? or am i finally expressing myself? or am i in denial?

i love the x-files. such deep topics camouflaged in aliens and elvis impersonations. actually i'm not sure that there was an episode with elvis or not. but it sounds like something they would do. and so they should have.

how many choices could we have made, and how many lives could we have lead. so many possibilities, but only room for one ending. how do you know if you are making the right choice. not the one that everyone else is making, but the right one?

i'm questioning, everything. and i have no answers for anything.

my favorite x-files christmas episode is on later today, and i'm going to miss it. sad.

i have a bebe in my lap. she's trying to type with me, and foot is vibrating because she keeps purring.

i have not updated in a long time. i do not regret it. i've had nothing to say. that's a lie. as usual i have a lot to say, just nothing of importance.

the semester has ended. work was cancelled yesterday. minus my last 8 o'clock exam of the semester, i had the whole day off. the roommates are gone now. so i'm going to do nothing today, except clean my room and do some laundry and go to work.

yesterday i decided i wanted to have 10 hooded sweatshirts, enough for two full weeks of classes without running out. then last night we the club gave us a new hooded staff sweatshirt, now i'm only three away from my goal. so if anyone is reading this, and wondering what to get me. it should be a hooded sweat shirt, preferably one with writing on it. something amazing. more than ten would be amazing as well, so don't worry about getting the same thing as someone else.

last night at our work white elephant gift exchange, i got a shark's tale. i haven't seen it yet, so i think i'm going to put it in. either that or some dave matthews, i've been craving him for a few weeks now. i think dave will be more productive than a movie i haven't seen before.

ok, the end

shoot me

i feel awful.
i'm stressed and emotionally drained.
work has been a nightmare.
it seems to rip my heart out.
i hate that i love those kids so much.
i don't think i could love them anymore.
so much potential, and they don't even know it.
they don't even care.
it kills me.
my eyes hurt from crying so much tonight

i have to type a 5 page paper tonight.
do my accounting homework.
and type another paper that's way late.

i feel like someone is stirring my insides with a metal coat hanger.
i think i might throw up.
this is not conducive to writting papers.
ugh i don't know what's wrong.

i think this might be the longest night of my life.

Pictures from work...The Boys and Girls Club

Pictures from The Sunken Garden, The baseball fied, and my weekend at Sauder's Village

Vegas

i haven't been blogging much lately. but i have but doing things, here's a brief picture diary of my recent escapades.

tonight was the fall fest/halloween party at work. it was slightly less crazy then i had expected. that was a delightful surprise. i was in charge of carving pumpkins. that means that i stood out side from roughly 6-7:30, in the freezing cold air tell kids: "_____(name)____, go back inside......i know....i call you when it's your turn.....I KNOW!....I'LL CALL YOU WHEN IT'S YOUR TURN!....___(name)____, GO BACK INSIDE!" i also mingled with parents for nearly that entire time. it put me on pins and needles. i think i quenched a few potential fires, and talked to one about swearing in front of the kids. ah.

i'm an idiot and forgot to sign up for a seminar i'm supposed to go to tomorrow. i need to go for class. it's on campus some where, but i don't know where, or when.

in other news i have a new hoodie...

kimmee and i were briefly talking about pictures and memories the other day. i find it absolutely amazing that pictures can bring on such strong feelings. both good and bad. and sometimes those feelings get stronger. admiration can grow to affection, and mild disdain can grow to hatred. why are we wired this way? it seems to make things so much more confusing. and why to the bad things seem to cloud the good? i have a picture on my desk. it's an amazing picture. every time i look at it, i smile. it's just so happy. but every time i look at it, i see something in the back ground that makes me cringe. something that i hate. it makes me want to rip it off the cork board and burn it. and at the same time it makes me want to run, to avert my eyes. i feel like a scared kid, just like i did whent he picture was taken. i think i need to grow some balls, or maybe crop the picture. but then it would loose it's integrity. i suppose it's really a snap shot from that time in my life. the good and the bad. recorded on one piece of photographic paper. developed, printed, and hung. forever capturing those feelings of love, happiness, responsibility, annoyance, anger, shame; all in one image. the perfect ambassador for that memory. and i'll keep it, and every time i see it i'll smile, and cringe, and run, and hold the fire deep inside.

i don't know what the hell that was.

we named our cat. technically it's bebe. but lately she's been going by Fucking Cat.

my favorite quote from the night...a child is kicking a pumpkin. the mother says "Stop kicking that pumpkin!", while she kicks him in the but....the mother kicked her pumpkin to encourage him to stop kicking a pumpkin. that's also dumb because she told him not to kick, then she kicked, then he turned around and started to kick me, until i gave him a "TRY IT" look. he stopped.

p.s. although the irony in that made me laugh, it sort of makes me sad too...i guess it's another one of those perfect snap shots.

tonight was the fall fest/halloween party tonight at work. it was slightly less crazy then i had expected. that was a delightful surprise. i was in charge of carving pumpkins. that means that i stood out side from roughly 6-7:30, in the freezing cold air tell kids: "_____(name)____, go back inside......i know....i call you when it's your turn.....I KNOW!....I'LL CALL YOU WHEN IT'S YOUR TURN!....___(name)____, GO BACK INSIDE!" i also mingled with parents for nearly that entire time. it put me on pins and needles. i think i quenched a few potential fires, and talked to one about swearing in front of the kids. ah.

i'm an idiot and forgot to sign up for a seminar i'm supposed to go to tomorrow. i need to go for class. it's on campus some where, but i don't know where, or when.

in other news i have a new hoodie...

kimmee and i were briefly talking about pictures and memories the other day. i find it absolutely amazing that pictures can bring on such strong feelings. both good and bad. and sometimes those feelings get stronger. admiration can grow to affection, and mild disdain can grow to hatred. why are we wired this way? it seems to make things so much more confusing. and why to the bad things seem to cloud the good? i have a picture on my desk. it's an amazing picture. every time i look at it, i smile. it's just so happy. but every time i look at it, i see something in the back ground that makes me cringe. something that i hate. it makes me want to rip it off the cork board and burn it. and at the same time it makes me want to run, to avert my eyes. i feel like a scared kid, just like i did whent he picture was taken. i think i need to grow some balls, or maybe crop the picture. but then it would loose it's integrity. i suppose it's really a snap shot from that time in my life. the good and the bad. recorded on one piece of photographic paper. developed, printed, and hung. forever capturing those feelings of love, happiness, responsibility, annoyance, anger, shame; all in one image. the perfect ambassador for that memory. and i'll keep it, and every time i see it i'll smile, and cringe, and run, and hold the fire deep inside.

i don't know what the hell that was.

we named our cat. technically it's bebe. but lately she's been going by Fucking Cat.

my favorite quote from the night...a child is kicking a pumpkin. the mother says "Stop kicking that pumpkin!", while she kicks him in the butt....the mother kicked her pumpkin to encourage him to stop kicking a pumpkin. that's also dumb because she told him not to kick, then she kicked, then he turned around and started to kick me, until i gave him a "TRY IT" look. he stopped.

p.s. although the irony in that made me laugh, it sort of makes me sad too...i guess it's another one of those perfect snap shots.

i think i have a.d.d....

tonight was the fall fest/halloween party tonight at work. it was slightly less crazy then i had expected. that was a delightful surprise. i was in charge of carving pumpkins. that means that i stood out side from roughly 6-7:30, in the freezing cold air tell kids: "_____(name)____, go back inside......i know....i call you when it's your turn.....I KNOW!....I'LL CALL YOU WHEN IT'S YOUR TURN!....___(name)____, GO BACK INSIDE!" i also mingled with parents for nearly that entire time. it put me on pins and needles. i think i quenched a few potential fires, and talked to one about swearing in front of the kids. ah.

i'm an idiot and forgot to sign up for a seminar i'm supposed to go to tomorrow. i need to go for class. it's on campus some where, but i don't know where, or when.

in other news i have a new hoodie...

kimmee and i were briefly talking about pictures and memories the other day. i find it absolutely amazing that pictures can bring on such strong feelings. both good and bad. and sometimes those feelings get stronger. admiration can grow to affection, and mild disdain can grow to hatred. why are we wired this way? it seems to make things so much more confusing. and why to the bad things seem to cloud the good? i have a picture on my desk. it's an amazing picture. every time i look at it, i smile. it's just so happy. but every time i look at it, i see something in the back ground that makes me cringe. something that i hate. it makes me want to rip it off the cork board and burn it. and at the same time it makes me want to run, to avert my eyes. i feel like a scared kid, just like i did whent he picture was taken. i think i need to grow some balls, or maybe crop the picture. but then it would loose it's integrity. i suppose it's really a snap shot from that time in my life. the good and the bad. recorded on one piece of photographic paper. developed, printed, and hung. forever capturing those feelings of love, happiness, responsibility, annoyance, anger, shame; all in one image. the perfect ambassador for that memory. and i'll keep it, and every time i see it i'll smile, and cringe, and run, and hold the fire deep inside.

i don't know what the hell that was.

we named our cat. technically it's bebe. but lately she's been going by Fucking Cat.

my favorite quote from the night...a child is kicking a pumpkin. the mother says "Stop kicking that pumpkin!", while she kicks him in the but....the mother kicked her pumpkin to encourage him to stop kicking a pumpkin. that's also dumb because she told him not to kick, then she kicked, then he turned around and started to kick me, until i gave him a "TRY IT" look. he stopped.

p.s. although the irony in that made me laugh, it sort of makes me sad too...i guess it's another one of those perfect snap shots.

hmmmm

and the possiblities are endless...

a day in review.

fall break was amazing.
i have stories.
one real,
one i'm going to make up.
em's coming to today!
YaY!
Excited about that.
i don't have time for this right now.
too much to do.
one last thing:
WELCOME ISABEL MARIA CASTRO!

the end.

cyn city

i'm sitting in the "dining room" of my brother and his girlfriend's apartment. lisa and carrie are both crashed on the couch. its five o'clock (approximately 7 indiana and 8 ohio time). and here i am, in vegas.

ridiculously long trip. our flight from denver to vegas was cancelled. we were wait-listed, and rolled onto another flight. that flight was over-booked, so we were rolled again. and this time we made it. the plane was full, we didn't sit together, but ended up in vegas. with 100 dollars in gift certificates, a new duffel bag, and a ripped one. all curtsey of united airlines.

so here i sit. drowsy. full. excited. and needing to write a paper that was due today.

today i realized that it is possible to sit in a room with thousands of people passing by, and ignore every single one of them. i realized that i can sit on a plane, between two strangers for an hour and a half, and feel no remorse about not talking to them. i realized that i'm longing to read, and bitterly disappointed with my literary selection for the weekend. yet, i'm delighted to discover that the dollar tree offers a fascinating selection of books,if one is willing to dig a little.

i want to go swimming but, lisa and mary are sleeping. too bad. i really like this little apartment. it has a lot of charm. i hope that in a year i'm living in a place like this, with a job, and...who knows what else.

p.s. carla...i would love to go to chicago with you, and i would love it if you brought your baby. however, lets admit it, i'm pragmatic. and the truth is that will most likely never happen. not because we don't want it too, but because logistically it wouldn't work. because, well you're at a different stage in your life. frankly, you have a life. which is a drastic difference. however, the lack of mine allows me to do things like spontaneous trips to chicago. but perhaps some time i will kidnap you and take you to angola. you know i've heard it's the chicago of indiana. no it's not, i made that up. but if we believe it, anything is possible. no, that's a lie too. want to here a truth?...

osmoetic, like poetic osmosis.

off to chicago for the night. then vegas for the weekend. then chicago for a few hours...maybe the night. then back to school for classes bright and early on wednesday. i wish we could stay in chicago a little longer. i love that place. but vegas will be equally amazing. maybe more so. i'm excited to see cory. i have seen him since easter. far too long. and a weekend away will be...well quite frankly freaking amazing. money...that could be interesting. things are going to have to stretch and i'm going to have to budget. but at least we don't have to get a hotel, or maybe a car. so that'll be nice. and maybe a free desert or meal or something from okada. that would be sweet. i'll have to see what cory can do. speaking of which, i need to get hold of him. it would be nice to know how in the heck we're getting picked up from the airport. yeah...that'd be nice. i suck at the details. i'm too fly by the seat of my pants. or an air bus, but whatever. i just realized that it sounds like i'm being hard on myself. i'm not though. i was trying to be funny. because we're taking an air bus. this post sucks. carla i hope you're happy that i updated. i don't fell like doing it much. i don't have much to say. i'm busy and boring. i want to go to chicago. any takers? not this weekend, for obvious reasons. but maybe another. not next, because em's coming up. that'll be fun. i need to call her. perhaps the weekend after or before thanksgiving. i want to go there now. someone come with me. ok this is a pathetic post. i'm thinking about not posting it. blah. i need more creativity. i need to be around crazy creative people. people who have creativity seeping from their pores. then maybe i can become creative through osmosis. it's true. i've seen it happen before. i'm done.

you said what?!

kross2444: You know it is hard to get here when you stay on the computer
jmebarrett: didn't i tell you? i've been cloned
kross2444: ohhhh ok
jmebarrett: and i think i should tell you...the other me...the new me....is evil, and she's planning on standing you up
kross2444: damn her
jmebarrett: i know what a bitch
kross2444: whore i would say

Lars

davis hall last night. there was a richard simmons workout video act. richard simmons wore short white shorts, a black wife beater, and a dark fro wig. i almost wet myself. i think carla and aaron thought i was slightly insane. (i really want a picture. i need a picture. i must have one.) it made me wish someone from camp was there with me. it was really quite amazing. it even topped the old canadian lars. now i'm reminiscing. i wish the staff reunion hadn't been cancelled. alright. back to reality.

i feel like a pianist in a grand hall.
placing my fingers on the keys,
they fly and press and know what they are doing
they're confident, and persistent, and nearly prideful.
i flex and move and perform
giving the concert of my life.
yet i'm intimidated and unsure.
not knowing what will happen.
what the review will be
if it will be pleasing.
but i don't care.
i'm an artist, a musician, me.
so i do it for me.
not for reviews.
not for others.
for me.

whoa man, WHOA-MAN

september is a busy month for birthdays. i had one this week, so did thousands of other people. its strange to realize i'm not alone. this week was busy. i don't want to detail it, it was boring and normal. i have two exams tomorrow. its one in the morning. i haven't studied. that will be interesting.
tomorrow is the party at work. mixed feelings.
three kids asked me my age today. and when i told them, they all asked me if i was married. they were all surprised and slightly horrified when i said no. that made me feel old and alone. i thought only delilah from delilah on the radio could do that. but i guess not. someone once said 'i only listen to delilah when i'm in my car and i want to feel even more lonely than i already do', then he ran around screaming, 'AHHH DELILAH!' that's how i feel. except i sort of want to listen to her. but i mostly don't. and that's good.
i swore a lot today. i thought about counting how many times, but i lost count by 9:00 this morning. i just remembered that i like swearsies. it's getting out of hand again. but then i remembered i like swearsies.
i feel like a plagiarist for saying swearsies. i should stop doing that.
most of the time its more creative to quote someone than to be creative. and you can quote that.
p.s. please disregard that last thought...i don't really know what it means.

LAS

another weekend. nothing exciting. not too exciting. except....
i booked tickets to vegas. i'm excited. i get to see cory. and hang out with lisa and mary. i'm going to get drunk and loose my tuition money. so drunk that it could in fact be considered plastered. plastered to the extent that i forget where i parked the car. and so i end up walking around vegas plastered and broke and lost. and then i'll die a horrific death. either at the hands of some crazy homeless person sleeping on the sidewalk, angry that i just laid down to sleep where he pees. or by falling into an open man hole where i'm trapped and live in squalor for four days until i die and back up the entire Las Vegas Sewage system. either way it will make the papers, and the writers of CSI will think it's the most amazing thing that they have ever heard, and they will write a screen play about it. Either CSI or Law and Order. Probably Law and Order. Everyone knows they get their ideas from the news papers anyway. or maybe not. maybe i'll remember that i'm a student of Huntington University. and i signed some stupid paper like four years ago saying that i wouldn't do anything like that. yeah, that's probably what will happen.


P.S. Last night i had a dream. i remember my dream. this was my dream. i dreamt that i had a zit. a giant zit. and i popped my giant zit. and instead of the normal pussy discharge. it was a strawberry. a very large strawberry. and it hurt. the end.

are ya happy now?

i have a baby shower to go to this weekend. its strange. its strange because it is for carla sue. and that's strange because we went to college together, and that's strange to say because it is past tense. i never thought i'd reach the point where i refer to my college career in past tense. but here it is. the other day in biz com i was talking to chris about the clocks in the perc. i said "every year the schools says that they have synchronized the clocks, and every year they forget the perc." And chris says "are you a senior? yah? i thought so, you said every year. and i didn't think you'd use that phrase if it had only been the past two years". now people can tell that i'm old because of the tenses i use. ugh. and now she's married and about to have a baby. and i think that makes me almost old. emily...you're not allowed to have a baby yet...that would make us truly old. and that's not right! understood? good.

work has been crazy lately. (another thing an old person says) so many crazy things happening. it truly breaks my heart. week 9's clubhouse kids at camp, had me missing every single one of the kids at the club. that week was so crazy. those kids live lives that i would have a hard time stomaching. then i come back to the club this year, and learn more about these kids then i've ever known. and it breaks my heart. no one should have to deal with the things that some of these 6 year olds do. its not fair. i don't even know what to think about some of the things. i just know that they need to be loved. and affirmed. and guided, and whether they think so or not, disciplined. week 9 prepared me for this, and i thank God for that.

week 1 prepared me for jeff and deshi leaving. at the end of september, beginning of october. but i know what to expect. i've worked it before. more responsibility, more hours, more stress. but its how it has to be, and so i wouldn't want it any other way. i've done it before, and i can do it again.

its amazing how God can use an experience like camp in so many different ways. as an internship, as a ministry, as a character builder, and as prep work for what's to come. i love it.

carla i hope that you are appreciating this. this is longer than anything i've typed in a while. although i am still a fan of the two line entry.

i guess i'm sort of using this post as a catch up post. i hate posts like that. but at least its not bulleted.

89X and John Mayer

it was just that sort of morning. 89X and John Mayer during the talking. i always forget how much i love that station until i come home. fort wayne radio stations suck. i have been slightly spoiled by a few good stations in the toledo area. i wish they would broadcast over the internet. i'd pay for that.

STOP DOING THAT STUPID BLOG!

my blog is making me angry. i need to figure out how to fix it. i don't know how and i don't like it.

A heartbreaking work of staggering genius (yes i did pinch that title from dave eggers)

i just spent an hour and a half debriefing my internship at camp. a bit of a trip down memory lane. i have to go to camp admin in a little while, today is making me miss camp. because i was in such a reminiscent mood, i decided to IM two people from camp. they both signed off just as i was about to send the message. it was really a very sad thing. now i'm stuck with my memories and no one to share them with.

i'm starting to get a strange yearning in chest. a yearning to read. to read the books that are on my desk. they stare at me day after day, and i need to read them. i must read them. i fear that if i don't my heart will burst out of my ribs and leap onto my bookshelf. fear not dear heart, one day your passion will be met. one day i will have time to read. and you will grow, and learn, and you will be satisfied; even if only for a moment.

i said sludge today and jamie told me i use unusual words. hmm.

this is my life, school and work. throw in free cable and homework, and you've got the whole shebang. that's all

back in the saddle

i finished two books this weekend, The Catcher in the Rye and Franny and Zooey. It just felt like a salinger sort of weekend. classes start today. in 40 minutes actually. i don't know that i'm fully prepared for them to start. but at the same time i'm more than ready to get this last year over with. have i said that my internet is working? well, my internet is working. that makes me extremely happy. now i can spend hours and hours of my time looking up asinine things and talking with people. or maybe not. i have a book on my desk. it's begging me to read it. i don't know if i will. but i really want to. i love reading. i think the humanities will kill me.

unhappy hump day

my mom and i had an argument today. she said that it was wednesday, but i was convinced it was thursday. we argued about it for nearly three minutes until she brought me a calendar and i realized that i was wrong. its wednesday. i hate that it is only wednesday. i woke up thinking that i left for school tomorrow. but no. not until friday. blah. i can't wait to get back to school. i'm ready to have my wireless back. i can't wait to have the internet in the same room that i sleep. i can't wait to have my aim. with all of my amazing away messages. i can't wait to write more away messages. i can't wait to start planning for my job this year. i have my schedule for the first week. lots of hours, and i'm looking forward to every minute of it! only two more days and i get to move in. to have roommates again. to be in a place that is sort of my own. to be on the road to a life that is my own.

i'be been home for a few days now, and it has led to some hardcore thinking and a few realizations.

1. I'm finally getting my hair cut and colored tomorrow. and there was much rejoycing...yay.

2. I leave for school in exactly 10 days. I am nowhere near ready.
a. I need to clean my corner of the basement
b. I need to clean the spare room.
c. I need to clean my car.
d. I need to call my roommates and find out what i need to take.

3. I haven't done anything since i've been home. I have watched almost 10 movies in the last three days...but i don't think that is anything to write home about. Especially since i'm at home and i don't even find it to be very exciting...so why would i take the time to write a letter to myself?

4. This is a retarded post. I don't like the fact that i'm typing it. And to show my disdane for this post, i'm going to publish it without spell checking it. i think if i spell check it it will give me enough time to decide that i don't really want to publish it and i'll delete it.

5. AH! THE END!

ramblings and mutterings

finally...after 12 weeks of being on the move...i am sitting. and i'm making the most of it. yesterday i seriously spent the entire day on the couch watching movies. i left the house once...to go to the library to get more movies. i haven't felt this lazy in a long time. and it's fantastic! although i have to admit, i do feel a little guilty.

so canada was great. relaxing. i went swimming in the georgian bay. it was freezing cold, but absolutely beautiful! we swam to a cave. no one else was there and it felt like we were the only ones who had ever found it (if you ignored the poop that was on a ledge that had a strong resemblance to human....blah...)...it was fantastic. White stone beaches. crisp, clear blue water. cliff jumpers, and snorkelers. it was beautiful.

school starts in almost ten days. that seems so strange to me. it doesn't feel like it should be starting soon. i have so much to do to prepare for it. i'm not ready. but i so want it to start. i'm more than ready to go back.

i found a jump drive on like mega sale at office max. i think i'm going to find out when the close and see if i have time to go yet tonight. it would be nice. i could get some stuff done for school from home. hmm....i wonder what their number is....

its all over now

It is Friday, August 5, 2005. And that means it is finally the last day of camp. I don't really know what that means. This summer has been completely bi-polar. Crazy highs where you think you just might die from lack of oxygen, to crazy lows where it feels like you are going to be crushed to death from the weight of the world. It's so strange how living in one place, with the same 40 people for 9 weeks, can make it seem as though the things that happen here is the only reality. Like there is nothing else beyond the borders. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one who is trapped in a dark cave. With shadows being my only reality. And maybe I'm too afraid to step outside and see what else there is. Or maybe I don't believe that there is anything outside the cave. But that can't be true. Actually I know that it is NOT true. There is so much more out side of this place. SO much more that the world has to offer. This is sort of depressing and I don't think that I really want to type about it anymore. BUT! I can tell you that I want to keep typing. Because I'm in an empty room. And the only thing that I hear is an air conditioner and the sound of my fingers on the key board. And at this moment in time. That is really all that I want to hear. The repetitive click, click, click, of my fingers flying across the keys and definitively pressing a button. Watching the letter appear on the screen. Seeing the words form. Flowing into sentences. Complete thoughts and ideas streaming across the screen. Concreting what I am feeling and the things that are going through my brain. And even though the things that I am currently typing have nothing to do with anything...I want to keep typing. Because as long as I am typing, I'm doing something moderately productive. Something with my hands. Something with my mind. Something with my eyes. Something with my ears. And I guess it reminds me of school. It'll be starting soon and I need to unstick my typing fingers. And regrease my brain. I feel like I haven't used it much this summer. I've felt that way every summer since I first started school. Something happens to me in the summer time and I don't use my brain. And I don't think things through. Which is quite frankly evident by some of the events this summer, especially this week. And at the same time, I'm always using my brain. And always problem solving. With is quite frankly evident by some of the events from this past week.

never before have I experienced a week like this. So many stresses. So many blessings. So many kids who just need. They need to be loved. The need to know that they are loved. They need to be trusted. They need rules. They just need so much. So much more than I can give them. Way more than I can give them. And they remind me of my kids. They are so alike. Kids from the inner city. They suffer with the same situations. With parents who aren't around. Parents who work all of the time. With drugs, alcohol, abuse, evictions, deaths, fights, loneliness. And they need so much. So much more than we can give them. Sometimes I just with there was a fix button that I could push. Just one button that would make things better. One button that would give them everything they need. One button that would take away their suffering, and their hurt, and their loneliness. Something that would give them love, and assurance, and understanding. I hope that camp was that button for some of them. I KNOW that some of them experienced things here this week that they have never had the opportunity to experience before. And for some of them, they will never get to experience again. It makes me want to get back to school. To see all of the kids at the club. To give them a GIANT side hug. And ask them how there summer is going. To play Honey If You Love Me with Jordan, to hug Autumn, to play pool with Gary, to help Jeffrey with his homework. To give them a place where they are safe. And where they are loved. And where they can come to find safety and security.

my favorite memory from this summer happened this week. Jake and Joe. They just needed to be loved. And they were loved more by their counselors than any camper ever before. And even though they had to leave early, there was still a change. A change for the better. A catalyst. Something leading to things so much better. So much bigger. Perhaps a seed was planted. I only pray that the seed can be nurtured. That they will continue to grow. That there will be someone there to love them.

Ahhh...What a bi-polar summer. So many ups and downs. But all leading to one amazing conclusion. Too bad I don't quite know what that is yet.

i'm ready for school to start. i'm ready to be close to my friends. to study. to graduate. the boys are loud. they are laughing a lot. and now they are clapping. i sort of want to go see what it is about. but not enough to get up. it's late and i'm tired, but i don't think that i could sleep. too much to think about. this week has been crazy...not bad, just crazy.

eric and matt are coming tomorrow. i don't really know how to entertain them yet. but i'm sure that we can work something out.

now the boys are yelling...at the computer, not at each other. but if they were yelling at each other, i think that i would go watch. that would be something to see. perhaps something that i have seen before, but something none the less.

i read the news today. i haven't done that in a while. it was depressing. apparently the world keeps spinning when i'm not involved. i wish someone had told me this sooner, it might have alleviated a lot of stress.

in other news: MY FEET STINK. not a new occurrence, but strange because i have been wearing sandals all summer.

he was my pal,
he was my friend,
but now he's gone,
and that's the end!

the moral of,
this little tale,
if you see a worm,
just don't in hale!

yeah that's what you thought i would do, but i didn't and now you don't know what to think!

my hands are green and i feel like the jolly green giant.
there is a dead bug on my shirt, i'm not sure how i should feel about that.
its been such a long day, and i'm exhausted. but i don't want to go to bed.
i get to sleep in tomorrow...i'm really looking forward to that.
things are better. that's pretty amazing because i didn't realize that things were bad.
but they were. and now its better. and i know how to act. and i know how to be.
and i can be me. and talk. and not feel uncomfortable. and that's good.
it rained all day. i can't imagine what it would be like to live in a place where it rained all week.
not like normal rain, but like the down pour kind. that would be weird.
i feel pointless right now. like i'm wasting time.
and i am.
but i guess that's what i do best.
perhaps.
on to something bigger and better. i wish i knew what that was. perhaps in a year.
i've been asked that question like ten times this week. that what are you doing next year question.
i wish i knew.
it would make life so much easier. but i guess that's not really how things work.
and i guess i should just be happy that i have an idea of what i would prefer doing.
and now worry so much about the fact that i don't actually know what i'm going to do.
i've come to the realization that i can not delegate. i don't really know what that has to do with the aforementioned thought.
but there it is. out there for all of the world to see.
i can't delegate. maybe people have known this about me for sometime now. i wish i had.
i don't really like it. i think i need to work on that. hmm, that was a slight case of deja vous. odd. this is a retarded post.
i don't like it. i'm thinking about deleting it. but if i deleted it then i would want to type another one.
but it is already late. and i don't want to spend anymore time doing that if i don't have to.
i guess i could just put a warning at the top of this post. something to the effect of.
::::WARNING::::--dinosaurs will eat your face if you read this.
or
::::WARNING::::--i'm an idiot and blabber on about a bunch of crap that really serves no purpose. if i were you i would just avoid this all together.
and who knows. maybe i will title it that. but i probably won't. i'll probably name this like the pot bellied propose on wheels or something like that. cause i never title things like i should. i wish my creativity was back. too bad i guess. i guess that just means that you get all this crap instead of all the things i could be typing that would mean so much more to you. oh well.

and this is how it should be.

week 5. very nearly over.
week 6. about to begin.
weird. it seems so strange to think that this summer has reached its peak and now things are on the down swing. i don't know what to think yet. i think i need to sit and write it all down. to think, and stew, and evaluate what has happened thus far. i don't think that i can right now. not because there's no time, but because i have no mental capabilities. i have the sudden urge to write a poem. but i don't think that i will. i have tried to about 27 times in the past few weeks. but nothing has come out. my creativity is gone. my objectiveness is gone. it's all the same. never changing. i need to get some perspective. maybe i should buy a news paper...catch up with the rest of the world. I'm in yet another bubble. the kind where you are disconnected and discombobulated. the kind where everyone is always the same. where the drama never varies. where the questions and the feelings and the sarcasm and the cynicism are continuous. that's a bubble right? but if you think about it everyone lives in a bubble. nothing beyond this planet. always with the same wars, and the same fights, and the same tears, and the same blessings. so maybe being in a bubble is ok. or maybe it isn't. i have know idea what i'm typing. blabbering. blah. maybe that's always what it is though. hmm. parents are coming and i want to take a shower. i think i'm going to go do that now. i have time. why waste it here? on line? thinking? blah.

pepto bismal flavored yogurt?

so this is the second time today that i have decided to type a new entry. i'm not too sure how well it will work. i'm assuming one of three things will happen. 1. i will decided i don't really want to type this entry after all and dump it. 2. someone will come in and ask me to do something. or 3. a giant raccoon will break into the staff lounge and, just as i am about to push publish, it will bite off all of my fingers. so while in a tremendous amount of pain i will press on, and attempt to publish this using my nose. however, the raccoon will know that this is my plan and he will bite off my nose. unfortunately this raccoon does not know the depth of my persistence or my the donkey's that have infiltrated my lineage. and so he will think that i will have given up because i will be missing all of my fingers and the tip of my nose...but he is SADLY mistaken. for you see i will have picked up a pencil in my mouth. And not just any old pencil but a RUMPKE pencil with bite marks in it all ready. I will push my nervousness about holding an already chewed pencil aside and i will publish this post. and you will read it and you will be in awe at the marvel that is me. and you will not know what to think, or what to do. and so you will sit and you will wail. you will tear your clothes, and rub ash on your forehead. you will ask God why this great temptation has befallen you. why such an amazing person is tempting you with idol worship. but i will come and i will tell you that i am not nearly as perfect as you think. i am flawed. very much so in fact. i know that it maybe difficult to detect at times, but it is in fact true. and you will feel comfort and you will no longer be tempted by my greatness because it is of this world, and this world is not my home.

second week of camp. and i think it is going pretty well. program stuff seems to be running a lot smoother than last week, so i guess that is an improvement. but it's hard to judge, because all that i have to compare it to is last week. and that was such a terrible week that this week couldn't possibly be any worse.

i'm tired and the last person in the lounge. i think that perhaps i should finish up the last few details of the day and make my way to the TP. actually that sounds like the most amazing thing that i have ever said. maybe my brain hasn't completely shut off for the summer after all. too bad it feels that way. i hate this post. i really want to delete it. but i won't. GARR! it is seriously driving me nuts. oh well i'm over it. ok maybe not but i will be. ok maybe not but who cares?

i need to hear some music.

such a long day. i spent five hours in my car today, driving to and from the wayne. but definitely worth it. i realized a few things today.
1. I don't understand how anyone can be brave enough to start a marriage without having christ as their cornerstone.
2. David Rice has an amazing voice.
3. I need to talk to my friends more often.
4. Indiana has some pretty terrible radio stations.
5. In terms of media (i.e. movies and music and books) i'm not sure i like what i like because i like it, or if i like what i like because people that i like like it.
6. My dad is great.
7. I miss Em
8. I'm probably not going to get to talk to Cory all summer. sad.

that's a lot to think about. or maybe nothing to think about at all. i don't really know. sometimes i think too much. and sometimes not enough. i don't even want to think about which one it is. on to other things.

drained.

i'm tired. i feel useless. underappreciated. and it's only day two. i guess that to some extent i had sort of expected this. but not really. i didn't think that it would actually be like this. hmmm. press on. keep going. its only day two of week one. its still just new. its not everyone. is it? i don't think so. tomorrow will come. and today will end. and it will be better. it has to be right? i don't feel like myself. i think i started to be me. but now i'm too afraid. too unsure. what if i'm wrong? am i a fraud? i hate this. i'm exhausted. its time for dinner. then on to another thing. and another. and another. then tomorrow. and the morning. and more feeling like crap for about four hours. i need strength Lord.

it has begun...

uh sort of. yeah sort of.
i'm here, not there.
but here.
i have nothing to say.
perhaps for the first time in my life.
sad.
don't worry.
someday i will.
someday i will rule the world.
and that will be pretty sweet.
ok maybe not.
but it could be.
just wait!

rodeo spaghetti and german potato salad

i drove down roads i new a century ago.
long and straight.
short and curvey.
i know them. i feel their curves, their bumps, their flaws.
i see me riding a raft under the road.
i see jeremy with no eye brows.
i see cory spear fishing in the field.
i hear the scream of the peacock.
the smell of the grass. of the trees. of the wheat.
so familiar. so new. so alive.
yet so different. so dead. just a memory.

and today i'll drive down roads i've never seen.
past fields i've never known.
to a place that is unfamiliar.
with people i do not know.
and i'm scared.
and excited.
and i long to feel the sun on my face, and the grass under my head.
but it will be a different sun, and different grass.
on different skin, and under a new head.
but it will be the same sun, and the same grass.
i've had this skin since i was born. this head since then.
i'm the same. just different. just changing.
i'm going to a different place that is the same.
just different. just changing.
and i'm scared.
and excited.

resistance is futile?

i have been resisting the urge to type a "well it's the end of the semester and i'm super emo and i'm like totally going to miss all of my friends and i don't know what i'm going to do for the next three months!", post. i will continue to do so.

i will also resist the urge to write about this up and coming summer. i've said enough. so you will not get any "well it the beginning of summer and i'm totally stoked cause i'm going to be working at a camp with every single one of my bestest friends for the summer!". cause that would be a lie. well maybe a half lie. i'm working at a camp. but not with my bestest friends, with a bunch of people i don't know.

i will also resist the urge to write a poem. i'm not a poet and you do not want me to write anything for you.

i'm continuing to resist the urge to take on-line quizzes and post the results. you know something that is like: "so how half human half squirrel are you?", or maybe "which ant in an ant hill are you?".

i will also resist the urge to tell you all about my friends. the "well i totally love all of my friends. so here is a twelve page list of who they are and why they are like so completely amazing. Wang-Chung: You are so cool because you make me chinese food and then throw it on me when i call it Chinese food because you are japanese. but we all know it is really the same thing", sort of post.

i'm also resisting the urge to slaughter a zombie and save the world. not because i don't want to save the world, but mostly because i don't see any zombies. and if did i still wouldn't slaughter it. not because i'm a pacifist like previously stated, but because i'd be so scared i'd probably wet myself. then the zombie would eat me. i'm ok with that though, i think i would make good zombie food.

and i'm clearly resisting the urge to pack and clean the apartment even though it is two o'clock in the morning and i am probably leaving in like less than 14 hours. "well i'm like totally in denial about moving out tomorrow."...oh wait, that's actually true. except for the "like totally" part cause i probably wouldn't say that. i'd probably say "yup, i'm gonna watch a movie." movies are good, they are my down fall. i own too many. i need a u-haul to move them. i will miss them this summer. i hope my family will appreciate them for what they are. but probably not. they'll most likely not. too bad.

bulletproof

pacifism has once again filled the cavities of my body.
my marrow has been replaced with anti-violent serum.
so fear not my little jelly bean.
i will not hurt you.
i will keep my skills at a bay.
and in the mean time will focus all of my energy on enlightenment.
enlightenment of the physical and spiritual and emitional and movie going kind.

HIYA

i am a ninja.
and bored.
a lethal combination?
yes. for any would be attackers.
i am warning you not to sneak into my apartment.
or you will lose your face.
i will use my ninja warrior skills.
and you will lose an eye.
i will use my taekwondo skills.
and you will lose a nose.
i will use my telepathic skills.
and you will burst into flames.
watch out for me today.
i am lethal.

Treetops

When I was a young girl,
Trying to find her way
Above the tree tops, the tree tops , the tree tops.
When I was a young girl,
Trying to find her way
Above the tree tops, the tree tops, the tree tops.

I did not care, I did not care,
what they called me.

I'll float above the ocean.
The sun above is burning my head,
I will grow wings and fly everywhere.

when I was a young girl,
Trying to find her way
Above the tree tops, the tree tops, the tree tops.

I did not care, I did not care
What they called me.

No, I did not care,
I should not care,
What they called me, what they called me.

I'll float above the ocean
the sun above is burning my head.
i will grow wings and fly, everywhere.

But warm clouds,
Are dripping into my mouth.
Tasting of gold and..

I'll float above the ocean,
The sun above is burning my head
I will grow wings and fly everywhere..

Whatever I Want...

i like to swear. i wish it weren't looked down on so much. is swearing like eating idol meat? cause if it is, then i can say de-f-bomb without feeling bad. but if not, well then i guess i'm just going to hell. carla just swore. and there's a man streaking on my computer screen. and i'm supposed to beat him with a bat. weird. i need to study. three finals tomorrow. it shouldn't be too bad. i should copy those notes now so i can give them back to lisa. sorry i wasted time writing this instead of copying them.

ah! THE END!

home.
i nearly had a panic attack at IGA yesterday. not sure why. there were people every where that i recognized. i hated the feeling. i hated it. i think that maybe this is a sign from God. he's saying "Jamie, Thou shall NOT live in Oak Harbor".
and i'm like "SWEET!".

bored.
i'm home and i'm bored. i'm cleaning. earning 1,500 dollars. well sort of. it's more like i'm cleaning my conscience.

happy.
and even though i'm bored, and cleaning, and wanting to die. i'm somehow at ease. especially here. at dad's house. it's so nice outside. there are birds everywhere. the windows are open. the fields are green. it smells like fresh cut grass. fresh cut grass and spring. mmm. that's the best smell. i think i could stay here forever. but only if it was always green. and always spring. and always this moment.

my blackberry.

Thursday:
Bus. Org. Written Exam
First Aid Practical
Archery Skills Test
Work

Friday:
Archery Lesson Plan Due
Archery Order Form Due
Meet with Maria to take pictures for Golf
Golf Media Project due.
Outdoor Exam
Go Home

Monday:
Volunteer at Nursing Home (5 hours)
Dress fitting in the Wayne
First Aid Papers (3)

Tuesday:
Private and Commercial Exam
Archery Skills Test
Archery Exam
First Aid Exam
Work

Wednesday:
Aging Exam
Volunteer Paper due
Outdoor Exam
Work

Thursday:
Bus. Org. Exam
First Aid Exam
Work

ugh. thrusday please come very fast.

the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe.

chrissy and i had a discussion about facial hair.
here were the results:
I like guys with well manicured beards.
Chrissy only likes certain guys with beards.
I like scruffy faces.
Chrissy only likes certain guys with scruffy faces.
I like it when a guys beard is a different color from their hair. it breaks up the monotony. and makes it funny.
Chrissy likes it when it is all the same color.
We both like well trimmed goatees.
We do not like chin pube, neck beards, moustaches, "cheek" beards. especially not brice from the library's.

cheese curdles don't come out of the cow that way.

i think i might buy a new book.
i need to get a pair of shoes for the wedding.
i'm going to upload some Ella Fitzgerald onto my MP3 player.
then i'm going to take my new book and my music to the sunken gardens.
i might go for a hike in the woods.
i could take pictures of spring plants and stuff.
first i should develop the film from when i did that in february.
yesterday i told aaron that i want to go to maine.
now i really want to go to maine.
anyone up for a road trip in august?
or ireland. i want to go there too.
too bad you can't drive there.
that would be pretty cool though.
i should invent a car that would let me drive across the ocean.
something that is hydroelectric. well maybe not electric. that could be deadly.
i had a camper one time who would spend our rest times inventing things.
she told me all about how she wants to start a colony under the water. people would live in glass houses.
but of course it couldn't really be glass because the pressure would make it shatter.
it would need to be transparent steel.
she had it all figured out.
it was pretty amazing for a 6th grader.
her name was rachel and her family was from africa.
she had some pretty cool stories. way cooler than mine and i'm 21.
that kid is going far.
i'm kind of sad that i won't get to see her this summer.
she was a blast.
i'm sad that i'm not going to get to have Allie as a camper either.
she was truly amazing.
a mini-encore. that's what she was.
one time she said she liked to go down the inflatable slide on her bosom, she meant her bottom.
it was funny.
i'm kind of sad now.
i'm going to miss those michindoh kids.
but i'm sure there are amazing pvm kids too.
that will be fun to meet them.
i'm a little sad that i won't get to spend as much time with them.
but i'm really excited to meet my counselors!
i can't wait for this semester to be over.
and the 18 to come.
and for the counselors to come.
and for the campers to come!
i love it.

helen of troy...or winnepeg?

i watched "The Saddest Music In The World" last night. it was not what i was expecting. i was expecitng moulin rouge, it was young frankenstein. only not as funny. but just as good. i like movies a lot. i'm going to go watch one about a family of midgets "Tiptoes", yes i like legless beer robber barons and midgets. i'm glad there is a market for me.

...and you're in college?

i just spent the morning at Thornhill practicing survival/first aid scenarios. and then i got to facilitate the low ropes course. at 1 i get to go do archery. then i'm spending the rest of the evening playing games with kids. i love the life of a rec major!

Blast from the Past

its strange when you find blogs of friends from high school. and for the most part i use the term "friends" lightly. its weird to read what they are up to, or at the very least what they threw up. i'm glad i decided not to go to BG or UT. i'm glad i left ohio. i'm glad i made new friends. where would i be right now? probably drunk at B-Dubs. i've officially decided that i will not move back to oak harbor. never. i think that part of my life is over. i'm ready to graduate, and move on with my life. i guess a little blast from the past is alright every now and then...but please don't make me live there.

i need...

i'm spacing. i need to concentrate. i need to go to bed. i need to figure out my presentation. i need this semester to be over. i need to go to spain. i need a drink.

Chutes Too Narrow

i see to be slightly obsessed with The Shins. and for good reason. at least that's what i think

as it draws to an end

18 days until the end of the semester

20 days until i go home

24 days until i leave for camp

::::wierd::::

You put the cyn in cynicism

why am i so cynical? why does huntington mass produce this kind of person? do we take cyn 101? no. we take western civ. and bib hit lit. and understanding the christian faith. and philosophy. we learn how to think. they want us to. that's why we're here. not for job training. not to socialize. not for the perfect christian experience in the perfect christian environment. we're here for an education. to learn how to be analytical. i know that's what i want. i want to be able to think things through. to make up my own mind about something. unfortunately we there is a bi-product to this type of enlightenment: cynicism. i see it in myself. i can't sit through a chapel with out condemning it. i can't sit through a church service without picking it apart. i can't be in a room with the "uber christians" without feeling like sludge. is this really what i wanted? hmm. well what's the opposite? i suppose without this type of education i would be naive. i hate rose colored glasses, and i couldn't imagine being forced to wear them my entire life. what kind of life would that be? seeing the good in everything and ignoring the consequences? i'd hate that. there'd be elves dancing and rainbows and butterflies everywhere. i hate butterflies. there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. and elves keep AK 747's in their pointy shoes. But is that what I want? to be bitter and down cast all the time? no. hmph. i guess that the trick is to somehow figure out how to combine the two. to be graciously cynical. i want to be able to see the good and the bad in everything. i guess i just need to be able to have grace and love too. maybe that's what a huntington education is about. to learn how to have grace. to forgive. to see around it. why are they leaving that course out of our education. i don't think i'm getting my bucks worth here. maybe it's a good thing i figured this out before i graduated. now i have one year to try to align my vision. huh. it's tough. i've tried it before and have found myself back where i started. i guess i'll try not to fall of the wagon this time. this is an incoherent entry. i don't know why i'm typing it. i sound like a terrible person. hmm. oh well. you can use your own educated self to make that judgment. i just hope you can show me a little grace. i'll try to do the same for you.

Pygmalion Rules The World

Discuss your thoughts regarding your reading of the article, “Pygmalion in Management.”

“If managers’ expectations are high, productivity is likely to be excellent. IF their expectations are low, productivity is likely to be poor.” I find it interesting that we as humans, the only species on the planet with the capability of reasonable thought, can be so swayed by the expectations of another person. One would think that with the technology and education that we have today, you would be led to think that self fulfilling prophesy and reverse psychology is the thing of the past, but it is not. I realize that this type of “control” is not limited to business, but I think that having a background knowledge in psychology a manager could be much more effective in leading his subordinates.

What is it that makes a manager create such high performance levels? “The answer, in part, seems to be that superior managers have greater confidence than other managers in their own ability to develop the talents of their subordinates”. What managers believe about themselves directly influences how their subordinates see themselves. This taken into consideration, it seems like superior motivation is cyclical. If Mr. X is a superior manager and he portrays self-confidence and knowledge to such and extent that his subordinates begin to replicate him, then they too will learn how to be self-motivators. If the subordinates are put into a position of leadership, then they will lead as they were led and a new group of subordinates will learn how to lead effectively.

I suppose that this is the idea of how learning and leadership should work. If more employees are becoming superior motivators and they are creating more superior employees, then it seems logical that Darwin’s Survival of the Fittest theory should be more than recognizable here (even if it is only noticeable in one company). Assuming that a company would only promote subordinates of a superior caliber, it logically leads that all employees will one day be taught to be superior. Perhaps in some strange way this means that Pygmalion is taking over the world! Or maybe not, but if we know how to train our employees to be superior and thus increasing productivity and quality, then why not? I don’t think that I would mind a Pygmalion run world…except for maybe the mind control and stuff, but that really is a minuet detail.

What if we were to use this tactic sooner in life. What if we taught our grade schoolers using this method? I suppose that it would logically reveal that our drop-out rate would decrease, and college attendance would increase. That would mean that there would be more qualified people entering the workforce, and more qualified people to work in and run companies, therefore making them far more superior. Although, if there were twice as many people competing for the same job, that would potentially mean that there would be twice as many people without work, and twice as many people on unemployment, and our economy would drop exponentially. If that happens inflation would sky rocket, and no one would be able to purchase any of the products or services that the superior graduates produced, and so there would be lay offs and more people would lose their jobs. I guess that means that we don’t want Pygmalion to run the world. WHEW! that was a close call!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
In case you were wondering...i did turn this paper in. MWHAHAHAHAHA!

a rather simple epitaph

just when i think i have it all figured out, another door opens up and i'm left where i started. SAB or no SAB. Not for Profit or no Not for Profit. Both will give me internship possibilities. Both will give me great experience. I already have experience in both. I kind of want to do both. But i don't want to actually do both at the SAME TIME. Hmph. what to do. (sigh). thanks mike, i'm glad you opened my eyes to this. that's not sarcasim either. i really am glad you told me about it!

the apartment. i think it's ours. aug-july. we wouldn't be there for aug of this year and i probably won't be there for most of may-july of next year. but it's so much cheaper. and the freedom. oh how i heart freedom. everything seems to be falling in place. now i just need a loan for next semester. and a bed. oh, and to be approved for off campus housing. that would be good. come on ron coffee! I'm AMAZING...you should approve me!!!

::on a different note::
it's raining outside. i have the window open. it smells amazing. i love spring. and i'm really diggin After Hours by Rilo Kiley. and Young Pilgrims by The Shins. I think if i play that song one more time carla might pull my toe nails out. but i love it. i think i'll take the chance AHHH... Thunder. Spring is here. it's raining. i want to go outside and run in it. roll in it. splash in it. live in it. it makes me think of summer storms. tornado warnings and hail. getting paid for watching tv. i love that we have memories. that we cling to them. that they can bring us joy. i feel melancholy, in a good way. oh i want to be outside. i wish we could always be wet. that would be the best. too bad.


:::::PS:::::
I DID IT! i stood in the rain. i'm wet, and cold, and happy. mmm, i love the rain!

sympathy and laughing gas.

matt showed us how to swallow a toothpick during a meeting.
i laughed.
chrissy mimicked a drunk person while watching tv.
i laughed.
jenny imitated a falling tree on our nature hike.
i laughed, so hard i cried.

i think i need to learn how to be sympathetic. or at least fake it. that might be good, but less funny.

a summary?

i can almost sit down and breath.
just a few more hours.
just a few more days.
just a few more weeks.

then its done.
no more papers.
no more tests.
no more.

and then it starts.
i can't wait.
bring it!

wait for it!...WAIT FOR IT!!

Your neighbor is pruning his tree, his daughter is mowing the lawn. A big bird swoops down dive bombs your tree climbing neighbor. Your neighbor looses his balance and falls to the ground. Meanwhile, his daughter is distracted by a shiny object and does not see her father lying on the ground. She runs over his foot cutting off his pinky toe. You hear a blood curdling scream and run to investigate. What do you do?

AHHHHH!

so much to say...but no time to say it!

an excerpt from carla's paper.

"they're a picture perfect family (just a little uglier than normal)"

i'm suffering

from....idon'twanttodomyhomeworkitis.
Symptoms:
A sudden increase in cleaning.
The intense desire to write a novel.
Sore index finger from surfing the net.
A bruised forehead from repeated smashes to a hard surface.

Remedy:
An all nighter.

great.

nostalgia

my entry from exactly one year ago today.

that's right
here's a something i said recently:
"I'm a recluse.......a recluse and PROUD OF IT!"

funny how things never really change. just this year i said:
"i think i'll just become a hermit, and live in a cave in the woods. that way i can make friends with all of the woodland creatures before i shoot them and skin them and make them in to a lovely stew."

apparently the only thing that has changed has been my desire to be funny. hmmm. i think i'm almost ok with that. just wait till next april 13. maybe something will be different then.

butt thumping...like tub thumping

someone should teach my roommate that if you don't fart your guts will EXPLODE!

my only rebuttal

i like to use swearsies

i will not.

i'm updating because she is forcing me to.
i have a gun at my head and a knife at my throat.
i need to write this crap other wise she will punch me in the face.
oh, oh, oh, i don't want to get punched in the face.

she told me to write that.
she sang it at me, and forced me to pen it.
but i will not.
i will not do something against my own will.
i will not.
i will not.
i will not.

april showers bring may flowers!

today was a beautiful day.
i planted flowers,
and took a nap,
and tied knots outside,
and played with kids,
and heard a band.
and realized that maybe my classes are a little different than most.
and maybe my job is a little more relaxed than most.
and maybe i like it a whole lot more!

jmebarrett's Xanga Site

i think i'm suffering from senioritis. i'm only a junior.
i just want to be done.
to have a job.
to have a career.
to move out of indiana.
to move out of ohio.
to move away from michigan.
to live in washington.
to live in oregon.
or the napa valley.
or colorado.
or new york.
or maine.
or Massachusetts.
or new hampshire.
or.
or.
or
or
or
or.

over heard at the salon last night...

my name is francesco. i like to wear tight pants and saunter.

brain farts and senior moments

i think i did something dumb. but i can't remember. but i think i did. i mean there is proof that a wrong doing occurred. and my name is attached to it. but i don't know what i did. i don't remember. not at all. maybe my subconscious has blocked it out. maybe it was so offensive that i don't even want to remember it. it makes me want to cry. maybe i'm being framed. it's sad that i don't remember. it's sad that no one has really said that i did something wrong. but i saw the receipt. it's there. in blue and yellow. but i don't remember. and now i feel dumb. and evil. and my stomach is churning. and my heart is burning. but i don't know why. i don't want to cry, it's dumb. i'm sorry to you that i did something dumb to. i can honestly say i didn't mean it. and that i don't remember it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ani defranco singing When Doves Cry is a tragedy. i cringe more when she sings it than i do when i hear prince. i think that the barenaked ladies maybe the only band that i have ever heard perform it well. very well in fact.

good mood catalysts

-the shins
-ani defranco
-eisley
-bright eyes
-saturdays

i guess today has the makings of a very good day!

a poem

happy freakin day...i'm outta here next may!

down hill

6 weeks left. sounds so completely strange. i can't believe that this year is almost over. advising is this week. registration next. craziness. 6 weeks and then maybe only two semesters instead of three, and then i'm done. done with college. a college grad. strange. i feel like i'm still a freshman. only i don't feel like a freshman at all. i sort of feel like i've wasted this experience called college, just because i don't do normal college things. weird. crap. gotta type a paper. even though i've been at this thing for three years, for some reason i still resist the need to do homework. i should definitely stop that if i'm going to graduate a semester early. next year will be crazy. i will work and i will study and i will sleep. and that will be all. blah. but i'll graduate. and maybe, hopefully get a job somewhere that i like, doing what i want. that's the goal right? to be marketable? well...here's to marketability!

no work for six days!!!!!

another day over...well techinically i suppose, but i don't actually plan on sleeping for a while. i finally get to go home tomorrow, and i'm looking forward to it....that's a surprise. it feels like spring break is finally starting! i'm pretty excited about this weekend actually...getting my hair cut and re-colored on thursday...that's always fun. and i'm supposed to meet my big bro in toledo for dinner. one last dinner before he moves to vegas on friday. even though i don't get to see him much now, i'm really going to miss him when he's all of the way across the country, instead of just across the state line! i get to hang out with em this weekend too! i don't see her near enough...makes me kind of sad that we're going in such completly different directions, but that's ok...at least i know where to find her and lee! alright, i suppose i should go finish cleaning the apartment...i only started it on sunday...i think i've lost all motivation. maybe i'll get a second wind sometime tonight...that usually happens around 2 or so....that would be amazing, then i could be like a super cleaning tornado. i guess for now i'll just have to settle for being a sloth...that's always fun!

ah...spring break!

although i wouldn't like to admit it, this break has been relatively relaxing...and the apartment is starting to look squeaky clean! i think that everyone should spend four days by themselves, you'll discover just how creative you can be! i think i have just enough time to squeeze in another movie before i go to work today...hmmm what shall it be. i'm sort of in the mood for eulogy, but i watched that yesterday....maybe garden state that always makes me happy....or amelie.... or mambo italiano...or one of the other two hundered movies we have....hmm...decisions, decisions!

xxxxxxxxx

i think i might be a bitch...oh wait i can't say that, can i? shit...now i'm going to hell.

mwhahahaha!

is it bad that i'm gambling on campus?...and what have i bet on?....A RING DOWN!...how sad is that. that we have come to the point where we can practically pick who the newly engaged college student is...and what did we bet? a $10 CD...here's hopin for maroon 5!

i'm loving it!

...this weather that is.

i got a beautiful feeling, everythings going my way...

i started off the day in a good mood. a yay-its-saturday-and-i-don't-have-to-work-or-do-anything-and-my-roommates-are-gone-so-i-could-run-around-in-my-underwear-or-a-beaver-costume-and-no-one-would-notice sort of mood.

it was then down graded to an eh mood.

and has just recently bottomed out at a ah crap sort of mood. a ah-crap-a-big-semi-just-hit-me-in-the-face-and-then-i-turned-around-to-get-out-of-the-way-and-a-sea-gull-craped-on-my-head-and-then-in-a-bout-of-anger-i-decided-to-shoot-the-sea-gull-which-somehow-morphed-into-a-small-child-and-now-i-must-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-in-jail sort of mood.

sadness.

its almost over!!!

such a long freaking week. two exams and a paper. not to mention classes and working till 7:30 so far every night this week. i'm completely exhausted! i think that i just might go to bed...BEFORE 9:30!!!!!

AMAZING

yeah i think that's a pretty good way to describe this weekend. although i had to get up like super early on saturday (we're talking 4:45 am here!), it was well worth it. i think i'm even more excited for camp to start now that i have met a few more of the staff members. they're all so great. i don't think that i have ever been with a group of new people, that i have felt so instantly accepted. that was a very delightful surprise. i was also delightfully surprised to discover that the challenge course at PVM was very nearly identical to the one at michindoh. it was nice to already have a leg up on the training. i was also trained on the zip line. i think that may have possibly been the most frightening thing that i have ever done. i am absolutely horrified of heights. but thanks to matt, i was guilted into going down. all i can say is that once is more than enough. i was so scared that i almost cried when they tried to convince me to go down. and when it was all over with, i almost threw up. i just don't see the thrill. i guess i'm a different sort of adrenaline junky. you know. the kind that gets really excited when the new sedaris book comes out. yeah sad i know. but at least i don't die that way.

i was completely exhausted after spending 7 hours outside in the freezing southwest ohio air, so i went to bed at 10:30 last night, and didn't wake up until 1:30 today. i think that it would have been more amazing if i had actually slept the entire time...that would have been amazing.

speaking of amazing. i got to talk to all of my family on the phone today. that was a delightful surprise. i'm so happy that my grandparents are recovering well, and they'll be coming home next saturday...and grandpa got up out of his bed and walked to wheel chair with only the aid of a walker! he hasn't done that in a really long time! amazing! cory called me today too. he said that he and carry would be coming by huntington on their way out to vegas, and wanted to visit. too bad i'm going to be home for spring break when they leave. but cory said that we might be able to meet in toledo for dinner before they leave...that would be fantastic cause i haven't seen that stinkin kid since christmas, and if he moves to vegas i'll never get to see him. that and i'd kind of like to meet carry.

i think the most exciting news of the weekend came when i talked to dad on the phone. he told that for my birthday (in september) he was going to buy me a plane ticket to vegas so i could see cory and carry!!! i'm so excited about that. that is perhaps the best birthday present that i could ever think of. that of course led to another phone call to cory to tell him...he was really excited too. so at some point in time around my 22 birthday i'm going to go to vegas for three or four days. i get to miss like three days of class...maybe gamble a little...see a show or two...and of course visit with my brother. what an amazing weekend.

ugh! part II

And they're back...said the monkey when he had his balls reattached by the E.R. doc.

ugh!

And they're off....said the monkey when he got his balls caught in the lawn mower.

Holy Pleasant Vineyard Batman!

well it is official. i am (or will be when i sign the contract) am on the pleasant vineyard ministries summer staff. and i'm pretty pumped at that! i'm really excited to get my practicum started (and possibly and internship at that!), and i'm even more excited to take on my core staff responsibilities! i'm very exctied to go there this weekend for core staff training #1, too! i really hope this summer goes well. it sounds like the program is undergoing a lot of changes...new leadership, new core staff positions...and i really hope that they find their niche this summer. i can't wait to experience a new format. and new counselors. and new campers. and make some new "networking connections" (eh? ya like that? connie would be so proud!). and i'm just excited.

Like Father, Like Daughter

my dad just called. he wanted to give me a little parental advice. and i quote:
"Just pull down your pants and slide on da ice...Goodbye!

randomness. now i see where i get it from.

a revelation...

sometimes when i open my mouth, this is all i hear: "blah blah blah. IAMFULLOFCRAP.DONOTLISTENTOME.CRAPWILLSPILLONYOU.ORMAYBEPEANUTS.ORMONKEYS. blah blah blah."

That is all.

biographies seem to make my heart go pitter-patter; cross that with a woody allen movie, and we are talking full on cardiac arrest. what could be better than a documentary like movie about a jazz guitarist in the 1930's. a movie that combines witty writing with hilarious situations in a completely audacious and realistic way. prostitues and dead rats seem to find their way into my heart. it makes me long to live in an era where music was as vital as air, and nothing else mattered. oh how i heart the Sweet and Lowdown!

you are what you feel?

blah. i think i'm getting strep throat or something. that doesn't make me very happy. not being able to swallow doesn't make me very happy either. typing three papers tonight also does not make me very happy. i sound like an angry housewife, but i'm not angry nor a wife so that's not it. i listened to norah jones and john mayer all day today. they just seemed to fill a void. that makes me happy, now my musical yearning has been filled...and i was moderately productive, so all in all i guess that it was a good day; strep throat and sore ear aside. this blog aside too. because it is crap. and i feel like crap. maybe that means that i am crap. are you what you feel? if so that would be very sad, because i don't particularly feel like being crap. i think that if i were crap i would always be warm and steamy and smell like carla's feet. that might just make me throw up, but i don't think that crap can throw up. this whole topic also makes me want to throw up. but i do not want to do that. so i will end this post with a happy thought: there is not pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, only a mad man with a machete.

...and i think all of this suspense might make my head implode.

monkey pit eyelashes

of badminton and studying

i have a private and commercial recreation exam tomorrow. i'm not really in the mood to study, but i will. we played badminton again today in rec sports.
now my shoulder hurts. and i learned that i'm not really all that bad, so that's a good thing i guess. maybe if i could learn how to serve that would help. i heard from the camp, nothing definitive though. just telling me that i need to get all of my references in. i think i might go shopping this weekend. i had an interesting conversation with aaron last night. it was kind of nice. i like that kid. but i guess he's not really a kid since he's like four years older than me. that would make him like what 25. old. maybe not, i guess that's how old my brother is. it's not really that old. someday i'll be 25 if i don't die, i just need to make sure that i stay away from squirrels. i think that they want to eat my eyes out, and then pee in my eye sockets so that i get an infection. i'm pretty sure that's how i'm going to die. either that or i'll choke on something. maybe like a penny or something. but i don't put pennies in my mouth because that's gross. or maybe someone will kill me with a knife. or maybe i will fall out of a fourth story window. or maybe my heart will implode. or maybe i will die in a car accident. or maybe i will be whisked away in a firey chariot and never die. i'm sure it will be one of those ways though. a talking banana told me so.

i don't have anything to type. nothing of significance anyway. not that i ever do, because i don't. i think that for the most part i am just full of crap.

an apology

so i was reading some old posts...and i found one entitled TIME, and it kind of put me in a better mood. now i think i can go to bed a little more relaxed. sorry about being all emo and girlie...or just pissed and PMSie or something. whatever.

enough.

i'm so bored. and irritated. i don't think that the two are related, but i suppose it is possible. i feel like such a jerk today. i think i'm being really short with everyone today. and little things are really bugging me. like noisy eaters. and i'm just not in the mood for cynicism. Or for people trying to convince me that i'm wrong. it's making me rather argumentative. i have fought over the dumbest things today, but i just don't want to loose. i get sick and tired of trying to constantly defend my position on everything. especially things that are opinions! no matter how hard someone tries, you are just not going to change my mind on appropriate office dress, or what a marriage should be based on. i'm tired of being talked down too. i'm tired of people thinking i'm an idiot. i'm tired of it all. i'm sick of it. i think that if one more person argues with me, i just might have to revert to a former rage. something i haven't done since high school. not a pretty picture. but i'm tired of it. i just wish i was somewhere that i didn't have to constantly feel like this. i wish someone would just freaking take an interest in me for what I think. i'm tired of always being the funny one. Or the ditzy one. Or the quiet one. Or the loud one. i want to be the smart one. Or the opinionated one. Or the civil one. Or the respectful one. Or maybe just Jamie. i don't know why i'm typing this. this really isn't something that i should be typing for everyone to see. but i guess it doesn't really matter anyway. it won't make difference, i'm not going to change the way other people think just like they are not going to change me. so i guess we should all just stop trying. right? and get along. right? is that possible? i don't know anymore. i'm tired, and depressed, and sick of it.

February 12, 2005

b movies, shopping, chinese food, phone calls, being a jerk, talking to a jerk (HA!), vanity fair, buy 4 movies for the price of 2 [Garden State, Kill Bill VOL II (stupid store didn't have VOL I on DVD, maybe someday), Saved, and House of Sand and Stone]. not a bad saturday if i do say so myself...and i do!

Oh Dear Sweet Virginia!

*on a previous conversation regarding the Virginia State Flag*

jmebarrett: so kade and i argued for about 20 minutes about whether or not it was actually a boob....until i provided some irrefutalbe evidence
jmebarrett: but then he trumped me by telling me he was more amazing than him...so i lost the debate
jmebarrett: cheap shot i think
Pigtales84: he was more amazing than who?
jmebarrett: than me
jmebarrett: either that or the Virginia flag chick with her boob sticking out
jmebarrett: but i think that she might have him on that one
jmebarrett: it takes some real balls to have your boob displayed to the world...except of course she doesn't have balls because she has boobs....although i suppose she could have boobs and balls....but that would make me see Virginia in an entirely different light...so...oh crap i forgot the point of what i was saying
jmebarrett: you can make one up and pretend that it was a good point

It really is an unending song!`

I didn't realize it...but yesterday was my one year anniversary with blogger! this is the very first anniversary that i've ever had. for anything! oh...that's kind of sad. i'm 21 and just had my first ever anniversary for anything, and i forgot about it! maybe it's a good thing that i have never had the responsibility of remembering an anniversary before, i probably would have just screwed it up. ahh...i started out happy and now i'm slightly depressed, and keenly aware that valentines day is coming up and i will be alone. no wait! not alone...i have my blogger!

blahh!!!!!!

i want to rant, and i want to rave. but i don't think that it would do any good. because no one would listen to me anyway. and the subject of my anger is intangible, and the people representing it would just find some way to make me feel like crap. sometimes i hate going to a christian school. sometimes i just hate being a christian. sometimes i hate that i have these feelings. but i better not let anyone know this because that would just make them better than me. and it would win. and i would loose again. and i don't want to loose again. i just want to be done. and out. and it to be over with. but i know when i am done. and out. and it is over with, i will just have to contend with the same things. and the same representatives. and it will never be over. and it will always win. and i will always loose. but maybe that's what it means to be a christian. maybe that's our goal. to always win. and to always make ourselves loose. blahhhh!!!! i don't want to put up with it any more. but i will. because it will build character. and i will learn. and i'm sure that "god is just teaching me something". and that it's in god's will. but is it really in god's will for christians to represent that? is it? have they ever read the bible? have I?

And the award goes to...

i was going to type something. i don't remember what it was though. but it was inspirational. and people were going to give me awards. maybe a pulitzer. or a nobel. but now i don't remember what it was. so i guess i won't be winning any awards. and now my life has no meaning. so i'm going to kill myself with a banana. death by banana. tell me how that would work. in the mean time i'll study for my exams tomorrow, and try to remember what i was going to type and why it was so inspirational, so that there won't have to be another death at the hands of a banana.

*post script*-if you could also tell me why i have a sudden obsession with bananas, that would be much appreciated. thank you.

i'm too lazy to title things

President George Washington owned foxhounds named DRUNKARD, TIPLER and TIPSY.

It takes 110 domestic silkworm cocoons to make a man's tie and 630 to make a blouse.

PHILLIP DRINKER and Louis Agassiz Shaw built the first IRON LUNG with two vacuum cleaners at Harvard University in 1927. Iron Lungs are known as DRINKER RESPIRATORS.

CHRISTMAS became a National Holiday in the U.S. in 1890.

The FIRST TRANSOCEANIC CABLE MESSAGE was sent on August 16, 1858 and said "Europe and America are united by telegraph. Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace and good will towards men".

BUDDY was the name of the FIRST SEEING EYE DOG in AMERICA, brought to the U.S. in 1928 from Switzerland by owner Morris Frank.

The Pony Express only lasted 18 months, from April 1860 to October 1861.

The Lone Ranger's mask was made from the vest of his dead brother Capt. Daniel Reid by Tonto.

CLEO and CAESAR were early stage names of CHER and SONNY Bono.


1967 introduced NEW Words and Phrases into our vocabulary: Boutique, Hippie or Hippy, Teeny-Bopper, Nitty Gritty, Permanent Press, Narc, Hipsters, Kinky, Public Television, Scam, Swap Meet and Think Tank. Counterculture figurehead Dr.Timothy Leary advises, "Turn on, tune in, drop out".

TV's MR.ED who's real name was Bamboo Harvester, was once a parade horse. He was bought for $1,500 by Filmway Productions.

Stephen Stills, John Sebastian and Paul Williams all failed auditions to become members of the MONKEES.

JIMI HENDRIX was the opening act for the MONKEES on their first tour.

The parts of the human body that have only three letters are: arm, ear, eye, gum, jaw, leg, lip, rib and toe.

Ian Fleming, creator of the JAMES BOND adventure novels also wrote "CHITTY-CHITTY BANG BANG".

Benjamin Franklin wanted the TURKEY as the national symbol of the United States.

According to SMURF legend, a baby SMURF is born "Once in a Blue Moon".

On July 4, 1979, DONALD DUCK presented Teresa Salcedo the first birth certificate ever given for being born in DISNEYLAND.

The first TEST TUBE BABY born in the United States on December 28, 1981 is Elizabeth Jordan Carr.

When they were babies, both BROOKE SHIELDS and musician DR. JOHN posed for IVORY SOAP.

PAMPERS disposable diapers were invented in 1961.

The band "PEARL JAM" was named for lead singer Eddie Wedder's grandmother, PEARL, and the hallucinogenic PRESERVES (JAM) she made from peyote.

NIPPER the RCA dog was a Fox Terrier.

There were 5 MARX brothers: GROUCHO (Julius), CHICO (Leonard), HARPO (Adolph), GUMMO (Milton), ZEPPO (Herbert).

UNDERDOG'S secret identity was "Shoeshine Boy".

The Russian government between the Czars and the Bolshevists was called Provisional.

The color KHAKI was first used during the AFGHAN WAR in 1880 because the color was considered good camouflage.

In World War II Army slang for an ARMY DONKEY was G.I. MOE.

The FIRST TELEPHONE MESSAGE by Alexander Graham Bell on March 10, 1876 to his assistant Thomas Augustus Watson was "Mr. Watson, come here I need you".

L'Oreal introduced the first hair spray in 1960 called ELNETT.


The TV DINNER was introduced during WWII by SWANSON because cans and metals were rationed during the war.

The skateboard was invented in 1963.

According to both FRENCH and PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH tradition, BELLS NICHOLS is the name of Santa's BROTHER.

"Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings at a single bound, look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? It's Superman!"

In the comic books, BEPPO was the name of Superman's MONKEY and COMET was his SUPER HORSE.

The initials used in C.A.R.E. stand for Cooperative American Relief Everywhere but originally stood for Cooperative for American Remittances to Europe.

MUHAMMAD ALI once said "When a man can fight sex, you know he's strong".

The BEATLES's movie HELP was originally titled "Eight arms to hold you".

In 1982, seven books by Jim Davis about GARFIELD were on the New York Times best-sellers list at the same time.

The Kings in a deck of cards are named: Alexander, Caesar, Charles and David.

In 1995, BLUE replaced TAN in the standard package of M&M candies. Blue was the overwhelming choice in a vote taken by MARS, Inc. The runner-up colors were purple and pink.

Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison all died at the age of 27.

GEORGE WASHINGTON was the FIRST President of the United States to have an "INAUGURAL BALL". It was held in New York City, NY on May 7, 1789.

Hands Across America took place in 1986. It was 4,150 miles long.

So far, GENE AUTRY is the only entertainer to have FIVE STARS on Hollywood's "Walk of Fame"...one in each of the "Walks" five categories of FILM, TV, RECORDING, RADIO and THEATER.

Helium is named after the Greek word for "sun".

The modern hamburger on a bun got it's start at the ST. Louis World's Fair in 1904.

HOWDY DOODY has a twin BROTHER named DOUBLE Doody and a SISTER named HEIDY Doody.

The plastic on the end of a shoelace is called an AGLET.

The word "Highjack" originated during prohibition. When a truck of illegal liquor was taken, the gunman would say "HIGH, JACK", indicating how the driver should raise his hands.

TRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA is the unnatural fear of the number "13".

I'm going to bed at before 10 o'clock.