are ya happy now?

i have a baby shower to go to this weekend. its strange. its strange because it is for carla sue. and that's strange because we went to college together, and that's strange to say because it is past tense. i never thought i'd reach the point where i refer to my college career in past tense. but here it is. the other day in biz com i was talking to chris about the clocks in the perc. i said "every year the schools says that they have synchronized the clocks, and every year they forget the perc." And chris says "are you a senior? yah? i thought so, you said every year. and i didn't think you'd use that phrase if it had only been the past two years". now people can tell that i'm old because of the tenses i use. ugh. and now she's married and about to have a baby. and i think that makes me almost old. emily...you're not allowed to have a baby yet...that would make us truly old. and that's not right! understood? good.

work has been crazy lately. (another thing an old person says) so many crazy things happening. it truly breaks my heart. week 9's clubhouse kids at camp, had me missing every single one of the kids at the club. that week was so crazy. those kids live lives that i would have a hard time stomaching. then i come back to the club this year, and learn more about these kids then i've ever known. and it breaks my heart. no one should have to deal with the things that some of these 6 year olds do. its not fair. i don't even know what to think about some of the things. i just know that they need to be loved. and affirmed. and guided, and whether they think so or not, disciplined. week 9 prepared me for this, and i thank God for that.

week 1 prepared me for jeff and deshi leaving. at the end of september, beginning of october. but i know what to expect. i've worked it before. more responsibility, more hours, more stress. but its how it has to be, and so i wouldn't want it any other way. i've done it before, and i can do it again.

its amazing how God can use an experience like camp in so many different ways. as an internship, as a ministry, as a character builder, and as prep work for what's to come. i love it.

carla i hope that you are appreciating this. this is longer than anything i've typed in a while. although i am still a fan of the two line entry.

i guess i'm sort of using this post as a catch up post. i hate posts like that. but at least its not bulleted.