Time

It's a lazy Sunday in October. But not just any day in October...the last day of October. It seems crazy to think that tomorrow is the first of November. Where did this semester go? It feels like I just moved in yesterday, like camp just finished two days ago. Like I just graduated from High School last week. Crazy how time continues on when we try everything in our power to stop it. Sometimes I think that our society is too concerned with stopping time, or even worse, turning it back. There seem to be so many opportunities to change who you are, to be a better-younger you. It's seems like craziness to me. But I guess that if I really think hard about it, I suppose that I spend a large portion of my life trying to fight time. I don't really know how I do though, I suppose mostly through denial. But maybe someday I will take a pro-active approach, and go to a Clock repair shop with a baseball bat and beat the crap out of time. Then I would be the ultimate warrior, and time would never wreck havoc on me again!....Okay so maybe what would really happen is this: I would walk into the clock shop and start whomping on those manky cuckoo clocks, until a bulbous looking store clerk came over and asked me if I would like some help. He of course would simply be running interference for the police who would storm in with their night sticks and laughing gas and hull me away to prison where I would sit and rot for fifty years. And time would stand still, and nothing would change and I would live in my cement cell until I turned 71 and died, and I would have truly conquered time. From now on you can just call me "Jamie, The ULTIMATE TIME WARRIOR!....GRRR!".

Ding Dong by Nellie McKay

my cat died and I quickly poured myself some gin
did she die from old age or was it for my sins
god I loved her oh so much
miss her little kitty touch
does she miss me does she care
oh I miss her kitty stare
do you have a little time
would you like to ease my mind
talk for hours and never stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person nicer
but you've heard it all before

(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell hello man in white
he's gonna make you all well
getcha through the night
but hey now
you don't feel better
as you take your fresh bromide
maybe this man of letters lied

let me tell you 'bout a dream I had the other night
you were in it boy you sure gave me a super fright
I was walking down the street
downtown by the DMV
you popped out behind a door
it was odd you were on all fours
do you have some time to spare
you were barking at a bear
it said hey you'd better stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person
nicer
but you've heard it all before

(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell
hello man in red
he's gonna make you all well
getcha into bed
but hey now
you don't feel better
as you wake and slowly rise
maybe this smooth jet-setter lied

(instrumental break)

stick around one minute more
I'm smarter than you think
do I sound like an old bore
oh man it's just the drink
I didn't always hit the gin
there were times when I fit in
they'll never know how much I tried
did I tell you my cat died
do you have a little time
would you like to feel sublime
run away and never stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person
nicer
but you've heard it all before

(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell
hello man in black
he's gonna make you all well
there's no going back
but hey now you don't feel better
as you drift off in the tide
maybe this jack the ripper lied
and you died

i was watching tv the other day, and there was this scene where a kid was sitting out window just thinking. that's when it hit me....i don't think that i ever really think! i'm not talking about common sense kind of stuff, or learning crap....but i mean actually thinking. like sitting down and thinking through a problem, or thinking about a relationship. i think when crap happens i just sit and try to forget. i don't want to have to spend time thinking about all of the crap that goes on in my life when i have to live through it. that, and i've been told that i make a funny face when i think. people always ask me if i'm ok, hmm...more reasons not to think. Okay moving onto bigger and better things...um...ok maybe not bigger or better, just moving on. i can't believe it's friday. it feels like it should be tuesday. it's crazy how fast this week went, and i'm glad. i think i'm getting sick. this makes me very sad. i'm pretty darn tired of being sick. i had my advising meeting for classes next semester....i'll have to say i'm pretty excited about some of the classes that i get to take. outdoor recreation and campcraft...recreational sports...first aid & emergency procedures....oh the life of a rec major! i really wish that it was thanksgiving. i think i'm going to skip out on going home, and go visit my brother instead. we were going to go to chicago for the weekend, but dumb, he has to work on friday and saturday. who's going to want to go to a fancy restaurant for thanksgiving weekend? NO ONE! people want to eat pumpkin pie for thanksgiving....not french pastries! they shouldn't need the executive pastry chef that weekend. but oh well the do. guess i'll just go up there and visit him, and force him to make me amazing food!!!! ok this entry is dumb and trivial, and the most asinine thing that i have typed in a long time.

sigh.

fall is my favorite season. and i think that cold rainy days are my favorite. today was just a good day. i didn't do anything. but it was one of the best days that i have had lately. this weather is just so invigorating. there is just something about colored trees, and a crisp breeze that puts a bounce in my step. i wish that the weather would stay like this forever. even the rain is encouraging. i don't know why, but somehow....it just makes me feel....happy, good, better....content!

i wish it was magically.....

i wish that it was magically friday.....that would mean that this week would be over.
i wish that it was magically thanksgiving....that would mean that i could spend some time with cory.
i wish that it was magically december....then this semester would be over.
i wish that it was magically may....then i would be working at a camp.
i wish that it was magically december 06.....then i would be done with school.
i wish that it was magically 10 years from now....then my life would be underway, and i wouldn't have to be living in a constant state of expectation.
i wish that it was magically 2035....then i could be almost maybe close to possibly thinking about retiring...and going on a world tour.
i wish that it was magically forever....then i would be....be....be...

ugh.
i want to throw up.
i want to punch myself.
i want to be not so dumb.
i wan to go home.
i want to sleep.
i want to not be here.
i want to throw up.
ugh
i want to hit myself.
i want to run away.
i want to never be responsible again.
i want to never be irresponsible again.
i want to hit myself.
ugh
i want to disappear.
i want to hide.
i want to flee.
i want to sink in a hole.
i want to disappear
ugh

 

is it bad when you have to schedule time to breathe?

i'm very excited. i finally ordered a griffin house cd. i've been wanting one for a while now....although i did not get to see him live in concert for my birthday, perhaps some how this will make up for that. i'm ready for fall break...but i don't think tha ti t will be much of a break. i think that i might be going to detroit with dad, to visit cory..that is if he ever calls me back. i have a "chinese dinner date" with kade...there is a bonfire on saturday night, i'll go if i am not in michigan, sunday is college "bible study" not the most amazing lessons, but the fellowship will be nice. hopefully eileen can cut my hair this weekend, that would make me a very happy girl. i think i'm going to get in contact with julie and schedule a meeting for monday or tuesday, if possible, for an interview for a school project. i should probably spend some time with my mom....and maybe i'll take eric out for a movie date, and some steak and shake for a little sibling bonding. i'll be back on tuesday...classes wednesday, set up for fall fest on thursday....fall fest on thurday...possibly power house on friday...i think that there may have been something that i forgot. hmmm...oh yeah my needs project is due friday. crazy week. i think that next weekend will be my real "fall break".....can't wait for this half of the semester to be over!....then i can get a job!

i'm going to catch a dodo bird...

ewe. being a grown up is not for me...
a ewe is a large sheep like thing with big horns...
i played a horn in marching band...
it made me laugh when the pizza marched on the stage...
Papa John's....i loath thee...
oh how i love thee...let me count the ways...
at the count of 153 i'm getting up...
on top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese...
why do we relate food to how we feel about something...you're corny, he's a big ham..
mmmm...hawaiian pizza...
Papa Johns....i loath thee...
much ado about nothing...
fabulous...
where are they...
boredom...
loneliness...
loathing...
Oh how i loath thee papa johns...
mmm garlic bread...
free cold plates, are amazing...
the mutated fox makes me laugh...
Yahoo!...
when will super man IM me...
ANGRY FACE!...
papa johns...i loath thee!

Quotable Quotes

"If you're feeling a little depressed, just realize that everyone else in the room is attracted to you!"~Dr. Smith on Newton's law of Universal Gravitation.

MXPX vs. Adulthood.........Adulthood wins.

i think that today just might be my most hectic day of the semester....i'm not really looking forward to it. i woke up at 6 and won't go to bed until1:30ish. good news though i do get a half hour lunch break....aw crap i forgot to schedule time for dinner. hmm. i guess it's bolognia sandwiches again for me tonight. oh well. maybe i'll have time to do laundry today.....i had better, or no one will want to be around me tonight at power house. crap i have a paper due at 8 and it's 7:07. so i'm going to go read the article so i can spit it out and get dressed so i can be on time for my 8 o'clock. ewe.

Michindoh....oh how i miss thee.

blue monkeys, and purple oranges.

it's almost ten am. i'm going to take a nap. is it a nap if your roommate is hasn't even gotten out of bed yet? i'm stressed. i think that my hair will fall out in clumps. i think i will pull my hair out in clumps. shhhhh keyboard be quiet, you will wake up the roommate. shhh roommate be quiet you too will wake up the roommate. shhhh brain be quiet, you are making me go crazy. i'm stessed. i think i will shoot myself in the foot. my eyes are heavy. i am going to take my nap. i'm glad there is no chapel today, it bugged me yesterday. i'm stressed. i think i will sleep my life away. then i will never have to deal with any responsibilities. MXPX said it best: "Responsibiblity, what's that....Responsibility not quite yet". how much longer can i say not quite yet for? i think for only an hour or so, roommate why are you back? you are supposed to be in class. shhhhh you will wake up the roommate. i think i need to listen to a little MXPX. it's been a while. it's nostalgic. i'm going to bed. i'm not crazy, don't worry, and don't make me take the blue pill. i'll be fine. note to self...go to bed.

boom.

i think i might shoot myself in the foot. yes that sounds like fun

on and on and on and on and on and on

it's friday! that is an exciting thing, even though i'm not planning on doing anything this weekend. well actually i guess i am. i'm looking forward to working at the PERC tomorrow with the kids whose parents are up for homecoming. that'll be relaxing. i love playing with kids. it's been too long since i have got go be goofy. davis hall is tomorrow too! i' m excited about that too. nothing like seeing all of my crazy peers, begin crazy! there showing terminal in front of the HUB tomorrow too! i'm excited. that movie sounds good. yay for weekends when i get to do things that i enjoy. it's been a while since i've had the opportunity.