You put the cyn in cynicism

why am i so cynical? why does huntington mass produce this kind of person? do we take cyn 101? no. we take western civ. and bib hit lit. and understanding the christian faith. and philosophy. we learn how to think. they want us to. that's why we're here. not for job training. not to socialize. not for the perfect christian experience in the perfect christian environment. we're here for an education. to learn how to be analytical. i know that's what i want. i want to be able to think things through. to make up my own mind about something. unfortunately we there is a bi-product to this type of enlightenment: cynicism. i see it in myself. i can't sit through a chapel with out condemning it. i can't sit through a church service without picking it apart. i can't be in a room with the "uber christians" without feeling like sludge. is this really what i wanted? hmm. well what's the opposite? i suppose without this type of education i would be naive. i hate rose colored glasses, and i couldn't imagine being forced to wear them my entire life. what kind of life would that be? seeing the good in everything and ignoring the consequences? i'd hate that. there'd be elves dancing and rainbows and butterflies everywhere. i hate butterflies. there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. and elves keep AK 747's in their pointy shoes. But is that what I want? to be bitter and down cast all the time? no. hmph. i guess that the trick is to somehow figure out how to combine the two. to be graciously cynical. i want to be able to see the good and the bad in everything. i guess i just need to be able to have grace and love too. maybe that's what a huntington education is about. to learn how to have grace. to forgive. to see around it. why are they leaving that course out of our education. i don't think i'm getting my bucks worth here. maybe it's a good thing i figured this out before i graduated. now i have one year to try to align my vision. huh. it's tough. i've tried it before and have found myself back where i started. i guess i'll try not to fall of the wagon this time. this is an incoherent entry. i don't know why i'm typing it. i sound like a terrible person. hmm. oh well. you can use your own educated self to make that judgment. i just hope you can show me a little grace. i'll try to do the same for you.