december 29

december 29. it's been quite a cataclysmic week. not so much for me but for the world. but i don't really think that i need to get into that. i think that the media has been doing a fairly good job of keeping us updated on the carnage of the tsunami, and besides that who really wants to hear me bellyache about something else. i seem to be doing that a lot lately. cynicism seems to be my mode of transportation. i don't think that made any sense, but at any rate you know what i mean. so i really don't have anything meaningful to type and i suppose that if i don't have anything to type, then i don't really need to type anything at all.

december 29. only a few more days until i make my venture out to another state for the seventh time since i have been "home" on break. i've decided that traveling from state to state makes me feel like i'm a world traveler. and then i remember that i have only been in three states since june, and beyond that michigan, ohio, and indiana are practically the same state so i suppose i really haven't been any where at all. that's ok though, i'll have more time and freedom to travel when i graduate, and i won't be responsible for anyone but myself because...well let's face it, the likelihood of becoming an old maid seems to be much greater than getting married. but who knows what's in the cards for me....oh wait...is that like blasphemy or something. probably. good to know that i'm also very likely to go to hell. i guess it's a good thing that it's not up to me or something.

december 29. again i have wasted the day. it is 7:30 and this is the first time since monday evening that i have left the house. ha! i'm glad it is break and i have the liberty, otherwise i think that i would truly be a hermit. i wonder what it would be like to be a hermit. i know what it's like to eat a hermit crab, but i suppose that is an entirely different thing.

december 29. i have been thinking about how intriguing the metamorphosis of the marital bed has been over the past decade. now i'm not referring to sex in any way, but the actual bed that a married couple sleeps in. it's interesting how fifty years ago it seemed to be completely obscene that a married couple would share a bed, and now we find it to be completely bizarre and a foreshadowing of a ruined marriage if a married couple sleeps in separate beds. it seems to make a lot of sense to sleep in two separate beds. no kicking. no hogging the covers. no being farted on. but then again i suppose it makes complete sense to share a bed as well. intimacy, love, security and all that jazz. but then again it also seems completely possible that i have no right to have any of these thoughts since i have never experienced the pleasure of being cuddled or farted on by a husband. perhaps this is just another sign of my obvious old maid-hood, or a more specific sign of a mental break down.

an update.

i suddenly have the need to throw up. it's not that i feel sick, i just want to throw up. i think that perhaps it has something to do with thinking. more specifically thinking about how bored and alone i am. and now i want to throw up. why is my first reaction to guilt and stress to throw up? i wonder if i'd feel better if i suddenly became bulimic. i bet that i would look better, but then my teeth would burn off and fall out because of the sudden increase of stomach acid in my mouth. so perhaps that isn't a good idea. but i still want to throw up. eww.

i hate coming to the library to get online. i just heard a three year old say butt head. it seems really sad that society is taking such an evil secular turn. i think that perhaps it's even more sad that at this moment i don't really give a crap. i still want to throw up.

i think that instead of throwing up i'm going to go home, and work on the christmas presents that i said i would make this year. i hate christmas. i hate the over commercialization; i hate the family atmosphere that it exudes; i hate that i hate it; i hate that i have to spend it with my family that no longer exists; i hate that it makes me feel guilty; i hate that there is no snow on the ground; i hate that my dad doesn't have a christmas tree; i hate that i'm completely missing out on christmas this year; i hate that i have contradicting feelings regarding christmas; i hate that all of this makes me want to throw up.

ugh. i'm bored. i think the allure of being home has completely warn off. i'm completely bored and i have realized that all of my friends in this town are either married or don't live here any more. it's hard being a single college student with almost exlcusively seriously dating or married friends. blah. growing up for me is ok, but no one else should be aloud to grow up. people should also not be aloud to talk at all in the library. especially if you are in jr high and are currently dressing like a prostitute.

i need someone to come rescue me from this town. either that or i need to throw up.

An Ode to my GPA

She seeks it here
she seeks it there,
that Jamie seeks it everywhere.
Is it in a tumbler?
Or is it in hive?
That damned,
elusive,
3.5.

****maybe it would help if i gave a shit....or maybe not.****

HUH???

today i realized why it is that i don't go to church when i come home.

it opened with a...."So my theory is that all this anti-christmas/christian opposition is stemming from the great pro-Bush christian turn out at the polls this year. The ACLU is making an extra effort by trying to ban Christ based Christmas songs and nativitys this year because never before have they felt threatened by Christianity"....i believe i whispered something to my little brother something about that being crap, and something about those thoughts being with the ACLU from it's conception.

the sermon was about keeping the spirit of christmas everyday. he opened with a "Now no where in the bible does Christ ask us to commemorate his birth, but his death...[with me mumbling..."and his resurrection...and his resurrection...and his resurrection!...again a chuckle from my bro]. Of course this statement was quickly followed by..."So when we celebrate christmas lets be sure to keep these 7 points in mind....oh and by the way it has nothing to do with anything that i wanted to talk about. (Ok so that last part my have been me...but it's really what he wanted to say!). half way through the sermon i realized that the church no longer partakes in the advent service any more....but the did have a lovely christmas tree! i believe that this realization may have spurred some comment about these people having their heads up their butts and being completely unaware of anything that is really going on. but don't worry i'm not like one of those cynical Christians who think or anything like that.

i stumbled across this post today. i find it rather interesting that someone else seems to feel somewhat like i do regarding some of these issues. i've decided that christmas is not only too commercialized, and too political, but the WASPs who are so pro-the reason for the season, seem to have forgotten what it is.

so as a result i have decided that in fact i am right. more right than some people and perhaps more wrong than others. but mostly right. yeah. and cheap so don't expect christmas presents. unless of course you get me something because then i will get you something. but don't worry my feelings will have nothing to do with the commercialization of Christ and or christmas, or of good will or love, but of obligation and guilt.

home sweet home.

i haven't felt that way in quite a while. actually i haven't even wanted to be in this part of the state since i graduated from high school. but i'll have to admit, there is something sort of relaxing and relieving about being back in Oak Harbor. Never ever in my entire life did i think that i would say that, especially in the past two years. crazy two years. that's how long it's been since my family has ceased to exist. but i find it to be kind of interesting how i seem to have a new family emerging. one with my mom. one with my dad. one with my brothers. one with my roomies. it's like i live four separate lives, and non of them can co-exist. it makes it kind of hard, but kind fun at the same time.

i spent last night with mom. we watched a movie at like (oh a cute little boy just looked at me...he almost ran into a book rack! ha! that would have been really cute...i hope that i have a kid that cute someday!).....where was i, oh yeah we watched the princess diarys 2 and talked. eric skipped his last day of school. something about his glands, or maybe it was something about my dad being amazing and letting him play hookie...i can't remember. that little kid is growing up too fast. i don't care if he 6'2" and 16 years old, he will always be my little brother.

dad and i are going to detroit to have breakfast with cory tomorrow, that should be fun. i miss that kid. i'm glad he finally decided that we were cool enough to be in his life! my big brother is great, i just never realized it before.

the trip back from huntington yesterday was by far the funniest trip of my college years. unfortunately think brett has finally realized just how unstable i am. and if someone could tell me why it is so funny to say BANANA MANHATTAN, i would appreciate it---*note*: to get the full effect, BANANA MANHATTAN must be spoken out loud in an accent. the type of accent doesn't matter...it just must not be in your own voice.---BANANA MANHATTAN!

ok enough of this jr. high diarying.

i think that when i become an axe murderer with a rusty spoon, i will not do this.

this one time, at this one place...

i've just decided that i am tired of hearing the same old things. i think that i'm going to start saying some new things; or maybe they will be the same things i have always said, just a little bit louder. i think that perhaps i could bring a new degree of craziness to this campus. too bad people don't want to take the time to listen to me. i'm a funny person. try asking me.

Santas on Parade

motivation is something that i seem to be lacking this week. i just want this semester to be over so badly that i have given up on doing anything. it's 2:00 in the morning and i just decided to review my stats for the exam tomorrow. it seems that i don't remember much from the beginning of the semester. i spent two and a half hours intermittently working on a physics study guide; i have yet to actually study it. i think i'll do that tomorrow between stats and the exam. but i'm almost done. they are my last two exams of the year 2004. the next exam that i take will be in 2005. that sounds really funny to say. i never thought that i would ever live this long, i guess i just didn't have many expectations for my life when i was a kid....what am i saying? i'm still a kid. sort of. blah, i can't knock the sleep out of my head. i do think that would be pretty amazing though. it would be like in I Heart Huckabees, when they hit themselves in the face repeatedly with a rubber ball to experience peace. i will have to admit though, there is a certain level of peace that can be attributed to hitting ones self in the face. and yes i do say this from experience. although i'm not sure why or when i hit myself repeatedly in the face with a rubber ball; but i suppose that could also be attributed to said beating. i'm rambling. it's dumb, and no one cares anyway. so i will leave you with this image.

Tuesday

my foundations meeting is in 15 minutes. then i am done with that class. i gave my presentation last week, and i've finished the semester long ministries project. i can see the end of the tunnel. i really can! it's this bright light. hmm i wonder if that is sheer anticipation, or if it means i'm dying. i ask in 45 minutes and i'll let you know

Stomach of Steel

As with most people I’ve discovered that I am a mix of both of my parents. I seem to have inherited the most defining characteristics of my mother: her temper and laziness. But I’m proud to say that the bulk of who I am has come straight from my father. We are so alike that at times I think that I’m looking at an aged, bald, male version of myself. I have developed most aspects of his personality, ranging from his unceasing curiosity to his culinary preferences.

If you were to ask any member of my family or anyone who has ever had dinner with him, they would all tell you the same thing: my father has a stomach of steel. His daily meals consist of: two cans of tuna fish, two cans of mandarin oranges, one can of spinach, and the occasional can of whole potatoes. He doesn’t seem to understand why at break time, his fellow employees steer clear of him. I think the closest he has ever come to understanding the bizarreness of his meal was the time that the toilet backed up at work. He was telling me how it smelled really bad. He walked into the bathroom and found his two bosses snaking the toilet. He stated the obvious: “It stinks”, and as an after thought “I don’t think I’ve ever smelled anything like that”. To which they responded in unison, “Tuna Fish.”

I love my dad, but it seems that he was unjustly denied any chance at being able to naturally eat or cook normal foods; the cooking gene just seems to have skipped a generation with him. My Dad’s mom, who incase you didn’t know would be my grandmother, is an amazing cook. It seems to me that she finds the same kind of rush in cooking, that an adrenaline junky finds in sky diving. Food was part of our family’s culture. If you were sad, grandma would fix you something to eat. If you had just completed some amazing feat, like eating a 42 pound turkey in world record times…..well congratulations! Grandma will make you some mashed potatoes and gravy to go with it. I was never able to escape my grandparent’s home without some sort of morsel of food being crammed into my hand. Too often I heard, “Your grandma spent all day making those cookies and if you don’t eat them, you will hurt her feelings”. So I would trudge off to college with a freezer bag of snicker doodles, and a cool whip container of her infamous Rodeo Spaghetti.

But my dad, as I said, was not blessed with the skill of cooking. As a matter of fact, when my parents got a divorce I thought I would have to move back home, for fear of my dad and brother starving to death. Instead I’d come home on break and find the cupboards brimming over with canned food; unfortunately it seemed that the store that he shopped at only sold four different kinds of food. You could either eat ravioli, spaghetti-o’s, tuna fish, or mandarin oranges. If you wanted something else, well you were on your own. Dad didn’t have a desire to eat it; there fore he didn’t have a desire to cook it.

Don’t get me wrong, my dad has given his most valiant effort at cooking. I remember sitting at the table when I was in elementary school eating some coleslaw that he had prepared. Actually I remember sitting at the table with my older brother, having an ongoing contest to see who could hold it in our mouths the longest. Apparently ¼ means a quarter of a cup of onions, not one to four onions. Our dog Sarge, who was either a Heinz 57 or a Bermuda rat, wouldn’t even touch it; this from the animal who fished from the ditch.

But, my dad seems to be aware of his culinary inabilities. I think that he even sees a little bit of himself in me. Too many times I’ve happily made meals from cold spaghetti, sardines with mustard, and have the sudden craving for Braunschweiger (smoked pork liver cold cut) topped with onion and mustard; not typically at the same time, although it has been know to happen. He also seems to think that because I share his stomach of steel, that I also share his culinary expertise. If the cooking gene skips a generation, and my older brother is a professional pastry chef, then I must not know how to cook. Although this is perhaps a plausible hypothesis, I think that a more accurate conclusion is that the culinary apathy has skipped a generation. I guess that it doesn’t really matter and basically my kids are screwed.

*tongue fart*

i'm procrastinating. i just spent two hours delivering pizzas with my roommate for JMC. two addresses didn't exist. we got two free pizzas....rock on. i have a stats project due at 8 tomorrow, i'm only half of the way done. i refuse to give a bulleted overview of my weekend. i am giving a fragmented, paragraph form overview of my weekend. i hate it when people do that.


cARLA AND i JUST HAD A FARTING CONTEST. i THINK THAT SHE WON THE SPEEDY CATEGORY, BUT i DEFINITELY WON FOR STAMINA. tHAT WAS A REALLY WEIRD THING THAT I JUST WROTE. tODAY i HAD CARLA ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING. liTERALLY ROLLING ON THE FLOOR, i'VE NEVER GOTTEN THAT REACTION BEFORE. i WAS EXPLAINING TO HER HOW i THOUGHT THAT PEOPLE SHOULD TALK LIKE THEY WRITE. yOU SHOULD CAPITALIZE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, AND BE SURE TO ADD ALL OF THE PUNCTUATION TOO. aT DINNER ON fRIDAY, THERE WAS A FRESHMAN IN THE DC WITH A VERY ANNOYING LAUGH. iT WAS VERY LOUD, AND SORT OF VULGAR. i DON'T THINK THAT GIRL SHOULD BE ALOUD TO HAVE A VOICE BOX. iT CAN ONLY BE EXPLAINED AS LAUGHTER EJACULATION, IT'S ONLY GOOD FOR HER. i TOLD MY ROOMMATES THAT DURING DINNER, cHRISSY ALMOST CHOKED ON HER FOOD; cARLA ALMOST HAD FOOD COME OUT OF HER NOSE; i BEGAN TO LAUGH IN A RIDICULOUS WAY. i HOPE SOMEONE MADE A COMMMENT ABOUT HOW i SOUNDED LIKE A SEIZING HORSE. i'M GOING TO REITERATE A PREVIOUS STATEMENT THAT i HAVE MADE, i WANT TO BE A COMEDIAN. bRETT, WHEN WE GO HOME ON tHURSDAY YOU SHOULD BE PREPARED. i AM GOING TO MAKE YOU LAUGH THE ENTIRE WAY, AND IF WE DON'T HAVE TO STOP AT LEAST ONCE BECAUSE YOU HAVE POOPED IN YOUR PANTS, i WILL BE ANGRY.


This is the second time today that I have updated my blog. I feel like I am returning to a previous addiction. I think that I kind of like it too. Carla is ignoring me right now....and she just gave me a very weird look because i am making a sort of funny monkey face in her general direction...don't worry carla i am not completely insane. I hope that it is freaking you out that i am staring at you while i type this. It would make me moderately happy if you jumped up from your chair right now and just yelled...." WHAT THE HELL!", OR HAD SOME OTHER SORT TO TURRETS MOMENT. BUT YOU ARE NOT. AND YOU ARE IGNORING ME. i SUPPOSE THAT tHIS IS MY CUE TO FINISH THIS BLOG AND DO MY HOMEWORK. yOU ARE LOOKING NOW, YOU SHOULDN'T READ THIS UNTIL i FINISH IT AND PUBLISH IT. bUT THAT'S OK. cAN YOU BE AN AXE MURDERER? fOR ME? i WOULD REALLY LIKE THAT. YOU TOOK A PICTURE OF ME WHILE i READ THIS TOO YOU. MAYBE NOW i WILL BECOME THE AXE MURDERER AND KILL YOU WITH A SPOON WHILE YOU SLEEP.

MY ONE HUNDREDTH POST

Today I decided that I like it when people have pictures on their blogs. Unfortunately I don't really have any very exciting pictures that were worthy of this discovery, so instead I decided to post a picture of this pole. It's interesting. I suppose that if you gaze at it with the right mindset, it can tell you the meaning of life. But then again I suppose that with the right mindset and mood altering drugs, anything can tell you the meaning of life. Right now I've figured out my purpose of life. It's taken me a while, but I think I have this case solved. My meaning of life is to study and get good grades. Too bad it's taken me so long to realize this. I wish that my purpose was far more exciting. Something like, perhaps saving orphaned rats in Malaysia. Or maybe, rescuing tree frogs from prairie dogs in the Midwest. But instead it's not, it's studying. And because it is so utterly boring, I have decided to protest. The other day at dinner I said a really dumb thing. I have decided that grogginess and the horrifying smell of the DC seem to have an adverse effect on me. I told my roommates about how lately I have wanted to know what it would be like to be hit in the face by an elephant trunk, not hit in the face by an elephant....but hit in the face by a man who is swinging and elephant trunk. I think it would feel a lot like being hit in the face by a fire hose. Of course I don't know what that feels like either, but I do think that it would hurt far worse than a trunk. Unless of course it was the kind of trunk that you carry close in on long journeys, then I think that would hurt far more. Ok now that everyone officially thinks that I'm insane, allow me to leave you with one final thought--oh never mind, I don’t have anything left.

humbugggggg

i have been neglecting my poor blog again, i think it is only because there is really nothing very exciting to talk about. i've mostly been preoccupied with how i should be preoccupied with exams and projects and all of that jazz. i've started to think a little bit about what i want to do this summer for my practicum. i want to work at a camp, somewhere new. with new philosophies, new programs, and a fresh perspective. there's a camp in camedon, ohio (near cinci) that looks like looking into. i had an interview with them last year, even though i didn't take the job i was told to keep them in mind if i ever wanted to work at a camp again. well guess what! I DO! i think i'm going to rummage through their website to find a contact address. i really hope they would be interested in taking me on. i hope i won't be too much of a bother with my stinkin practicum. in other news, i have no other news. i did just realize that i never posted about what happened over thanksgiving break. that's really sad because it is stinkin amazing! hmmm. nope nothing more to say. ok well i suppose i should finish my papers, and do the study guide that i told jess i would have done yesterday....that or take a nap. it's a toss up, we'll see which i do.

I think that boys say the strangest things.

"Holy crapola Batman, do you know how long it's been since i've done math?!" Aaron...aka Uno

"Jonathan, I want to have your children...but we'll have to adopt!"...Dave...aka...Dave

I really do heart Huckabees!

"I don't need to think, I just need to beat up bad guys"~Carla Sue

Carla and I just got back from the most amazingly bizarre movie that I have seen in a long time. I <3 Huckabees. It seems to be one of those movies that is just not fair to watch once. Kind of like Being John Malkavich, Adapatation, or Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. All amazing movies, but all need to be seen more than once to comprehend their true beauty. I think my favorite thing about the movie is that it cost $1, and we were very close to being the only people in the theatre....that always allows for an enjoyable movie viewing experience. I told Carla that over J-Term break, we are going to take a break from the typical Dime Store Romance Genre Movies we watch, and the utterly predictable and mind numbing comedies that we often somehow find intreguing...and watch a plethra of indie, foreign, and umm...i don't know what it would be classified as....art nevou? sure that works. I'm excited for this. I hope I get Amelie for christmas, if not that will be one of the movies we will be renting from the video store. I'm rather looking forward to it. Ok enough pleasentries.....I have a 10 page paper due tomorrow that I haven't really started, and if i'm going to have enough stamina to speed type it tomorrow....I'll need my sleep.

no title

it's very early in the morning, but for some reason i just don't want to go to bed. it's not like i have anything to do or anyone to talk to, i just don't feel like sleeping. i'm usually a big fan of daily hibernation, but today it just seems to be a waste. like i'll miss something. i don't know what though, i think that's what is currently annoying me. today seems to have been a waste of my time. i don't know why i allow myself to be stuck in days that are a waste of time. especially ones that are of my own doing. sometimes life feels like a waste of time. sleeping feels like a waste of time. sometimes breathing even feels like a waste of time. i don't understand why though. it's not as if these things are interfering with my daily agenda, far from it. it's more like these things are just meaningless endeavors that society has trained us to see as vital. i feel like pavlov's dogs. sometimes i try not to breathe. i feel like it's just pointless and i'll be fine without it. that always ends up with me getting a little light headed and gasping for a breath. i guess procrastination isn't something that can be done when it comes to vital bodily functions. think of how much more efficient it would be if i could just wait to pee until right before i died. Imagine all of the time that i would save in a year by not spending three minutes in the bathroom four times a day. that is perfectly wasted time that i could be using to watch TV or surf the net. Too bad though. i guess i'll just have to learn to accept my natural responsibilities and complete them on time; so i don't pass out or pee my pants or something

talk big or don't talk.

i have decided that if one more person asks me who i'm dating or who i'm interested in, i'm going to punch them right in the face.

in other news, i have no other news. THE END.

just to let you know....

i love the color red.

Joel 2:28

last night i had this weird sort of dream. it wasn't really a dream because i was still sort of awake. maybe it was a vision. i was a man and i was in jamaica sitting at a tall table at an outdoor cafe, with jason alexander. it was jason alexander, except he had hair. long hair, down to his shoulders, kind of frizzy and curly. i was talking with him and he was telling me where i could buy drugs. i don't know what kind of drug it was, but it was clear and came in a shot glass. it reminded me of glycerin. weird. i told my roommate about it shortly after i realized that i just had this crazy weird vision. she laughed and i'm sure she thinks that i'm crazy. today when i was watching tv, i saw a preview a christmas carol staring kelsey grammer and.....jason alexander. he plays marley, and was sporting some lovely shoulder length kind of frizzy curly hair. it rained all day today and i kind of liked it. my pants are wet.

kade's convo with my away message

kross: you said that you were napping
Auto response from jme:
Why oh, why oh, why oh, why did I ever leave Ohio..........oh yeah, to do lots of Homework in Indiana!!
kross: you said that you were napping
kross: now i see otherwise
kross: hmmmm
kross: liar
kross: in the old days i would point at you and say witch and they would burn you, be happy for i can't do that now, if i did that today people would point back and say man you be so crazy, that is some whack shit, or for sheezy my neezy or something i have't really mastered all this language stuff

I'll show you how to gleek.

I wonder if the way a relationship will turn out is predestined. If you can tell how things will be, by the way things first are. I wonder if I could know how my relationship with my older brother will be by looking at how it was when we were kids.

When I first came home from the hospital, Cory was my protector. He was my living shield from any would be kidnappers; anyone from well meaning priests to cheek-pinching-gift-giving relatives. I've been told about the time that Cory barricaded my bassinet with his three foot, 40 pound body and went into a near panic attack when my Uncle Joe came over. I wish I had a memory of that incident. I can just picture it.

Cory is standing in my parents bed room on his tip toes trying to peer over the edge of my bassinet. His pudgy three year old legs straining to be just one inch taller. Then off in the distance he hears it, my mother: "Oh! Sure, she's a wake. Come on you just have to see her, she looks just beautiful in that sleeper that you gave her", my mother trying to suck up to my aunt and uncle for the umpteenth time.

I can see Cory turning around and see mom come flouncing into the room with Joe on her heals and Teresa trailing behind carry 11 month old Nathan in her arms. To anyone over the age of three, it's just an annoying family visit. One that involves long boring talks, and cheek pinching. But to my new big brother, it is a troop of Nazi's storming the border with evil intentions. He must protect my honor, but he's three so what can he do? He can scream that's what he can do. And he does. He stands in front of the bassinet, and lets it rip. Hands clenched, face red, tears streaming down his face. Releasing a noise that can only be compared to the screech of a jungle beast. I wish I could have seen my mother's face. Utter shock, disappointment, and embarrassment. How could something that came from her body ever act like that?! Of course the sound would startle me awake, and because Cory was crying and I would be inevitably crying, Nathan would have to join in as well. Teresa would undoubtedly be disgusted that the wretches in the Barrett family had made her little baby cry, and they would leave; and in an unforeseen turn of events, Cory would be victorious.

However, in the years to come my protector would become my tormenter, and eventually my mentor. Years of "physical and psychological" unlike anything that a POW faced. But for just one day, for just one minute, Cory had been my hero.

I wonder if this is how we will be once again. Now that I have proved my loyalty by not hating him, and he has matured beyond the point of finding some sort of perverse pleasure in my pain. I wonder if now that we are adults, we will have the picture perfect relationship. Somehow I think not, but somehow I don't really want to. Picture perfect predictability is no fun. I'd much rather see who could withstand the longest Indian burn, or spit the farthest. I don't so much even mind a permanent bruise on my right shoulder. I wonder how my visit for thanksgiving will go. I hope it's like old times, only a little less painful.

Excerpt from "A Modest Proposal" by Johnathan Swift

"I have been assured by a very knowing american of my acquaintance in London, that the young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing and wholseome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or broiled".

one time a squirrel tried to steal my banana, don't worry i hit him in the face with a golf ball

tonight was a calm night. i like nights like that. i cleaned. there is just something about cleaning that i find so rejuvenating. hmm. carla's ......friend had a baby the other day. she named her adrieanna. i think that is an amazing name. i'm not really sure why i just typed that or why i'm thinking about that, but i am. hmmm... i got to talk to stitch and uno online tonight. that was good. haven't had a conversation with either of them in a week or so. my life is boring tonight. but it always is. oh well. i'm content. that's good. i'm excited about the future. that's really good. can't wait to graduate. can't wait to be at a camp. can't wait start my life. i feel like i type that a lot these days. but it's true. it is. hmm...well i guess that there is really nothing more that i want to talk about. hmm.. nope. but i thought that you should know that i said this in a conversation tonight: " because I'm evil and illegal and going to hell anyway.....so i might as well be really evil before i have to burn forever"......followed later on by....."i like to be evil and witty". interesting. well that's all ladies and gentlemen. let me just leave you with this last thought.....if a flock of sea gulls fly over head, don't look up to oogle them; they will poop in your eye.

foreign policy

kross: Yassar Arafat is dying
jmebarrett: i heard
kross: that is kinda sad
kross: in a foreign policy sense
jmebarrett: ok
jmebarrett: i don't really keep up on foreign policy
jmebarrett: which is kinda sad
jmebarrett: in a i'm-a -dumb-american-who-hoards-her-liberty-but-doesn't-really-give-a-crap sort of sense
kross: haha
kross: yah it is

sometimes i just need to listen to hard music really loud

i don't understand why people say what they do. it's good to know that if i'm ever seeking freedom of any kind, that i'm a sinful slut who is demon possessed and going to hell. good to know. i get so sick and tired of people copping out when they try to help others. i'm so tired of people standing in front of me, pointing out everything that is wrong, and not giving me an ounce of help. yeah that's a good plan. i'm just going to stand at the top of the well that the little baby fell into, and point out every wrong move he made that landed him there, but i'm not going to throw him a rope or call for help. no. he's at the bottom of that well, well golly he just needs to trust in jesus more! that will fix everything! oh and you have a good time rotting down there! see ya in hell! i'm so annoyed. it's good to know that i spend 23 thousand dollars a year to hear this kind of advice. i'm tired of christians being fake. i'm tired of sunday school answers and women of faith praise songs. i'm tired of it all. sometimes i just want to get away. to find it on my own. to take my time to see what is out there. oh wait, that's seeking freedom. no i will fail. that's right i forgot. i guess someone just needs to rebuke my demons, so i can watch the pigs fall off of the cliff. damn.

hair

i like it when my hair is wet.
it has this smooth, natural disheveled look.
i feel clean.
it reminds me of the thousands of laps that i have swam,
of raft wars in em's pond,
of mud fights in the lake,
of flipping canoes,
of fishing,
of the ditch club,
of hikes in the woods,
of walks in the rain,
of squirt gun fights,
of long bus rides,
of tardy slips and detention,
of lake weatherwood,
of mosquito bites and midnight swims,
of before.
i feel clean.
it has this smooth, natural disheveled look.
i like it when my hair is wet.

ample opportunity for personal improvement

i have rediscovered the joy of the public library! no where else in society can you find an organization that is so willing to trust a dumb college student. they willingly give you a card so that you can borrow their things! amazing. i think that i will be watching a lot more free movies. and reading free books. and listening to free cds. amazing.

for kade:

KROSS: i want to win the nobel prize
JME:ok
KROSS: would you like me better if i won a nobel prize?
JME: i suppose
JME: but only because with the prize would probably come lots of fame and money
JME: i could use some money
JME: so i would be friends with you for your money
KROSS: i have to decide what i am going to do
JME: you are going to develop an alternate fuel source for homes......like natural nature gas...aka farts...a fart powered home! everyone could afford that....and the need for beans would multiply exponentially
KROSS: ok see this what i was thinking for getting it. I call the CIA and say I know where osama is. they take me in, and i say show me a map of the world. i pick three
JME: sounds a little risky
KROSS: have you got anything better
JME: well maybe you could go to the CIA and tell them that North Korea actually has nuclear warheads, and that they should raid them.....and when they do and discover that there are warheads, and that they had a plan to use them to eradicate russia....more specifically betlanistan..... as a scare tactic. and that they had found a way to resurrect Hitler who they were going to force to be their leader. and that their plan was completely plausible.....then you would win the nobel peace prize, because you stopped it all from happening
KROSS: gotcha

The Reformation Polka

Only Protestants could & would commemorate Martin Luther to the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"! AMAZING!


When I was just ein junger Mann I studied canon law;
While Erfurt was a challenge, it was just to please my Pa.
Then came the storm, the lightning struck, I called upon Saint Anne,
I shaved my head, I took my vows, an Augustinian! Oh...

Chorus:
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation
Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a Reformation!
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

When Tetzel came near Wittenberg, St. Peter's profits soared,
I wrote a little notice for the All Saints' Bull'tin board:
"You cannot purchase merits, for we're justified by grace!
Here's 95 more reasons, Brother Tetzel, in your face!" Oh...

Chorus:
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation
Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a Reformation!
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

They loved my tracts, adored my wit, all were exempleror;
The Pope, however, hauled me up before the Emperor.
"Are these your books? Do you recant?" King Charles did demand,
"I will not change my Diet, Sir, God help me here I stand!" Oh...

Chorus:
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation -
Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a Reformation!
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

Duke Frederick took the Wise approach, responding to my words,
By knighting "George" as hostage in the Kingdom of the Birds.
Use Brother Martin's model if the languages you seek,
Stay locked inside a castle with your Hebrew and your Greek! Oh...

Chorus:
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation -
Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a Reformation!
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

Let's raise our steins and Concord Books while gathered in this place,
And spread the word that 'catholic' is spelled with lower case;
The Word remains unfettered when the Spirit gets his chance,
So come on, Katy, drop your lute, and join us in our dance! Oh...

Chorus:
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation -
Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a Reformation!
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!


(copied from Broadcasting LIfe)

magnification

culture. that's something that i've been thinking about lately. as terrible as this might sound, and as narcissistic as you might think me: my thoughts have completely excluded other's culture. i haven't even been thinking about my culture either! but rather, if i'm 'cultured'. i feel like because i'm in college (or at least because i'm in my twenties) i need to be some sort of coffee drinking, finger snapping, poetic type who has an opinion on everything. someone who is well versed in the arts, and politics. someone whose life goal is to merely flaunt my intellectual aptitude, and do so in a creative cynical way. i don't really see myself falling into this narrow stereotype that i have somehow created. unfortunately, i do see myself becoming more like my stereotype. my likes are changing. i no longer find (much) joy in cartoons...although i do devote some of my time to PBS cartoons, but i'd rather watch that then dr. phil, or smutty soap operas. i've discovered that i like documentaries. i like sheakspeare. i'm not a fan of forced humor. saturday night live and predictable comedies just don't do anything for me. i listen to Big Band rather then punk. the jazzy/big band stylings of Nellie McKay are music to my ear. visual arts like photography and theatre are becoming more amazing with each passing day. i find a thrill in hiking through a muddy woods to snap that perfect shot. i find my opinions to be stronger than ever before. i find my cynicism level increasing. i'm finally seeing that the world is not perfect, and there is something that i can do to change it. coffee is my friend. coffee houses are my friend. i don't ever see myself truly becoming that stereotype that i have created. i don't know that public forums, where we discuss the economic status of zimbabwe, will ever peak my interest. i don't think that i'll be getting into any political debates: whether global, national, or campus wide. i can't really snap my fingers, so i know i won't fit into the "Java" house poetry scene. and i'm kind of glad. i think i like the new way that my interests are going. i don't think that i'll ever be 'cultured' according to city folk standards...but as for rural ohio--i think i have most of my compatriots beat. and i think that is ok. i think i'm finding me. finding what i like, because i like it and not because that is what the general population has deemed as enjoyable. i'm ready to be an adult. i'm 21 and for the first time in my life, i think that i'm ready to act my age. immaturity is not something that i want to strive for anymore. i don't want people to remember me as "the stinkin' college student who is loud and obnoxious and has regard for respect". i want people to look at me and think: "there's something different about that one....i wonder what it is". i've had to take a closer look at myself to see who i am, i really hope that more people will take the time to do the same thing. i'm pretty sick of people making snap judgements on me because i maybe kind of remind them of someone they once knew. i want to be new to everyone. i want people to take time to meet me. i want to do the same thing with other people. i don't always do that. i clearly have stereotypes that i think someone should fall into, but i don't want to rely on that anymore. i think tomorrow i want to meet someone new. someone i have never ever met before. and talk to them. i want to take a closer look at that person i have judged, and see them for who they really are. i think that's how real friendships happen. well, i guess this is getting really long. not that anyone will read my tiny corner of cyber space, but in the off chance that someone decided to stick through to the end of this post: Hi, I'm Jamie...and I'm going to be taking a closer look. How are you?

broke

i broke my glasses today. at first i thought it amusing, now i just think it an evil twist of fate. i found out the my eye insurance won't come into effect until january, and even then it will cost me over $150 to get a new pair. i don't think that my contacts will last me that long. to top it off i have approximately $50 in my bank account. that isn't enough for gas home and back, let alone to buy a new stock of contacts. i don't know what to do. i wish a work study job would become available on campus, and i could work here like they promised in may. dumb college. i hate the administration here. i swear they walk around all day with their heads up their butts. it drives me nutts. i think that they just like to screw with people. "let's promise them the world and instead give them purgatory!". Dumb. i have paper due at 6. it's supposed to be 5-7 pages. i haven't really started it yet. i don't want to write it. i don't like that class. i don't really like the people in the class. i don't like that i have no motivation for that class. i wish i was more excited about it. this is my minor after all! oh well, the information that i learn will be helpfull is suppose, and in three semesters i will never ever have to talk to them again, and if the ever apply to one of my camps, i just might not hire them because i don't feel like it. i used alot of comas in that sentence and i'm sure that it is driving you english freaks crazy! but that's ok because i typed it the way i thought it in my head, and that's the way i thought it, as one long, long, run on sentence that just kept going on and on, and never stopped because it was a long run on sentence and that is what run on sentences do, because it is their job or something like that, or i suppose that's what they do atleast. ok i guess that is enough for now. less talk more do. so i'm going to type my paper. then i'm going to go job hunting. i think i'll just hit up places like walmart and k-mart, i think big lots was hireing. although if i got a job at walmart i could get an employee discount or something like that, and then i could get that laptop that they had there for a really good price, and i could put it in lay away, and then i could buy it with the money that i make there and the discount that i could maybe get there and then i would keep the lap top and give my desk top to my dad, because his computer sucks and he bought my desk top anyway. and it's a good computer i like it alot, don't think that i hate you desk top because i don't i just think that a laptop would be more moble and more practicle and i would really like one. but i think that before i did that i would save money so that i could buy new glasses because i like glasses alot better because they are easier to put on and i have never quite gotten used to seeing my face without glasses on, so my self-esteem would be better if i had glasses. but i don't think that i will get big blak plastic frames this time, maybe some small metal ones. yes that sounds much better. ok so i'm done and i think i will get on line and see what kind of lap tops that walmart has instead of writting my paper that is due at 6.

Time

It's a lazy Sunday in October. But not just any day in October...the last day of October. It seems crazy to think that tomorrow is the first of November. Where did this semester go? It feels like I just moved in yesterday, like camp just finished two days ago. Like I just graduated from High School last week. Crazy how time continues on when we try everything in our power to stop it. Sometimes I think that our society is too concerned with stopping time, or even worse, turning it back. There seem to be so many opportunities to change who you are, to be a better-younger you. It's seems like craziness to me. But I guess that if I really think hard about it, I suppose that I spend a large portion of my life trying to fight time. I don't really know how I do though, I suppose mostly through denial. But maybe someday I will take a pro-active approach, and go to a Clock repair shop with a baseball bat and beat the crap out of time. Then I would be the ultimate warrior, and time would never wreck havoc on me again!....Okay so maybe what would really happen is this: I would walk into the clock shop and start whomping on those manky cuckoo clocks, until a bulbous looking store clerk came over and asked me if I would like some help. He of course would simply be running interference for the police who would storm in with their night sticks and laughing gas and hull me away to prison where I would sit and rot for fifty years. And time would stand still, and nothing would change and I would live in my cement cell until I turned 71 and died, and I would have truly conquered time. From now on you can just call me "Jamie, The ULTIMATE TIME WARRIOR!....GRRR!".

Ding Dong by Nellie McKay

my cat died and I quickly poured myself some gin
did she die from old age or was it for my sins
god I loved her oh so much
miss her little kitty touch
does she miss me does she care
oh I miss her kitty stare
do you have a little time
would you like to ease my mind
talk for hours and never stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person nicer
but you've heard it all before

(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell hello man in white
he's gonna make you all well
getcha through the night
but hey now
you don't feel better
as you take your fresh bromide
maybe this man of letters lied

let me tell you 'bout a dream I had the other night
you were in it boy you sure gave me a super fright
I was walking down the street
downtown by the DMV
you popped out behind a door
it was odd you were on all fours
do you have some time to spare
you were barking at a bear
it said hey you'd better stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person
nicer
but you've heard it all before

(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell
hello man in red
he's gonna make you all well
getcha into bed
but hey now
you don't feel better
as you wake and slowly rise
maybe this smooth jet-setter lied

(instrumental break)

stick around one minute more
I'm smarter than you think
do I sound like an old bore
oh man it's just the drink
I didn't always hit the gin
there were times when I fit in
they'll never know how much I tried
did I tell you my cat died
do you have a little time
would you like to feel sublime
run away and never stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person
nicer
but you've heard it all before

(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell
hello man in black
he's gonna make you all well
there's no going back
but hey now you don't feel better
as you drift off in the tide
maybe this jack the ripper lied
and you died

i was watching tv the other day, and there was this scene where a kid was sitting out window just thinking. that's when it hit me....i don't think that i ever really think! i'm not talking about common sense kind of stuff, or learning crap....but i mean actually thinking. like sitting down and thinking through a problem, or thinking about a relationship. i think when crap happens i just sit and try to forget. i don't want to have to spend time thinking about all of the crap that goes on in my life when i have to live through it. that, and i've been told that i make a funny face when i think. people always ask me if i'm ok, hmm...more reasons not to think. Okay moving onto bigger and better things...um...ok maybe not bigger or better, just moving on. i can't believe it's friday. it feels like it should be tuesday. it's crazy how fast this week went, and i'm glad. i think i'm getting sick. this makes me very sad. i'm pretty darn tired of being sick. i had my advising meeting for classes next semester....i'll have to say i'm pretty excited about some of the classes that i get to take. outdoor recreation and campcraft...recreational sports...first aid & emergency procedures....oh the life of a rec major! i really wish that it was thanksgiving. i think i'm going to skip out on going home, and go visit my brother instead. we were going to go to chicago for the weekend, but dumb, he has to work on friday and saturday. who's going to want to go to a fancy restaurant for thanksgiving weekend? NO ONE! people want to eat pumpkin pie for thanksgiving....not french pastries! they shouldn't need the executive pastry chef that weekend. but oh well the do. guess i'll just go up there and visit him, and force him to make me amazing food!!!! ok this entry is dumb and trivial, and the most asinine thing that i have typed in a long time.

sigh.

fall is my favorite season. and i think that cold rainy days are my favorite. today was just a good day. i didn't do anything. but it was one of the best days that i have had lately. this weather is just so invigorating. there is just something about colored trees, and a crisp breeze that puts a bounce in my step. i wish that the weather would stay like this forever. even the rain is encouraging. i don't know why, but somehow....it just makes me feel....happy, good, better....content!

i wish it was magically.....

i wish that it was magically friday.....that would mean that this week would be over.
i wish that it was magically thanksgiving....that would mean that i could spend some time with cory.
i wish that it was magically december....then this semester would be over.
i wish that it was magically may....then i would be working at a camp.
i wish that it was magically december 06.....then i would be done with school.
i wish that it was magically 10 years from now....then my life would be underway, and i wouldn't have to be living in a constant state of expectation.
i wish that it was magically 2035....then i could be almost maybe close to possibly thinking about retiring...and going on a world tour.
i wish that it was magically forever....then i would be....be....be...

ugh.
i want to throw up.
i want to punch myself.
i want to be not so dumb.
i wan to go home.
i want to sleep.
i want to not be here.
i want to throw up.
ugh
i want to hit myself.
i want to run away.
i want to never be responsible again.
i want to never be irresponsible again.
i want to hit myself.
ugh
i want to disappear.
i want to hide.
i want to flee.
i want to sink in a hole.
i want to disappear
ugh

 

is it bad when you have to schedule time to breathe?

i'm very excited. i finally ordered a griffin house cd. i've been wanting one for a while now....although i did not get to see him live in concert for my birthday, perhaps some how this will make up for that. i'm ready for fall break...but i don't think tha ti t will be much of a break. i think that i might be going to detroit with dad, to visit cory..that is if he ever calls me back. i have a "chinese dinner date" with kade...there is a bonfire on saturday night, i'll go if i am not in michigan, sunday is college "bible study" not the most amazing lessons, but the fellowship will be nice. hopefully eileen can cut my hair this weekend, that would make me a very happy girl. i think i'm going to get in contact with julie and schedule a meeting for monday or tuesday, if possible, for an interview for a school project. i should probably spend some time with my mom....and maybe i'll take eric out for a movie date, and some steak and shake for a little sibling bonding. i'll be back on tuesday...classes wednesday, set up for fall fest on thursday....fall fest on thurday...possibly power house on friday...i think that there may have been something that i forgot. hmmm...oh yeah my needs project is due friday. crazy week. i think that next weekend will be my real "fall break".....can't wait for this half of the semester to be over!....then i can get a job!

i'm going to catch a dodo bird...

ewe. being a grown up is not for me...
a ewe is a large sheep like thing with big horns...
i played a horn in marching band...
it made me laugh when the pizza marched on the stage...
Papa John's....i loath thee...
oh how i love thee...let me count the ways...
at the count of 153 i'm getting up...
on top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese...
why do we relate food to how we feel about something...you're corny, he's a big ham..
mmmm...hawaiian pizza...
Papa Johns....i loath thee...
much ado about nothing...
fabulous...
where are they...
boredom...
loneliness...
loathing...
Oh how i loath thee papa johns...
mmm garlic bread...
free cold plates, are amazing...
the mutated fox makes me laugh...
Yahoo!...
when will super man IM me...
ANGRY FACE!...
papa johns...i loath thee!

Quotable Quotes

"If you're feeling a little depressed, just realize that everyone else in the room is attracted to you!"~Dr. Smith on Newton's law of Universal Gravitation.

MXPX vs. Adulthood.........Adulthood wins.

i think that today just might be my most hectic day of the semester....i'm not really looking forward to it. i woke up at 6 and won't go to bed until1:30ish. good news though i do get a half hour lunch break....aw crap i forgot to schedule time for dinner. hmm. i guess it's bolognia sandwiches again for me tonight. oh well. maybe i'll have time to do laundry today.....i had better, or no one will want to be around me tonight at power house. crap i have a paper due at 8 and it's 7:07. so i'm going to go read the article so i can spit it out and get dressed so i can be on time for my 8 o'clock. ewe.

Michindoh....oh how i miss thee.

blue monkeys, and purple oranges.

it's almost ten am. i'm going to take a nap. is it a nap if your roommate is hasn't even gotten out of bed yet? i'm stressed. i think that my hair will fall out in clumps. i think i will pull my hair out in clumps. shhhhh keyboard be quiet, you will wake up the roommate. shhh roommate be quiet you too will wake up the roommate. shhhh brain be quiet, you are making me go crazy. i'm stessed. i think i will shoot myself in the foot. my eyes are heavy. i am going to take my nap. i'm glad there is no chapel today, it bugged me yesterday. i'm stressed. i think i will sleep my life away. then i will never have to deal with any responsibilities. MXPX said it best: "Responsibiblity, what's that....Responsibility not quite yet". how much longer can i say not quite yet for? i think for only an hour or so, roommate why are you back? you are supposed to be in class. shhhhh you will wake up the roommate. i think i need to listen to a little MXPX. it's been a while. it's nostalgic. i'm going to bed. i'm not crazy, don't worry, and don't make me take the blue pill. i'll be fine. note to self...go to bed.

boom.

i think i might shoot myself in the foot. yes that sounds like fun

on and on and on and on and on and on

it's friday! that is an exciting thing, even though i'm not planning on doing anything this weekend. well actually i guess i am. i'm looking forward to working at the PERC tomorrow with the kids whose parents are up for homecoming. that'll be relaxing. i love playing with kids. it's been too long since i have got go be goofy. davis hall is tomorrow too! i' m excited about that too. nothing like seeing all of my crazy peers, begin crazy! there showing terminal in front of the HUB tomorrow too! i'm excited. that movie sounds good. yay for weekends when i get to do things that i enjoy. it's been a while since i've had the opportunity.

raspberry

stress.

don't ever walk in front of an elephant during allergy season. and never walk behind an elephant during intestinal disorder season.

my throat hurts. i don't like it. i just realized that i have an exam tomorrow. and then i realized that it's midnight. looks like it'll be a late night.

i think that it would be amazing to be a stand up comedian. i don't think that i'm funny enough though. tonight my roommate told me that i'm funny. but i think that in order to make a living out of it, i'd have to believe that i was funny. oh well i guess i'll just stick to this school thing. which might not go too well if i don't get to studying.

yesterday my friend kade asked me where i get my quotes for my away messages. i was delightfully surprised to discover that someone enjoyed them, and i think that he was delightfully surprised to discover that i came up with them. today i was delightfully surprised to discover that he had put one into his profile. i think it has been a week full of delightful surprises.

i made a new friend today. his name is buddy, i met him at walmart. i found him to be utterly enchanting. i brought him home with me. now he lives in my room. he makes me happy, i think that he will be one addition to our apartment that my roommates will tolerate. you should come visit him. and me too. you, yes you that's who i'm talking too. no there is no one behind you. i'm talking to you . you should come visit me.

my current thought from yesterday.....it is still a thought for today. although our phone rang tonight. it was not for me. it's never for me. oh well, i think i'll just become a hermit, and live in a cave in the woods. that way i can make friends with all of the woodland creatures before i shoot them and skin them and make them in to a lovely stew.

mmmm, stew. i had stew for dinner. it wasn't woodland creature stew, but it was equally delightful. it's still midnight. i wish i could roll back time. i find it more thrilling to write in fragments. it really adds to the feel of the page. it makes it more me.

i feel melodramatic right now. today i said that the food in the hub was monochromatic. carla didn't think that was the word i wanted to use. but it was. and the food was monochromatic. it was all brown. pretty boring. the entire environment was monochromatic today. even the people there. it was boring. my life is boring. but boring is stable and i like stability.

i went to a stable this summer. the horse was really big. it's feet were bigger than my face. all i could think about was how bad it would be if that horse decided to step on me. or sit on me. or crap on me. that would suck. mmmmm.....warm road apple pie.

i think i'm in need of psychiatric help. it's a good thing that both of my roommates are psych majors. otherwise other peolple would have to listen to me. they would think that i'm crazy.

kari visited today. it was really good to see her. i'm glad she's doing well. i miss fish feet.

this is a long blog.

i feel melodramatic. but that's ok. everybody has their days. i feel like i'm getting sick. not just physically but psychologically too. i wonder if you can get a psychological virus. i think so. i'm tired of being irritated. today was better.

i slept along time last night. but not tonight.

i can't go to michigan this weekend. i'm really sad about that. i was really looking forward to seeing cory and listening to griffin house. oh well. maybe some other time. cory needs to call me. cory if you are reading this: call me.

my birthday is on sunday. i turn 21. i go to a monochromatic christian liberal arts college. i don't have any money. my roommates are leaving this weekend. my family is a 186,000 light years away. i think i'll be spending it by myself watching extreme makeover: home edition (the 2 hour premier) and studying for a rec exam. welcome to adulthood.

i sound emo. maybe i am. this is a really long post. i don't know why i'm typing it here. all of huntington college campus will read it and think i'm depressed, and think i'm going to commit suicide, and send me to the nurse to a get a magic cure all blue pill that works for everything, but doesn't actually work for anything. oh well. no one knows who i am anyway. i think i like things like that. but that only adds to the one dimensional plane that is my life.

i want it to snow. i like the snow.

closure

i just realized that i don't have a life. and then i realized that i'm really ok with that.

i just realized that i'm probably going to fail my physics exam. and then i realized i'm really not ok with that.

i just realized that this blog is a frivolous waste of time. and then i realized that i'm glad.

i just realized i haven't gotten a job yet. and then i realized i really need to.

i just realized my roommates are amazing. and then i realized that i already new that.

i just realized that memories are amazing. and then i realized that sometimes they're not

i just realized that i'm more immature than even i thought. and then i realized that i'm more mature than even i thought.

i just realized that i almost had two panic attacks this week. and then i realized it's only tuesday.

i just realized that i'm stressed. and then i realized that would explain the panic attacks.

i just realized that i might be crazy. and then i realized that i don't know how i feel about that.

i just realized that i've never really realized anything before. and then i realized that i don't know what that means.

hey i just found a pack of gum under my desk!

emily got married this weekend. so weird. i never thought that i would feel like a grown up, but this weekend sure helped in opening my eyes. my best friend is married! i think that is the epitome of being a grown up. it was so weird to see her with her new husband, and even stranger to say it. the wedding was beautiful, it was surrounded around their love for God first, and i would expect nothing less. i saw some people that i haven't seen in years. the tori's were there. valerie is a senior this year. i used to babysit her. i never thought that i would ever say that i used to baby sit an adult....but i very nearly can. and marco and davie are so big now. gosh. the shriver kids! goodness! i didn't even recognize them! and little katherine zellers, she's got to be nearly nine. i babysat her before she could even walk. so weird. sunday is my birthday. i turn 21. i never thought i would be alive till the age 21. i don't know why. i've never been able to see myself as an adult. never been able to picture myself with a career, with a husband, with a family. i wonder why? the way things are going......i think i'm a psychic. hmmm 21. that seems so old. i never thought i'd be this old. i think i thought that when in turned 12. and 16. and 18. i'll probably think that when i turn 42. i think that for the first time ever it's dawning on me that this is my life. that i'm not practicing for something yet to come. but i'm living it. when i think of things that way it's a little depressing. i've done so little in the 21 years i've been allowed to be on this earth. i think i want to do something about that. yeah i'm pretty sure i do. but what? i don't know. probably nothing. or maybe something. i can't believe emily is married! she's on her honeymoon right now. i can't picture myself ever being on a honeymoon. sometimes i wonder why people get married in the first place. it just seems like the reasons are, petty. maybe that's because i've never felt like that for anyone one. you know that love thing. i don't know if i'll ever get married. i definitely won't right now, i'm clearly not ready. i heard someone say that he thought that he might be a modern day paul, and never get married. i think that i might be a "pauline". at this point....well it just seems like there is no point. i think i've heard that line before...oh yeah, crazy guitar prof guy said that a lot. well crazy guitar prof guy i think that you may have something there. i think that this is the longest entry that i have made in a long time. if you make it to this line i'll give you twenty-five thousand dollars. no i won't. i just wanted to make you think that you haven't wasted the last five minutes of your time. i know i have. i think i sound whiney and self-loathing. i'm not. i just wanted you to know that too. hey aaron just got online. maybe i'll go talk to him. i wonder how tangent is. i hope he and his brother made it through the hurricane alright. keep him in your prayers. i hope john is ok. one last piece of advice before i go boy's and girls: never run with scissors. but if you do, run really fast with the ends pointing up. cause if your going to go....might as well make it interesting.

i had an interesting epiphany.

Concerning Ivan....

if it begins to lightning, be sure that you don't stand outside grasping a flag pole, wearing nothing but a medieval suite of armor.

pumba?.....the shoe or the farting pig....

so you know that song from the lion king? circle of life?

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life

well recently i guess i've been noticing how live really is a circle. now although i don't completely, or doctrinally agree with the song, i think that it does potentially have some truth to it. it seems like i'm begining to relive my life over again. things that have happened once are beginning to happen again. perhaps it should be a "once shame on them.....twice shame on me", sort of thing. but it seems like so much more than that......like perhaps my entire life has just been a preparation for what is to come, and now things are coming. i seem to know how to handle new issues as they come my way....or maybe that just growing up, becoming a mature adult. hmm, that's something to ponder isn't it? growing up i mean. we spend our entire lives preparing to grow up.....we spend our child hood learning how to cope with Jr. High. We spend Jr. High learning how to cope with High School. High School trains us for College, college for "the real world". and "the real world" is our opportunity to prepare for retirement. and retirement is our time for what? our time to finally take the chance to play? to act like a kid? except by then i'll probably be too old an decrepit to to walk five steps let alone skip. i think it's pretty twisted the way that our socitey has decided to classify our lives. how they want us to be children so that we can "play" as a way to prepare ourselves for adult hood. and they want us as adults to "play" as a way to destress. pretty crazy how the world turns isn't it. i think that sometimes i type, and type, and type and the only thing interesting that comes out of my fingers, is what can be interpreted by psychologist and psychoanalyst who probably just think that i'm a nut case anyway right? hmmm.....i think....i think that.....

one more day....

one more day till my liberation....one more day till my independence....one more day till my imprisonment.

7 years.......norah jones

Spinning, laughing, dancing to
Her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong
Is all alone

Eyes wide open
Always hoping for the sun
And she'll sing her song to anyone
That comes along

Fragile as a leaf in autumn
Just fallin' to the ground
Without a sound

Crooked little smile on her face
Tells a tale of grace
That's all her own

Spinning, laughing, dancing to her
Favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong
And she's all alone

nothing but monkey business

so i think that for the first time in my life i understand the phrase, "working for the clock". never in my life have i had a job where so much of your mind is occupied by the time.  i'm not saying that i have a job that is completely dictated by time management......no no no far from it.  rather i'm saying that my new job is factory work.  and i have never in my life been in an environment that seems so reminiscent of a cattle farm, managed not by a farm hand..........but by a mechanical time clock!   it's amazing to just watch the other employees.  they check the clock every five minutes to see how long to lunch:.......2 hrs.....1 1/2 hrs......1 hr.....10 minutes.   the check the clock to see how long till the shift is over....for when to clock in.....when to clock out.  and then, when  the clock finally gives permission to leave, it's like someone's holding a cattle prod to our butts as we RUN for the door.  the past two days have opened my eyes.  i don't want to live for my job. it feels like all i do is sleep and work.  because i work the afternoon shift i don't have time for my friends, i don't have time for family.....i can't imagine ever making this a career.  i've once heard it said that, and i quote: "a monkey could do this job!".  and it is so true.  i don't think that there is really anything more intellectually demeaning than factory work.  we are being paid to do what in other  parts of the country machines are doing.  machines without a brain, without feelings, and without pride.  yet we are expected to fulfill the job requirements with just as much speed and efficiency as it.  i've always been told that working in a factory would make me thankful for my education, and i thought that was probably just a bunch of malarky.....but it really is true.  just as corny and expected as it is.....working in a factory truly has made me thankful for the brief amount of education that i have so far been privileged enough to take on.  i will say this though........i think that those who choose to make factory life their career, really do deserve a lot of credit.  it takes a strong demeanor and a strong back to do something like that......a strength that i don't know that i can keep for much longer.

mmmmmm, warm road apple pie

HOLY CRAP IT'S TUESDAY!

ultra strength endurance for ultra strength B.O.

things are going......nice and slow just the way i like it!  i think that sometimes is wish that i could just fast forward my life....skip all of this boring mundane crap that i currently find myself struggling to stay afloat in.......hmmm i wonder if you can float in crap......to just skip ahead and leave it all behind.  to get on with the things that i want to do rather than just enduring it. but i suppose that i learn more things by enduring than i would through fast-forwarding.  oh well until the day that they invent the technology or the wishing dust like in 13 going on 30...i'll just endure.  i think that's what i'm suppose to do anyway. besides i don't really know what the carp i'm blubbering about. things aren't so bad, perhaps a little boring, but not bad.   i just need to get the things done taht need to be done........oh on a happier note:  I went to the doctor and got medicine for my ear ache!  now don't you just feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of your shoulders?  it's still on my ear though...but fear not hopefully after 10 drops a day for 7 days i will be able to hear normally again!  yay for doctor's!

tangles

i had my hair cut today.....i don't think that there is anything greater than getting 3 inches wamped off of your head in the middle of the summer.  i feel like a whole new person.  i wonder why i find so much excitement in a new hair cut.  i guess i really truly do live a simple life....but you know what i like it!  i don't care what society says about needing to be constantly busy, or it's extreme fascination with continuely being on the move or progressing in life.  i like to sit down and be bored.  i like be entertained by nothing but a dog and the company of a good friend.  i like that i live in a small town where the cops can have enough time to look for lost dogs, and even give a crap about it!  i like the fact that tonight i'm going to visit with friends.....spend no money......not gain any social recognition or achievement.....and still some how be a better person for it. i think that instead of society be continually obsessed with where we are going and where we have been, it should take a closer look at where it is; who it is comprised of; and what makes us so special.  do you know the 6 smiles of your closest friend? or are you to busy in life that the details become a blurr and true relationships become nothing but an inconvenience?  sometimes i think that i don't pay enough attention to the details, or that i don't live a simple life.....and then something happens.....then i get a hair cut and remember how truly satisfying it is to be completely content with the fact that the most exciting thing right now is a breeze on my neck and friends by my side.

grrrr!

i just typed an amazingly long and complicated blog entitled 'simplicity...simplicity...simplicity!' ....but it deleated it. so you get this instead!

back again.....but ready for more!

what an AMAZING summer! i think that this summer has been so much more than i ever expected. my girls were absolutely amazing and i feel such a tug for jr. highers, like i never knew possible. i learned so much about my own strengths and weakness from every camper that passed through Michindoh......in other words it was amazing. here are a few highlights from this summer:

* the magic ant from planet zoloft.
* Sandra Manilla.....I mean Vanilla!
* if forest falls out of a tree, will anyone hear?
* SOMBRERO!
* now i know what poop feels like!
* did you know that escargot is snail?!
* did you know that a magnum is a gun?
* FARSE!
* my right butt cheek is separated form my left by a crack
* i feel like a baked potato!
* if AFLAC is a sea monkey, i'll be her baby sea monkey!
* HI HO HI HO it's off to dinner we go, with Mother Goose and a Sea Monkey....HI HO HI HO HI HO HI HO.......
* does Hitchcock have brain problems or is that just the way she is?
* i like to jump on my bosom!
* i feel like a marshmallow!
* HA! HA! You got served!
* your face got served!.....your mom's face got served!
* RUN! Core Staff is coming!
* Romans 16:19 says! Romans 16:19 says!
* AAHHH it burns! IT BURNS!
* there's no flippy thing!
* Senor Ted Kazinski the Postal employee!
* "Excuse me, do you know what a mail box is?"
* Her royal highness Princess FoFo!
* beaner shark do do dootdo do do.....
* let's throw Jesus out the window.....the window, the window, the second story window...
P.S......BTW...JK JK....LOL!

C-razyness!

i can hardly believe that it is June already. and not only is it june, but it is june eleventh! crazy! it just seems like this past month has flown by! i'm not usually a big fan of day to day stuff on blogs, but in this case i think that it is called for! so i have technically been here at michindoh for nearly a month now. some how i survived my two weeks of outdoor ed as a cabin leader and a teacher. i don't know if my campers learned anything from me while they were here, but i sure learned a lot about them.

after OE had finished i went on a little road trip with sandra, or should i say Saca.... and it was completely amazing! we went to PA, a first for me, had Jr. mints, also another first. and had sunday dinner from KFC, and yet again a first. Even though we were in the car for hours and we were actually only in PA for maybe an hour.....it was definitely the best road trip so far, and i'm so glad that i went.

so that pretty much brings me up to date. i'm back at michindoh and busy with staff training...and completely excited about the kids coming! i'm so gald that i came back again this year. The staff is amazing and i know that God is going to work in extrodinary ways this summer.

oh......on another note.....i found out that i will not be able to work maintence after camp is over, so as of July 3rd, i am unemployed and basically homeless. so if you know of any camps who are hiring counselors for the end of the summer or if you just want to give me some money.....let me know. ditto_that@hotmail.com

I can't believe that this semester is drawing to a close. It seems like just days ago that I was unloading my my car and moving into a room that hadn't been lived in for weeks. Like just yesterday that I was starting my first day of classes. And now it's over. My (first semester) of my sophomore year is over. I've learned a little, I've lived a little, I've loved a little, and I've lost a little. All in All I think that this has been an experience un like one that I will ever have again.

I experienced the Joy and Frustration of working with the Ladies in Financial aid. I took a peak into the mind of Dr. Woodruff--and ran for the hills screaming. I have started and renewed friendships that will hopefully continue to grow and prosper. I've argued with Jesse Brown over Forester Village more times than I would like to admit. I've studied lots, and studied not quite enough. I've been an el-ed major, a youth ministries major, a YM and Recreation management DOUBLE major, and finally just a plain old Rec Management major (not all in one semester but pretty close).

Who knows what this summer will fully hold...I just know that I will get to minister to kids, to play with them, and to love them. However God chooses to unfold this summer will be just as exciting of an adventure as the last twelve months have.

Next year I'm hoping and praying for a little more stability, a little more assurance, a LOT more organization, and a little more focus. Well I doubt that I'll be adding anything to this for a very LONG time.....So in the mean time, as my dad always says......"Grow in Grace".

~Jamie~

I can't believe that this semester is drawing to a close. It seems like just days ago that I was unloading my my car and moving into a room that hadn't been lived in for weeks. Like just yesterday that I was starting my first day of classes. And now it's over. My (first semester) of my sophomore year is over. I've learned a little, I've lived a little, I've loved a little, and I've lost a little. All in All I think that this has been an experience un like one that I will ever have again.

I experienced the Joy and Frustration of working with the Ladies in Financial aid. I took a peak into the mind of Dr. Woodruff--and ran for the hills screaming. I have started and renewed friendships that will hopefully continue to grow and prosper. I've argued with Jesse Brown over Forester Village more times than I would like to admit. I've studied lots, and studied not quite enough. I've been an el-ed major, a youth ministries major, a YM and Recreation management DOUBLE major, and finally just a plain old Rec Management major (not all in one semester but pretty close).

Who knows what this summer will fully hold...I just know that I will get to minister to kids, to play with them, and to love them. However God chooses to unfold this summer will be just as exciting of an adventure as the last twelve months have.

Next year I'm hoping and praying for a little more stability, a little more assurance, a LOT more organization, and a little more focus. Well I doubt that I'll be adding anything to this for a very LONG time.....So in the mean time, as my dad always says......"Grow in Grace".

~Jamie~

I just BS'ed my way through three excruciating essays, with the hopes that the professor would take pitty on my poor damned soul, and give me a few undeserved points. I'm so thankful that class is over with!
(oh! and FYI, my poor soul is not really damned.....actually it's heaven bound!)

Screw it....Screw it all!`

"at this point....there is no point."

"no point in steering now."

"i'm going to fail.....i accept it, you should too."

"comphrehensive exams can go to hell."

"where Philosophy will be the ultimate torture."

"i can't do any better than i've already done.....but i can do worse."

news--good or bad...you decide

had an email from dad yesterday....good news....he signed the form i needed for the financial aid people....perhaps i will becoming back next year.....at least i hope so.....i had something else to say, but i just forgot it....a kid from my high school committed suicide on friday, so if you think of it--pray for unity in the schools....and that this can be used to further the Kingdom......something else...what was it?....hmmm...oh well, must not have been too important. nite all!--wait i remember! my aunt is having an auction....and i have the opportunity to purchase some much needed furniture for hopefully reasonable prices.....yeah for second hand furniture!

highlights from this weekend:

-Stitch: "Did you know that a magnum is also a gun?"
-Seeing Saca-J and Parkay and Zippo and Thriller and Uno and.......
-Meeting new people!......there were even a couple of HCer's!
-playing volleyball with stitch (who knew that "EEK" could be so funny?!)
-Stitch hitting HERSELF in the face with the volleyball......followed by Trigger hitting himself in the knee with the volleyball(it must run in the family!)......and then of course pelting Vanessa in the face!
-Beating their team 15-0; 15-2; 15-11.....GO US!
-"It's been genetically proven that if your parents can't have kids you most likely wont either"......that's right another stitch moment was close at hand! (are we seeing a pattern here?)
-The cynical "straw ride" with Magnum, Shooter, and Saca-J.....and everyone else
-Talking with Saca until 3 in the am
-FREE pizza! Yeah baby!
-Playing Apples to Apples....oh Cleaver!
-Playing endless games of knock out...
-Scoops remote controlled pop machine....
-Reminiscing!
-Just plain being at Michindoh!

I'm so excited for this summer!

Tu cara mira como un grano giganta

i like hooded sweatshirts a lot.....probably more than i should.

Another cut and paste from my Xanga site...

FRIDAY!

i'm so excited that it is finally Thursday....all week my internal calander has been off, but it's made for a very interesting week! Tomorrow is friday...and can i just say that i'm exicted? no? well too bad! I'm excited! not only will i get to take another exam early...but i'm also going to the Michindoh Staff Retreat! I'm going to take Vanessa up with me (from The WU (that's indiana weslyian university for those of you who were wondering!)..).....I've never met her before, but it'll be fun to get to know her before staff training in a few weeks. I'm really excited too see all of my camp "buddies" from last summer.....It'll be really different without Capt., and Oops, and Klondike there this year.....but I'm sure that Scoop and Birdie will do an amazing job....not to mention the fact that the other core counselors for this summer are amazing people......I just can't wait to see what God has in store for us this summer! I really hope Zipps and Timber will be there tomorrow, i really miss them.....we really should have mad a better effort to get together this semester....oh well. i guess it's like they say.....hind sight is 20/20. So i just realized that any one who is not educated about Michindoh, probably thinks i'm crazy.......these arent' imaginary people i'm talking about....they're camp names....i have one too....it's Ditto, if you want to know why i'll tell you......i also just realized that i use these .........'s alot.....hmmm....i wonder what that's all about. I'm pretty sure that this is the most random entry that i have ever made....well actually maybe not, but i'm just really excited so i wanted to put it on paper...or rather screen! I hope that all of my fans have an amazing day! it's so gorgeous outside~85 degrees. remind me why i'm sitting inside in the AC wearing a sweatshirt? You don't know? well neither do i! maybe i'll go outsid now......ok I'm done. That's all folks. there's no more to be seen......why are you still reading this? why am is till typing this? that's it.....this is the end.....hey it's like that matthew west song. what's it called? oh yeah, the end......that's because this is the end....really now stop reading! I MEAN IT! leave....ok i'm outty!



haha bet you thought i was serious......well that's because i am serious......bye!

a reiteration.....

there's nothing better than kids on a rope!

Unending Song!

have you ever really wanted to blog....and then you finally sit down to do so.......and then experience "bloggers block"? yep definitely experiencing it now....i just thought i'd let you know that!

AAAAAHHHHH!

this evening i experienced one of my first, "very nearly a panic attack" panic attack. and can i just tell you.....it was not fun! >:o(

a random excerpt

There's a great story about a chronically depressed man who went for help to the psychologist Carl Jung. Jung told the man to cut his fourteen hour workdays back to eight, then go directly home and spend his evenings alone and quiet. SO the man spent every evening behind closed doors, reading the works of Thomas Mann and Herman Hesse and playing Mozart and Chopin on his piano.

After a few weeks the depressed man returned to Jung, described what he'd been doing, and complined at his lack of improvement. Jung responded, "But you didn't understand. I didn't want you to be with Hesse or Mann or Chopin or Mozart. I wanted you to be completely alone."

The man looked horrified: "I can't think of any worse company".

Jung replied, "Yet this is the self you inflict on other people fourteen hours a day".

That kind of self-hatred hangs like a cloud between Christians and the Father of Lights. We are horrified at the thought of a silent retreat. We are so immobilized by self-loathing that we neutralize God's Spirit in us, chocking off the nourishment meant to make us grow and blossom and bear fruit

excerpt taken from:Brennan Manning's, Posers, Fakers & Wannabes (unmasking the real you)

another lazy day here at HC!

so tonight lisa and i decided to scrap any chance of homework and instead eat taco bell and watch tv; oh, and make cookies. it was a good idea.....except for the fact that i ate WAY TOO MUCH taco bell, and cookies and now i feel like i'm going to throw up all over the place. UUUUUGHHH!!! :o( another less vomitrocious note....i went to walmart today too buy Bed Knobs and Broom Sticks, they didn't have it......but they did have Chitty Chitty Bang Bang on VHS for $6, and American Sweethearts on DVD for $5.50, so that was pretty cool. and of course i bought them, but i haven't watched them yet because we were watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.....another tear jerker, sometimes i wonder if i'm really having these emotions or if it's all just scripted. but i really don't care i like the show anyway!......then we watched another ALIAS. i just realized how weird that show is getting....and how sad it is that Sidney has no friends outside of the CIA....and then i remember that it's just a show, no not just a show....an AMAZING show! and i get over that real quick too.

i think i'm going to go watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with Kari and let my taco's stew.........UUUUUUUUGHHH!

May Day!

i just realized that it's may. here's what may means to me (first published on my xanga site):
............................April Showers Bring May Flowers..........................

it's april.....almost may! may means........

a whole lot less stress,

a whole lot more fun,

a whole lot more sun,

new amazing memories,

and CRAZY KIDS!!!!

YaY for may!
(....wait maybe may means more stress.....hmmmm....either way: Yay for MaY!)

on lighter note....

i apologize for the ohio state look to my page.....i'm getting there!

i'm at the end of my rope......now i'm going to hang myself!

i have had it with these dorms!!!!! GRRRRRR! first we have warm water whenever the hot water heater feels like working. then someone cooks their popcorn for at least a half hour and we lose our microwave. we've had a water balloon thrown at our window in the middle of the night: now our screen pops out. the stinking guy upstairs has a basket ball hoop in his room and plays at midnight. the ladies next door choose to be loud when i choose to sleep. and to top it off! someone just through a rock at our window and broke it!!!!!!! i am fed up!!! Praise the Lord! i get to live in the forester apartments next year.....only two weeks left....only two weeks left....only two weeks left....only two weeks left....only two weeks left.......*mumbling incoherently*........

waterlogged

i read a post today on another website that made me think:

Throughout the past three years I have often felt like an island, isolated in my little world, focused on the tasks set before me and disconnected from much of my past. It can get very difficult sometimes, having no frame of reference except for the bobbing sea around me.

Today I had several opportunities to reconnect with this past, to swim back to the mainland. I feel so much smaller, and I'm so very thankful. It's good to be a factor in the equation, a step in the process, a part of the whole. It's nice to connect, to look into familiar eyes and remember the fondness I have in my heart for certain things, people, and places.

Ideally, I'd like to be a peninsula ... shooting outward yet connected, but for now I'm afraid that I just can't have that luxury. I must serve where I am and cherish what God has given me. It kind of makes me sad, but I know that this is a big ocean in need of as much dry and stable land as possible. I'm gonna stay where I am, struggling to grow palm trees that produce fruit for generations to come.

i feel the same way.....almost. over the last few weeks i've realized that i'm in a transitional stage. i haven't found my island yet, but i'm no longer on shore. i think i'm in a boat somewhere without a compass. i can still see my shore but from only from a distance......and everything is distorted and changing, it's no longer my home. but i can't yet see my island......so i'm stranded. but i think it's an ok thing though. i feel like i'm slowly starting to drift from home for a reason. i don't think i'm supposed to stay on my main land anymore, and i think God is really trying to prepare me for the day that i find my island, and begin to make a new main land. he's preparing me for the change now, and although it's scary to leave it all behind.......i'm excited, and becoming prepared!

a community news bulletin!

please excuse the ketchup and mustard look to my page......i'm getting there

indecision...the elixir of life

i just re-worked the format of this blog....but i'm not too sure of it yet. i think i like the red (definitely my favorite color)....but i'm not too sure of anything else. it feels likes its missing something...like it's not quite done yet. i wish i could think of what too do. hmmm......i'm not sure. let me know if you have any ideas, that would be super fantastic. thanks dudes!

chicken-bumps!

i wanted to type about something else....but i just had a very important thought cross my mind. it all originated with a statement that i just made: "I have goose-bumps". why are the called goose-bumps? i understand the reasoning. for those of you who don't know what in this crazy world i'm talking about, allow me to explain. when you pull the feathers off of a bird, such as a chicken or i suppose goose, it leaves little bumps birds skin; quite similar to that of what we call "goose-bumps". now this is the part that i don't understand......why do they call them goose-bumps? it's more common today to eat chicken not goose, so shouldn't we call them chicken bumps? i'm not saying that no one eats goose, because i myself have had it before, but i've had chicken for more often. i think we should also call them "chicken-bumps" because, we call some one who is a wuss a chicken, and in some way i'm sure that being cold is a way of showing that you are weak.....so there is just a much better mental picture that is created when you call them chicken-bumps.......yeah so that's my story, just thought that you would all be interested in knowing what i'm thinking that's all!

30% off sale!

can i just share with you the fact that i feel like a real college student now! and why is that? because i went to classes at a college?....no......because i live in a dorm with lots of other loud college students......no.....because i have been frightened awake on many occasions by said college students?.....no.....because i finally own a Huntington College sweat shirt and a Huntington College Car window Cling?......no, wait i mean YES!!! i after nearly two years here at HC i have bought my first HC hooded sweat shirt!

and the prodigal son returns......i mean daughter

i'm home! well, ok maybe not home, but i am back to my good ole' blog site! i guess i just experienced the "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" syndrome. only to discover that in fact my grass may not be greener, but i like it better! so in other words, i'm back and here to stay! as you can see things are a little different however. i decided to give my blog a much need face lift and give it the attention that it so justly deserves! in the process of updating it's look (which by the way i'm not quite finished with) i seem to have lost all of my comments and my links so if there is anything you would like to say, or a link that i just HAVE To have on my site......let me know!

IMPORTANT!

i have decided to potentially nix this blog and use a new Xangaaccount that i have recently started. you should notice that i said " potentially nix this blog", that means that i'm going to be using my xanga account for the next week or so. i just want to see if i like the way that the program runs.....don't worry i wil still be sharing the vast reaches of my knowledge. hope to see you there!