enough.

i'm so bored. and irritated. i don't think that the two are related, but i suppose it is possible. i feel like such a jerk today. i think i'm being really short with everyone today. and little things are really bugging me. like noisy eaters. and i'm just not in the mood for cynicism. Or for people trying to convince me that i'm wrong. it's making me rather argumentative. i have fought over the dumbest things today, but i just don't want to loose. i get sick and tired of trying to constantly defend my position on everything. especially things that are opinions! no matter how hard someone tries, you are just not going to change my mind on appropriate office dress, or what a marriage should be based on. i'm tired of being talked down too. i'm tired of people thinking i'm an idiot. i'm tired of it all. i'm sick of it. i think that if one more person argues with me, i just might have to revert to a former rage. something i haven't done since high school. not a pretty picture. but i'm tired of it. i just wish i was somewhere that i didn't have to constantly feel like this. i wish someone would just freaking take an interest in me for what I think. i'm tired of always being the funny one. Or the ditzy one. Or the quiet one. Or the loud one. i want to be the smart one. Or the opinionated one. Or the civil one. Or the respectful one. Or maybe just Jamie. i don't know why i'm typing this. this really isn't something that i should be typing for everyone to see. but i guess it doesn't really matter anyway. it won't make difference, i'm not going to change the way other people think just like they are not going to change me. so i guess we should all just stop trying. right? and get along. right? is that possible? i don't know anymore. i'm tired, and depressed, and sick of it.