Holy Pleasant Vineyard Batman!

well it is official. i am (or will be when i sign the contract) am on the pleasant vineyard ministries summer staff. and i'm pretty pumped at that! i'm really excited to get my practicum started (and possibly and internship at that!), and i'm even more excited to take on my core staff responsibilities! i'm very exctied to go there this weekend for core staff training #1, too! i really hope this summer goes well. it sounds like the program is undergoing a lot of changes...new leadership, new core staff positions...and i really hope that they find their niche this summer. i can't wait to experience a new format. and new counselors. and new campers. and make some new "networking connections" (eh? ya like that? connie would be so proud!). and i'm just excited.

Like Father, Like Daughter

my dad just called. he wanted to give me a little parental advice. and i quote:
"Just pull down your pants and slide on da ice...Goodbye!

randomness. now i see where i get it from.

a revelation...

sometimes when i open my mouth, this is all i hear: "blah blah blah. IAMFULLOFCRAP.DONOTLISTENTOME.CRAPWILLSPILLONYOU.ORMAYBEPEANUTS.ORMONKEYS. blah blah blah."

That is all.

biographies seem to make my heart go pitter-patter; cross that with a woody allen movie, and we are talking full on cardiac arrest. what could be better than a documentary like movie about a jazz guitarist in the 1930's. a movie that combines witty writing with hilarious situations in a completely audacious and realistic way. prostitues and dead rats seem to find their way into my heart. it makes me long to live in an era where music was as vital as air, and nothing else mattered. oh how i heart the Sweet and Lowdown!

you are what you feel?

blah. i think i'm getting strep throat or something. that doesn't make me very happy. not being able to swallow doesn't make me very happy either. typing three papers tonight also does not make me very happy. i sound like an angry housewife, but i'm not angry nor a wife so that's not it. i listened to norah jones and john mayer all day today. they just seemed to fill a void. that makes me happy, now my musical yearning has been filled...and i was moderately productive, so all in all i guess that it was a good day; strep throat and sore ear aside. this blog aside too. because it is crap. and i feel like crap. maybe that means that i am crap. are you what you feel? if so that would be very sad, because i don't particularly feel like being crap. i think that if i were crap i would always be warm and steamy and smell like carla's feet. that might just make me throw up, but i don't think that crap can throw up. this whole topic also makes me want to throw up. but i do not want to do that. so i will end this post with a happy thought: there is not pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, only a mad man with a machete.

...and i think all of this suspense might make my head implode.

monkey pit eyelashes

of badminton and studying

i have a private and commercial recreation exam tomorrow. i'm not really in the mood to study, but i will. we played badminton again today in rec sports.
now my shoulder hurts. and i learned that i'm not really all that bad, so that's a good thing i guess. maybe if i could learn how to serve that would help. i heard from the camp, nothing definitive though. just telling me that i need to get all of my references in. i think i might go shopping this weekend. i had an interesting conversation with aaron last night. it was kind of nice. i like that kid. but i guess he's not really a kid since he's like four years older than me. that would make him like what 25. old. maybe not, i guess that's how old my brother is. it's not really that old. someday i'll be 25 if i don't die, i just need to make sure that i stay away from squirrels. i think that they want to eat my eyes out, and then pee in my eye sockets so that i get an infection. i'm pretty sure that's how i'm going to die. either that or i'll choke on something. maybe like a penny or something. but i don't put pennies in my mouth because that's gross. or maybe someone will kill me with a knife. or maybe i will fall out of a fourth story window. or maybe my heart will implode. or maybe i will die in a car accident. or maybe i will be whisked away in a firey chariot and never die. i'm sure it will be one of those ways though. a talking banana told me so.

i don't have anything to type. nothing of significance anyway. not that i ever do, because i don't. i think that for the most part i am just full of crap.

an apology

so i was reading some old posts...and i found one entitled TIME, and it kind of put me in a better mood. now i think i can go to bed a little more relaxed. sorry about being all emo and girlie...or just pissed and PMSie or something. whatever.

enough.

i'm so bored. and irritated. i don't think that the two are related, but i suppose it is possible. i feel like such a jerk today. i think i'm being really short with everyone today. and little things are really bugging me. like noisy eaters. and i'm just not in the mood for cynicism. Or for people trying to convince me that i'm wrong. it's making me rather argumentative. i have fought over the dumbest things today, but i just don't want to loose. i get sick and tired of trying to constantly defend my position on everything. especially things that are opinions! no matter how hard someone tries, you are just not going to change my mind on appropriate office dress, or what a marriage should be based on. i'm tired of being talked down too. i'm tired of people thinking i'm an idiot. i'm tired of it all. i'm sick of it. i think that if one more person argues with me, i just might have to revert to a former rage. something i haven't done since high school. not a pretty picture. but i'm tired of it. i just wish i was somewhere that i didn't have to constantly feel like this. i wish someone would just freaking take an interest in me for what I think. i'm tired of always being the funny one. Or the ditzy one. Or the quiet one. Or the loud one. i want to be the smart one. Or the opinionated one. Or the civil one. Or the respectful one. Or maybe just Jamie. i don't know why i'm typing this. this really isn't something that i should be typing for everyone to see. but i guess it doesn't really matter anyway. it won't make difference, i'm not going to change the way other people think just like they are not going to change me. so i guess we should all just stop trying. right? and get along. right? is that possible? i don't know anymore. i'm tired, and depressed, and sick of it.

February 12, 2005

b movies, shopping, chinese food, phone calls, being a jerk, talking to a jerk (HA!), vanity fair, buy 4 movies for the price of 2 [Garden State, Kill Bill VOL II (stupid store didn't have VOL I on DVD, maybe someday), Saved, and House of Sand and Stone]. not a bad saturday if i do say so myself...and i do!

Oh Dear Sweet Virginia!

*on a previous conversation regarding the Virginia State Flag*

jmebarrett: so kade and i argued for about 20 minutes about whether or not it was actually a boob....until i provided some irrefutalbe evidence
jmebarrett: but then he trumped me by telling me he was more amazing than him...so i lost the debate
jmebarrett: cheap shot i think
Pigtales84: he was more amazing than who?
jmebarrett: than me
jmebarrett: either that or the Virginia flag chick with her boob sticking out
jmebarrett: but i think that she might have him on that one
jmebarrett: it takes some real balls to have your boob displayed to the world...except of course she doesn't have balls because she has boobs....although i suppose she could have boobs and balls....but that would make me see Virginia in an entirely different light...so...oh crap i forgot the point of what i was saying
jmebarrett: you can make one up and pretend that it was a good point

It really is an unending song!`

I didn't realize it...but yesterday was my one year anniversary with blogger! this is the very first anniversary that i've ever had. for anything! oh...that's kind of sad. i'm 21 and just had my first ever anniversary for anything, and i forgot about it! maybe it's a good thing that i have never had the responsibility of remembering an anniversary before, i probably would have just screwed it up. ahh...i started out happy and now i'm slightly depressed, and keenly aware that valentines day is coming up and i will be alone. no wait! not alone...i have my blogger!

blahh!!!!!!

i want to rant, and i want to rave. but i don't think that it would do any good. because no one would listen to me anyway. and the subject of my anger is intangible, and the people representing it would just find some way to make me feel like crap. sometimes i hate going to a christian school. sometimes i just hate being a christian. sometimes i hate that i have these feelings. but i better not let anyone know this because that would just make them better than me. and it would win. and i would loose again. and i don't want to loose again. i just want to be done. and out. and it to be over with. but i know when i am done. and out. and it is over with, i will just have to contend with the same things. and the same representatives. and it will never be over. and it will always win. and i will always loose. but maybe that's what it means to be a christian. maybe that's our goal. to always win. and to always make ourselves loose. blahhhh!!!! i don't want to put up with it any more. but i will. because it will build character. and i will learn. and i'm sure that "god is just teaching me something". and that it's in god's will. but is it really in god's will for christians to represent that? is it? have they ever read the bible? have I?

And the award goes to...

i was going to type something. i don't remember what it was though. but it was inspirational. and people were going to give me awards. maybe a pulitzer. or a nobel. but now i don't remember what it was. so i guess i won't be winning any awards. and now my life has no meaning. so i'm going to kill myself with a banana. death by banana. tell me how that would work. in the mean time i'll study for my exams tomorrow, and try to remember what i was going to type and why it was so inspirational, so that there won't have to be another death at the hands of a banana.

*post script*-if you could also tell me why i have a sudden obsession with bananas, that would be much appreciated. thank you.

i'm too lazy to title things

President George Washington owned foxhounds named DRUNKARD, TIPLER and TIPSY.

It takes 110 domestic silkworm cocoons to make a man's tie and 630 to make a blouse.

PHILLIP DRINKER and Louis Agassiz Shaw built the first IRON LUNG with two vacuum cleaners at Harvard University in 1927. Iron Lungs are known as DRINKER RESPIRATORS.

CHRISTMAS became a National Holiday in the U.S. in 1890.

The FIRST TRANSOCEANIC CABLE MESSAGE was sent on August 16, 1858 and said "Europe and America are united by telegraph. Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace and good will towards men".

BUDDY was the name of the FIRST SEEING EYE DOG in AMERICA, brought to the U.S. in 1928 from Switzerland by owner Morris Frank.

The Pony Express only lasted 18 months, from April 1860 to October 1861.

The Lone Ranger's mask was made from the vest of his dead brother Capt. Daniel Reid by Tonto.

CLEO and CAESAR were early stage names of CHER and SONNY Bono.


1967 introduced NEW Words and Phrases into our vocabulary: Boutique, Hippie or Hippy, Teeny-Bopper, Nitty Gritty, Permanent Press, Narc, Hipsters, Kinky, Public Television, Scam, Swap Meet and Think Tank. Counterculture figurehead Dr.Timothy Leary advises, "Turn on, tune in, drop out".

TV's MR.ED who's real name was Bamboo Harvester, was once a parade horse. He was bought for $1,500 by Filmway Productions.

Stephen Stills, John Sebastian and Paul Williams all failed auditions to become members of the MONKEES.

JIMI HENDRIX was the opening act for the MONKEES on their first tour.

The parts of the human body that have only three letters are: arm, ear, eye, gum, jaw, leg, lip, rib and toe.

Ian Fleming, creator of the JAMES BOND adventure novels also wrote "CHITTY-CHITTY BANG BANG".

Benjamin Franklin wanted the TURKEY as the national symbol of the United States.

According to SMURF legend, a baby SMURF is born "Once in a Blue Moon".

On July 4, 1979, DONALD DUCK presented Teresa Salcedo the first birth certificate ever given for being born in DISNEYLAND.

The first TEST TUBE BABY born in the United States on December 28, 1981 is Elizabeth Jordan Carr.

When they were babies, both BROOKE SHIELDS and musician DR. JOHN posed for IVORY SOAP.

PAMPERS disposable diapers were invented in 1961.

The band "PEARL JAM" was named for lead singer Eddie Wedder's grandmother, PEARL, and the hallucinogenic PRESERVES (JAM) she made from peyote.

NIPPER the RCA dog was a Fox Terrier.

There were 5 MARX brothers: GROUCHO (Julius), CHICO (Leonard), HARPO (Adolph), GUMMO (Milton), ZEPPO (Herbert).

UNDERDOG'S secret identity was "Shoeshine Boy".

The Russian government between the Czars and the Bolshevists was called Provisional.

The color KHAKI was first used during the AFGHAN WAR in 1880 because the color was considered good camouflage.

In World War II Army slang for an ARMY DONKEY was G.I. MOE.

The FIRST TELEPHONE MESSAGE by Alexander Graham Bell on March 10, 1876 to his assistant Thomas Augustus Watson was "Mr. Watson, come here I need you".

L'Oreal introduced the first hair spray in 1960 called ELNETT.


The TV DINNER was introduced during WWII by SWANSON because cans and metals were rationed during the war.

The skateboard was invented in 1963.

According to both FRENCH and PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH tradition, BELLS NICHOLS is the name of Santa's BROTHER.

"Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings at a single bound, look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? It's Superman!"

In the comic books, BEPPO was the name of Superman's MONKEY and COMET was his SUPER HORSE.

The initials used in C.A.R.E. stand for Cooperative American Relief Everywhere but originally stood for Cooperative for American Remittances to Europe.

MUHAMMAD ALI once said "When a man can fight sex, you know he's strong".

The BEATLES's movie HELP was originally titled "Eight arms to hold you".

In 1982, seven books by Jim Davis about GARFIELD were on the New York Times best-sellers list at the same time.

The Kings in a deck of cards are named: Alexander, Caesar, Charles and David.

In 1995, BLUE replaced TAN in the standard package of M&M candies. Blue was the overwhelming choice in a vote taken by MARS, Inc. The runner-up colors were purple and pink.

Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison all died at the age of 27.

GEORGE WASHINGTON was the FIRST President of the United States to have an "INAUGURAL BALL". It was held in New York City, NY on May 7, 1789.

Hands Across America took place in 1986. It was 4,150 miles long.

So far, GENE AUTRY is the only entertainer to have FIVE STARS on Hollywood's "Walk of Fame"...one in each of the "Walks" five categories of FILM, TV, RECORDING, RADIO and THEATER.

Helium is named after the Greek word for "sun".

The modern hamburger on a bun got it's start at the ST. Louis World's Fair in 1904.

HOWDY DOODY has a twin BROTHER named DOUBLE Doody and a SISTER named HEIDY Doody.

The plastic on the end of a shoelace is called an AGLET.

The word "Highjack" originated during prohibition. When a truck of illegal liquor was taken, the gunman would say "HIGH, JACK", indicating how the driver should raise his hands.

TRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA is the unnatural fear of the number "13".

I'm going to bed at before 10 o'clock.

i don't have a title

today i read a david rackoff book, ate oreos with peanut butter all while listening to the garden state soundtrack. and to top it off, it was raining outside, and i was inside wearing sweats...heavenly.

i bought a new book today. it's by steve martin. it's called pure drivel. it only cost a dollar. i don't typically go for celebrity literature. but steve martin is funny. that, and it only cost a dollar.

i have a paper due tomorrow and i'm typing a blog. maybe i should like not do this or something. or maybe i should. i don't know.

i feel like being witty and charming tonight. but i just don't feel that happening.

***note to self: call grandma***

alright...bus org...bus org...bus org...bus org....dumb. i don't want to do it. i don't want to go to class tomorrow. i'm thinking about skipping chapel again. that would mean that i have skipped all but one this semester, i'm not off to a good start. i don't want to go to first aid tomorrow. i do want to have lunch with lisa. i do not want to go bowling. i do...but not for class. i don't want to go to work, i like work, but i haven't done anything for it tomorrow. i do want to go to bed. as a matter of fact i want to sleep for the rest of my life. i've already taken two naps today, and i just want to go to bed.

maybe that is a bad sign. maybe i'm getting depressed. maybe i have an african sleeping sickness...except of course i've never been to africa...and i've never had sex with someone who's been to africa....as a matter of fact....actually i'm just not going to finish that thought. maybe i'm getting that one sickness where you sleep for months at a time, only to wake up and the sleep for a few more months. maybe i'm like that one guy in that one fairy tale that slept for like a hundred years. you know the one. the one with the old man and the bowling like pirates or something. i can't remember what it was called. not rumplestiltskin, but something equally annoying. umm. crap. oh well. or maybe i'm just turning into a pillow or something, and i'm just preparing for the long amounts of sleep that i will be participating in over the next few months, or years of my life. i suppose that the life span of a pillow varies according to its owner.

no carla, it is not bad that you are just picking and choosing things out of there to write about. p.s. carla: sorry i was a bitch. maybe i'm just tired. or maybe i'm just a bitch.

but i digress, i don't know from what though. i wasn't really talking about anything anyway. not that anyone will care anyway. i feel like perhaps this post will make me loose friends too. p.s. jonny: i'm too lazy to actually comment on your post. but i wanted to say that i feel awful for finding those comics to be so completely amazing. thanks. and i'll still be your friend.

chrissy: I heart you....just in case you forgot.

alright, now this is starting to feel slightly reminiscent of the oscars or something...and that's dumb cause i'm not amazing enough to write an acceptance speech. i think that if i were to write an acceptance speech, it would be as follows: "I'd like to thank the maintenance man for fixing our toilet today, now i can poop without fear of an accidental drowning".

that is all.

ambition or laziness?

i created a new flickr account. i've uploaded as many pictures as it would let me for the month. if you feel like checkin them out....then you should!

Rekindling a forgotten love.

Nellie Mckay. Oh how I love thee.

Puff the magic dragon lives in my head

Sometimes I want to pride myself on having a vivid imagination. More times than not, i find myself in some sort of parallel universe; where the grass is green and i'm an amazing person who every one wants to emulate, and if not they just want to kill me because they can't be like me. I can just see myself walking down the side walk in Chicago. The crowded side walk mystically parts as i make my way through the sea of people. Mothers screaming at children are taken aback by my mere presence, their roudy children fall silent in their reverence. passing automobile drivers are transformed from road raging volcanoes, to kamikaze pilots as they willingly drive their cars into one another to create impromptu fire works for my grand parade. Every where i go i leave behind a chaotic array of mayhem and wonder. And for once the world is in perfect alignment, and i am awed. Nothing could ruin my perfect fantasy except for the age old question "Are you alright? You have a really funny look on your face".

Of course I do, i always do when i'm thinking, but it never seems to fail. Just when I seem to have reached the apex of my only slightly narcissitic universe, my reality comes crashing back down on me like a ton of bricks. Not even like a ton of bricks, but like a ton of bricks with thousands of glass shards embedded into them. I am once again forced to realize that i am not, and will probably never be the center of the universe.

it's a shame too, i think that i'd make a good center of the universe. as a matter of fact we should test out my hypothesis. from now on you should love me and adore me and do amazing things for me. and if not then i will smite you. or maybe not because that's like blasphemy or something. ok so maybe i won't smite you, but i will give you a really dirty look. one that will frighten you into submission. actually i will probably not do anything like that at all. i will probably just hang out in the shadows and be like the pluto of the universe. but don't worry, i'll keep dreaming about being amazing. and about people liking me. and about being needed. and about being funny and witty and unforgettable. and i'll keep blogging about...well about nothing.