I have decided to become a collector. Lots of people are collectors and it is a perfectly respectable hobby. There are collectors of nut crackers, cuckoo clocks, porcelain cats, spoons, little buttons, big buttons, black buttons, square buttons, etc; and so it seems perfectly natural that I should join in this collecting frenzy.
Some would think that acquiring the collectible would be the most difficult and enjoyable aspect of the hobby, but would have to disagree. I find choosing what to collect to be the most difficult, frustrating, and euphoric endeavor to be undertaken. At no other point in the enterprise are you afforded the opportunity to survey the entire scope of the known world. You are given the opportunity to critically judge every object, vegetable, animal or mineral; being, past or present, under the most severe of terms .
That is why i have taken so many years trying to decide exactly what it is that i wish to collect. By allowing myself to remain as an untethered observer, i could be just that. As critical as i wished without feeling the least bit apprehensive of some sort of personal harm; because i was not, in anyway, attached to the object of my criticism. Although I have enjoyed my years in purgatory, i have finally decided on my collectible. I will be a collector of words.
A collector of words? One cannot collect words. You might say. "Ah, but yes they can!" I would reply. "For you see it is as easy as collecting stamps. Like stamps, words are everywhere. They permeate the very being of thing, whether tangible or otherwise. There is nothing more powerful, or readily available then words." At which point I am sure you would look at me like I was crazy. And perhaps I am. "But how can you collect words?" It seems that you will be a persistent arse on this topic. "Easy!" I will say. For it seems that I too will be an arse, and will continually defend my choice. "I will write them. I will record them. I will blog them. I will tattoo them. I will plant them and they will grow; I will be Johnny Wordseed. I will cross the land collecting the strongest, the brightest, the nicest, the harshest, the scariest, the darkest, the most asinine, the most laborious words ever spoken."
So I will be a collector. Well that, or maybe I will just eat dinner. Yes, that seems easier.
Friday, January 23, 2009
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7 comments:
hey, if you'd like to be a stamp or coin collector somewhere along the way, I'd be glad to sell you some!
:)
And I'm glad you used the word arse.
word collectors of the world, unite!
I became nervous at the thought of you collecting vegetables. I think that would be a rather foul and smelly hobby. Words are much more tolerable...
Carla
When I was in middle and high school, I collected pigs. But, I found that once anyone found out that you collect something, it makes the hobby less interesting because thereafter, for any gift-giving occassion, all I got was pigs, and so I decided to not collect them. It worked out nicely though because then, when I started going through things at my moms house to get rid of, the boxes of pigs were found and by then, my dad had gotten remarried and my step-aunt collects pigs, so I was able to just pass the collection onto someone else who would appreciate them.
Long story for something so bland. Oh, well. Suck it if you don't like it.
-Carla-
oh no, i will not suck it. it was not bland, and i liked your story. when i was in high school i decided i liked lady bugs. now i have lots of lady bug things stored in boxes that have not seen the light of day in years. so i get it. and i remember the pigs. actually i remember a pig wearing a polk-a-dotted red bikini. random.
Yea, I still have THAT pig. She's cute and random. I can't give her up....
C-
Oh, and I think you need to update! ;) I've fallen back into old habits and check your blog daily (if not more often)...
C-
great minds think a like. i wanted to update yesterday, but was too tired to pull out the lap top, and too lazy to update from my touch. so it went un-updated for another day.
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