i know what to do!!!!

i have made a decision....and that really is a big thing for me!.....i had an interview to day with a camp that i applied to. one that i was really really interested in. it just seems like the program that they have is so amazing, the way that the teach kids about the Christ, and disciple them, while at the same time letting them do things they love; like paintball, or rock climbing, or horse back riding..... well i think that the interview went well, but i'm a really really bad judge of those things, so i'm not sure. but anyway the point is i have finally made a decision. i have decided that i'm just going to take the position at michindoh after all. i mean i've already been hired and all, and besides that things have come together too well to just call it coincidence. i think that for one more summer i'm supposed to be at michindoh, and serving the Lord to glorify him and further his kingdom is a BIG goal with me. so my decision is michindoh this summer, and then different experiences next. i think that maybe next summer i'll do my practicum, or maybe my internship. that would be GREAT! i could work at another camp, get experience, AND college credits....man the life of a rec major is AMAZING!

hmmm....what to do....

if only i knew!

an amendment.......

so i just read through the entry i made late last night, and i realized one thing......i shouldn't be allowed to make an entry while simultaneously falling asleep and talking with a friend. so here's what i would like to amend, actually clarify. when i said that i would give up the internet, i suppose i should have actually said that i would give up all of my wasted time. all of the time that i spend watching my movies for the millionth time, all of the time that i spend taking naps at 3:00 in the afternoon, all of the time that i waste watching tv....(except for csi night with carla cause that's really more of a fellowship time). i want to use that time to deepen my understanding of who he is....and actually i want to use this time to figure out exactly what i'm looking for in a biblical relationship. not that i'm in one now, but i think that it would be a really good idea to see what God calls me too in a relationship, and what i standards of purity that i want to hold for myself. since i actually told myself that that's what i would be doing until my 21st birthday anyway, why not actually do it? that way i can focus my eyes on my eternal bride groom....to discover what i want in my earthly bride groom. after reading this later i'll probably wish that i had never typed it, because i'm sure i sound like a complete imbecile. but hey i guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles.......oh, by the way, i have my CMC (christian ministries coordinator) interview, so if you think about it, i would like you to pray for the whole process. not that i would get the "job" but rather for wisdom for those in the selection process. that the will of the Lord is sought and completed. that those who are chosen will be men and women of God with a servants heart and a longing to help their fellow peers grow in their relationship with God. that's really all......yeah....so like i said i probably sound like an incompetent fool, for which i most sincerely apologize for (man i've watched nicholas nickleby too many times. but it's a great movie.....probably even novel but i've never read it....and i definitely suggest watching it!).......ok i'm done, and that's the point of my story......actually i don't know what the point of this entire blog is.....oh well! :)

hmmm....an analysis of today

so it's 12:15, eastern indiana time (i don't really know if that's a time zone or not, but please don't get me started on this not switching time like the rest of the country it's just a little too annoying for this time of night!), anyway as i was saying.....its 12:16 am indiana time which means that the day is finally over, or rather yesterday is over and today has begun. i just thought that i'd use up the last few minutes of my mental stamina before going to bed. (PRAISE THE LORD I'M GOING TO BE GOING TO BED!!!)...so i want to just sort of analyze today, or rather yesterday.hmmm....its been a pretty lazy day even though i can't really afford a lazy day, i guess sometimes that just the way things are from the start. for example: i "accidently" skipped my new testament class today to sleep longer (this wouldn't have been necessary if a certain individual on baker 2nd [cough] stump [cough] hadn't been playing basketball at midnight yesterday evening!). so i skipped class and had to seriously talk myself into going to the rest of them, which is really sad because all the money i'm sinking into my education should have been motivation enough; and normally it is, just not today...yesterday...i guess. but so yeah anyway the day was just sort of slow, i did some homework (not nearly enough and i'll be paying for that all day tomorrow, or i mean today). i went to eckleseia tonight. it's the first time that i've been there since last year. i just sort of went to get a chapel credit (ya ya ya i know kinda wrong right?), but it turned out not to be so bad. i hadn't realized it but today is ash wednesday. now i don't typically find myself participating in lent. i guess that's because i primarily associate it with Catholicism, which i do not practice. but tonight in eck, amos kind of spoke on the fruit of the spirit and how if we are trying to "win" God's approval, we will never naturally produce any good fruit. which kind of got me thinking. i want to naturally produce the fruit of the spirit, and i want to do things for the Lord but not to win his approval but to praise him, and to deepen my relationship with him, and to know more of who he is. so where is this going? ahh, here is the point (pointpointpointpointpoint....what a fun word to type!pointpointpointpoint.....hehehehe someday i'll grow up!)...what was i talking about? oh yes my point! my point is that i've been considering using this lent as a time to deepen my relationship with God, to give up something that has really been distracting me from him. something more than just ice cream and chocolate, but something that is going to be really hard. maybe like.....the internet! oh wouldn't that be something.....actually that is a good idea.....i could give up all of the time that i waste surfing the web, and use that time for personal devos or working with the jmc, doing something with my temple that praises my great and mighty creator for who he is! yeah i think i like that idea, and that's the point of my story!

yep that's what i said!

wong hong a tong e vong e rong! tong hong a tong song /wong hong a tong/ i /hong a vong e/ tong o/ song a yong/ a bong o u tong/ tong hong a tong!

amazing love

i’m forgiven because You were forsaken
i’m accepted, You were condemned
i’m alive and well, Your Spirit is within me
because You died and rose again.

amazing love, how can it be,
that You my King would die for me?
amazing love, i know it’s true,
and it’s my joy to honor You,
in all I do, i honor You.

this just in!

increased abstinence causes a large drop in teen pregnancy! at least that's what the researchers at the heritage foundation found. how they ever discovered the correlation between abstinence and a drop in teen pregnancy is beyond me!

we're good!

me:ya know if salvation were contingent on my going to class, i'd be going to hell.

lisa: ha! me too! but it's not, so we're good.

(more to come...)

come on! there are other people around!

i guess one good thing about being single on a predominately "coupled" campus is that i now know what i will not do in public. i've decided that if what i see other people doing makes me want to throw up, then i'm not going to do it. and if when i am dating, and i start showing inappropriate public displays of affection.....please smash my head into a wall!!!! (i really need to stop getting so annoyed by other people. i guess what this last little interjection is....is an apology....i'm asking for your forgiveness for being annoyed with you, i just can't take it some times! AND YOU SHOULD KNOCK IT OFF!! )

old school hymns rock!

Jesus what a friend for sinners,
Jesus lover of my soul;
Friends may fail me, foes assail me,
he my savior makes me whole.
Jesus what a strength in weakness
let me hide myslef in him;
Tempted, tried, and sometimes failing;
he my strength my victory wins.
Jesus what a help in sorrow,
while the billows o'er me roll;
Even when mny heart is breaking,
he my comfort helps my soul.
Jesus what a guide and keeper,
while the tempest still is high;
Storms about me, night o'er takes me,
he my pilot hears my cry.

FORGIVENESS....ITS AMAZING

forgiveness.....
it's amazing how..amazing it is! and how hard it is. sure we're called to do it, but how many times have i just wanted to hold onto my anger, to my self-pity, and to the identity that on some level i find in it. its crazy how easily the evil one can get a foot hold into our lives when were are too block headed to forgive. why are we like that? why do we so want to find our identity in who we hate, and what we won't forgive, when the One we are to emulate is so different from that. just think of where we would be if Christ hadn't shown forgiveness, God were to punish us of the crime that we are so guilty of. i find comfort in knowing that i am the prodigal child (well maybe not in that part but in the fact that...) and God is the father: Luke 15:20-24 " So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him ' father i have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.....[but the father said] Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found'!.....now i'm a very visual person so this is what i picture. the son....me (only i would be the daughter!) is broken, dirty, shamed, afraid, but has no were else to turn, he is coming down the road. not with the walk of one who has conquered the world...but one who has been conquered by it, his...my shoulders are drooping, my face is long. i can't look up because what i have done is so mortifying to me that i don't want too, CAN"T look anyone in the eyes. but when i do look up i see him standing there. my father, my heavenly father. with a radiance of holyness that just makes me feel all the more dirty, but also quickens my step. i see him the worry lines on his face, the bags under his eyes from nights of waiting up, probably tired..... and feeling worn, come to me. come running. RUNNING TO ME! he runs faster then i thought possible, and before i know it...he is there. holding me, kissing me, loving me. ME...the one who had abandoned him. ME...the one who has taken him forgranted. ME....the one who isn't even worthy to serve his pigs...and he loves me. "Father, Lord i'm sorry. I have failed you...i do not deserve you.....". but he looks at me and says "MY CHILD IS HOME!, the one i love, the one who was lost is found, the one who was dead, is now alive!".
Even typing this now makes me teary-eyed. Because how many times have i done that. how many times have i decided that i know what is best for me. how many times have i said 'screw it' to my heavenly father, and left. and how many times have i come crawling back on my knees, shamed and desperate. how many times has he said "MY CHILD IS HOME!". how many more times will i do this? i don't know, but i do know that each time he will take me back, and not say when will you learn your lesson, but instead "MY CHILD IS HOME!"

forgiveness.....
its amazing....its amazing how amazing it is. its amazing how when i come home, when i've learned my lesson (or maybe not!), how He will forgive. so what's my point. this is the point: the one lesson that i have had to learn, that i am still learning...is forgiveness. not that i'll be forgiven, but that i should forgive. that i need to be like my father, and just say "YOU'RE HOME! I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE HOME!". this is so hard, insanely hard, but not impossibly hard. i'm learning, i'm learning that i'm so much more peaceful and happy when i forgive them, that our relationship...although it may not be the same....its stronger. its...amazing!

THURSDAY MEANS.....

today is thursday. and do you know what that means? it means that tomorrow is friday, which means that i have a philosophy exam that i'm going to bomb. which means that i shouldn't be sitting here doing this, which is nothing! so now i'm going to go study, i just felt that i should update this thing cause it's been a few days!

NO I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP

i don't want to grow up, it's 'cause i'm a toys r' us kid. and there's a million toys at toys r' us that i can play with. from bikes; to trains; to video games. it's the coolest toy store there is, no i don't want to grow up. ya see 'cause if i did, i wouldn't be a toys r' us kid.

BLAAHCK

never buy pizza flavored ravioli!

A LONELY VALENTINES DAY

this story just made me cry. how can i ever find true love if it didn't even work out for the hero of all little girls. this really will be a sad valentine's day!

WAITING ROOM~BY LaRue

Time after time, I find myself
Losing my mind, I have to remind myself
That this is just a waiting room
And we're waiting for Your love

Oh, everything will be alright, and everything will be ok
If I don't let this world carry me to sin, to sin, to sin

And I don't understand how, we could be so blind not to see
The love that stands in front of, in front of you and me
Don't doubt He Loves You

Day after day, I find myself Looking away I have to remind myself,
That You're there
And I belong to You

Don't doubt He loves you, He loves me
He loves me
He loves you, He loves you, He loves you, He loves me"

MILLIONAIRE~BY FFH

I may never be the reason
That people come from miles around
Just to hear that beautiful sound
I may never see the season
Where people love to hear me speak
And everybody wants to be me

Dare I go where I can't see
And if I do will You go with me
Maybe it's time that I just learn to believe

That I may never be a millionaire
Funny I don't think I care
May never see the mountain view
I guess I don't need to
I may never drive a fancy car
Or be a movie star
But I'll be, I'll be, the light of the world

I may never hold the answers
To questions of philosophy
Or even understand what that means
And I may never cure the cancer
That seems to run our busy lives
I guess that I'll just join in the fight

Dare I go where I can't see
And if I do will You go with me
Maybe it's time that I just learn to believe

That I may never be a millionaire
Funny I don't think I care
May never see the mountain view
I guess I don't need to
I may never drive a fancy car
Or be a movie star
But I'll be, I'll be, the light of the world

I may never be a hero
Or set my feet on Wall Street
Or give the evening news
But I believe in what God wants me to be

And I may never be a millionaire
Funny I don't think I care
May never see the mountain view
I guess I don't need to
I may never drive a fancy car
Or be a movie star
But I'll be, I'll be...

I may never be a millionaire
Funny I don't think I care
May never see the mountain view
I guess I don't need to
I may never drive a fancy car
Or be a movie star
But I'll be, I'll be
the light of the world, light of the world.

NEED I SAY MORE?

so i guess this is REALLY being urked!

GUIDELINES FOR BEING AN OHIOAN

and it's oh so true!

IT'S TUESDAY...

it's tuesday. (i believe that statement to be true, if you believe it to be false that would mean that you believe that it is not tuesday, and it can't be tuesday and not be tuesday in the same way at the same time, because that violates the law of non-contradiction. so one of us is right and i believe that to be me, but if you believe that you are right about it not being tuesday then.....ahhhh someone help me i have philosophy on the brain!!!!). so like i said: "it's tuesday". which means that i should be in basic guitar right now wowing people with my "mad skillz", but i'm not. like my usual self i some how got myself distracted again and here i sit waisting time that i don't really have, i'm a little daft like that. i just read my previous post and realized that i didn't really explain WHO i am (not that anyone really cares). i am jamie, a 20 year old first semester sophomore who should be a second semester sophomore, but it turns out that God has better plans than me, so i'm just a first semester sophomore. i like orange pop a little too much. but i like grape juice even more (and if you go to church with me, don't be surprised if some sunday you get the communion plate and all of the litte grape juice shots are gone!). i speak the english language, but i don't profess to know it. so don't be surprised if this blog is chalked full of grammatical errors (what does that phrase mean anyway? "chalked full of"...hmm...). i like to use noxzema face wash, the original formula--now who doesn't like that clean refreshing sensation? i am currently a contentedly single young women, eagerly awaiting the divinely orchestrated introduction of my beloved. so that's who i am, or at least that's who i believe that i am. you however could believe that none of the previously stated attributes about me are true, in which case you believe that i am not who i say i am, and i believe that i am who i say i am which means that....ahh never mind i don't really get philosophy anyway!

HI I'M JAMIE

so this is my first post. i feel like it should be something deep, something meaningful, something that shows the vast reaches of my knowledge...but I really don't think that is going to happen! so instead, i'll just tell you a little bit about myself. my name is jamie...I'm a sophomore recreation management/ youth ministries major (tune in tomorrow to see what I will be!), at a small christian college in northeastern endiana. but i'm really from a small farming town in northwest ohio located halfway between toledo and cedar point...america's roller coast!...sorry I couldn't resist :)... so judging by my personality, this blog will mostly contain quirky antics, strange news, and details of my exciting life (you may not have been able to tell but that was definitely sarcasm!). so i'm kind of doing this blog with the few extra minutes that i have in my busy day between classes and nap....i mean studying!