HIYA

i am a ninja.
and bored.
a lethal combination?
yes. for any would be attackers.
i am warning you not to sneak into my apartment.
or you will lose your face.
i will use my ninja warrior skills.
and you will lose an eye.
i will use my taekwondo skills.
and you will lose a nose.
i will use my telepathic skills.
and you will burst into flames.
watch out for me today.
i am lethal.

Treetops

When I was a young girl,
Trying to find her way
Above the tree tops, the tree tops , the tree tops.
When I was a young girl,
Trying to find her way
Above the tree tops, the tree tops, the tree tops.

I did not care, I did not care,
what they called me.

I'll float above the ocean.
The sun above is burning my head,
I will grow wings and fly everywhere.

when I was a young girl,
Trying to find her way
Above the tree tops, the tree tops, the tree tops.

I did not care, I did not care
What they called me.

No, I did not care,
I should not care,
What they called me, what they called me.

I'll float above the ocean
the sun above is burning my head.
i will grow wings and fly, everywhere.

But warm clouds,
Are dripping into my mouth.
Tasting of gold and..

I'll float above the ocean,
The sun above is burning my head
I will grow wings and fly everywhere..

Whatever I Want...

i like to swear. i wish it weren't looked down on so much. is swearing like eating idol meat? cause if it is, then i can say de-f-bomb without feeling bad. but if not, well then i guess i'm just going to hell. carla just swore. and there's a man streaking on my computer screen. and i'm supposed to beat him with a bat. weird. i need to study. three finals tomorrow. it shouldn't be too bad. i should copy those notes now so i can give them back to lisa. sorry i wasted time writing this instead of copying them.

ah! THE END!

home.
i nearly had a panic attack at IGA yesterday. not sure why. there were people every where that i recognized. i hated the feeling. i hated it. i think that maybe this is a sign from God. he's saying "Jamie, Thou shall NOT live in Oak Harbor".
and i'm like "SWEET!".

bored.
i'm home and i'm bored. i'm cleaning. earning 1,500 dollars. well sort of. it's more like i'm cleaning my conscience.

happy.
and even though i'm bored, and cleaning, and wanting to die. i'm somehow at ease. especially here. at dad's house. it's so nice outside. there are birds everywhere. the windows are open. the fields are green. it smells like fresh cut grass. fresh cut grass and spring. mmm. that's the best smell. i think i could stay here forever. but only if it was always green. and always spring. and always this moment.

my blackberry.

Thursday:
Bus. Org. Written Exam
First Aid Practical
Archery Skills Test
Work

Friday:
Archery Lesson Plan Due
Archery Order Form Due
Meet with Maria to take pictures for Golf
Golf Media Project due.
Outdoor Exam
Go Home

Monday:
Volunteer at Nursing Home (5 hours)
Dress fitting in the Wayne
First Aid Papers (3)

Tuesday:
Private and Commercial Exam
Archery Skills Test
Archery Exam
First Aid Exam
Work

Wednesday:
Aging Exam
Volunteer Paper due
Outdoor Exam
Work

Thursday:
Bus. Org. Exam
First Aid Exam
Work

ugh. thrusday please come very fast.

the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe.

chrissy and i had a discussion about facial hair.
here were the results:
I like guys with well manicured beards.
Chrissy only likes certain guys with beards.
I like scruffy faces.
Chrissy only likes certain guys with scruffy faces.
I like it when a guys beard is a different color from their hair. it breaks up the monotony. and makes it funny.
Chrissy likes it when it is all the same color.
We both like well trimmed goatees.
We do not like chin pube, neck beards, moustaches, "cheek" beards. especially not brice from the library's.

cheese curdles don't come out of the cow that way.

i think i might buy a new book.
i need to get a pair of shoes for the wedding.
i'm going to upload some Ella Fitzgerald onto my MP3 player.
then i'm going to take my new book and my music to the sunken gardens.
i might go for a hike in the woods.
i could take pictures of spring plants and stuff.
first i should develop the film from when i did that in february.
yesterday i told aaron that i want to go to maine.
now i really want to go to maine.
anyone up for a road trip in august?
or ireland. i want to go there too.
too bad you can't drive there.
that would be pretty cool though.
i should invent a car that would let me drive across the ocean.
something that is hydroelectric. well maybe not electric. that could be deadly.
i had a camper one time who would spend our rest times inventing things.
she told me all about how she wants to start a colony under the water. people would live in glass houses.
but of course it couldn't really be glass because the pressure would make it shatter.
it would need to be transparent steel.
she had it all figured out.
it was pretty amazing for a 6th grader.
her name was rachel and her family was from africa.
she had some pretty cool stories. way cooler than mine and i'm 21.
that kid is going far.
i'm kind of sad that i won't get to see her this summer.
she was a blast.
i'm sad that i'm not going to get to have Allie as a camper either.
she was truly amazing.
a mini-encore. that's what she was.
one time she said she liked to go down the inflatable slide on her bosom, she meant her bottom.
it was funny.
i'm kind of sad now.
i'm going to miss those michindoh kids.
but i'm sure there are amazing pvm kids too.
that will be fun to meet them.
i'm a little sad that i won't get to spend as much time with them.
but i'm really excited to meet my counselors!
i can't wait for this semester to be over.
and the 18 to come.
and for the counselors to come.
and for the campers to come!
i love it.

helen of troy...or winnepeg?

i watched "The Saddest Music In The World" last night. it was not what i was expecting. i was expecitng moulin rouge, it was young frankenstein. only not as funny. but just as good. i like movies a lot. i'm going to go watch one about a family of midgets "Tiptoes", yes i like legless beer robber barons and midgets. i'm glad there is a market for me.

...and you're in college?

i just spent the morning at Thornhill practicing survival/first aid scenarios. and then i got to facilitate the low ropes course. at 1 i get to go do archery. then i'm spending the rest of the evening playing games with kids. i love the life of a rec major!

Blast from the Past

its strange when you find blogs of friends from high school. and for the most part i use the term "friends" lightly. its weird to read what they are up to, or at the very least what they threw up. i'm glad i decided not to go to BG or UT. i'm glad i left ohio. i'm glad i made new friends. where would i be right now? probably drunk at B-Dubs. i've officially decided that i will not move back to oak harbor. never. i think that part of my life is over. i'm ready to graduate, and move on with my life. i guess a little blast from the past is alright every now and then...but please don't make me live there.

i need...

i'm spacing. i need to concentrate. i need to go to bed. i need to figure out my presentation. i need this semester to be over. i need to go to spain. i need a drink.

Chutes Too Narrow

i see to be slightly obsessed with The Shins. and for good reason. at least that's what i think

as it draws to an end

18 days until the end of the semester

20 days until i go home

24 days until i leave for camp

::::wierd::::

You put the cyn in cynicism

why am i so cynical? why does huntington mass produce this kind of person? do we take cyn 101? no. we take western civ. and bib hit lit. and understanding the christian faith. and philosophy. we learn how to think. they want us to. that's why we're here. not for job training. not to socialize. not for the perfect christian experience in the perfect christian environment. we're here for an education. to learn how to be analytical. i know that's what i want. i want to be able to think things through. to make up my own mind about something. unfortunately we there is a bi-product to this type of enlightenment: cynicism. i see it in myself. i can't sit through a chapel with out condemning it. i can't sit through a church service without picking it apart. i can't be in a room with the "uber christians" without feeling like sludge. is this really what i wanted? hmm. well what's the opposite? i suppose without this type of education i would be naive. i hate rose colored glasses, and i couldn't imagine being forced to wear them my entire life. what kind of life would that be? seeing the good in everything and ignoring the consequences? i'd hate that. there'd be elves dancing and rainbows and butterflies everywhere. i hate butterflies. there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. and elves keep AK 747's in their pointy shoes. But is that what I want? to be bitter and down cast all the time? no. hmph. i guess that the trick is to somehow figure out how to combine the two. to be graciously cynical. i want to be able to see the good and the bad in everything. i guess i just need to be able to have grace and love too. maybe that's what a huntington education is about. to learn how to have grace. to forgive. to see around it. why are they leaving that course out of our education. i don't think i'm getting my bucks worth here. maybe it's a good thing i figured this out before i graduated. now i have one year to try to align my vision. huh. it's tough. i've tried it before and have found myself back where i started. i guess i'll try not to fall of the wagon this time. this is an incoherent entry. i don't know why i'm typing it. i sound like a terrible person. hmm. oh well. you can use your own educated self to make that judgment. i just hope you can show me a little grace. i'll try to do the same for you.

Pygmalion Rules The World

Discuss your thoughts regarding your reading of the article, “Pygmalion in Management.”

“If managers’ expectations are high, productivity is likely to be excellent. IF their expectations are low, productivity is likely to be poor.” I find it interesting that we as humans, the only species on the planet with the capability of reasonable thought, can be so swayed by the expectations of another person. One would think that with the technology and education that we have today, you would be led to think that self fulfilling prophesy and reverse psychology is the thing of the past, but it is not. I realize that this type of “control” is not limited to business, but I think that having a background knowledge in psychology a manager could be much more effective in leading his subordinates.

What is it that makes a manager create such high performance levels? “The answer, in part, seems to be that superior managers have greater confidence than other managers in their own ability to develop the talents of their subordinates”. What managers believe about themselves directly influences how their subordinates see themselves. This taken into consideration, it seems like superior motivation is cyclical. If Mr. X is a superior manager and he portrays self-confidence and knowledge to such and extent that his subordinates begin to replicate him, then they too will learn how to be self-motivators. If the subordinates are put into a position of leadership, then they will lead as they were led and a new group of subordinates will learn how to lead effectively.

I suppose that this is the idea of how learning and leadership should work. If more employees are becoming superior motivators and they are creating more superior employees, then it seems logical that Darwin’s Survival of the Fittest theory should be more than recognizable here (even if it is only noticeable in one company). Assuming that a company would only promote subordinates of a superior caliber, it logically leads that all employees will one day be taught to be superior. Perhaps in some strange way this means that Pygmalion is taking over the world! Or maybe not, but if we know how to train our employees to be superior and thus increasing productivity and quality, then why not? I don’t think that I would mind a Pygmalion run world…except for maybe the mind control and stuff, but that really is a minuet detail.

What if we were to use this tactic sooner in life. What if we taught our grade schoolers using this method? I suppose that it would logically reveal that our drop-out rate would decrease, and college attendance would increase. That would mean that there would be more qualified people entering the workforce, and more qualified people to work in and run companies, therefore making them far more superior. Although, if there were twice as many people competing for the same job, that would potentially mean that there would be twice as many people without work, and twice as many people on unemployment, and our economy would drop exponentially. If that happens inflation would sky rocket, and no one would be able to purchase any of the products or services that the superior graduates produced, and so there would be lay offs and more people would lose their jobs. I guess that means that we don’t want Pygmalion to run the world. WHEW! that was a close call!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
In case you were wondering...i did turn this paper in. MWHAHAHAHAHA!

a rather simple epitaph

just when i think i have it all figured out, another door opens up and i'm left where i started. SAB or no SAB. Not for Profit or no Not for Profit. Both will give me internship possibilities. Both will give me great experience. I already have experience in both. I kind of want to do both. But i don't want to actually do both at the SAME TIME. Hmph. what to do. (sigh). thanks mike, i'm glad you opened my eyes to this. that's not sarcasim either. i really am glad you told me about it!

the apartment. i think it's ours. aug-july. we wouldn't be there for aug of this year and i probably won't be there for most of may-july of next year. but it's so much cheaper. and the freedom. oh how i heart freedom. everything seems to be falling in place. now i just need a loan for next semester. and a bed. oh, and to be approved for off campus housing. that would be good. come on ron coffee! I'm AMAZING...you should approve me!!!

::on a different note::
it's raining outside. i have the window open. it smells amazing. i love spring. and i'm really diggin After Hours by Rilo Kiley. and Young Pilgrims by The Shins. I think if i play that song one more time carla might pull my toe nails out. but i love it. i think i'll take the chance AHHH... Thunder. Spring is here. it's raining. i want to go outside and run in it. roll in it. splash in it. live in it. it makes me think of summer storms. tornado warnings and hail. getting paid for watching tv. i love that we have memories. that we cling to them. that they can bring us joy. i feel melancholy, in a good way. oh i want to be outside. i wish we could always be wet. that would be the best. too bad.


:::::PS:::::
I DID IT! i stood in the rain. i'm wet, and cold, and happy. mmm, i love the rain!

sympathy and laughing gas.

matt showed us how to swallow a toothpick during a meeting.
i laughed.
chrissy mimicked a drunk person while watching tv.
i laughed.
jenny imitated a falling tree on our nature hike.
i laughed, so hard i cried.

i think i need to learn how to be sympathetic. or at least fake it. that might be good, but less funny.

a summary?

i can almost sit down and breath.
just a few more hours.
just a few more days.
just a few more weeks.

then its done.
no more papers.
no more tests.
no more.

and then it starts.
i can't wait.
bring it!

wait for it!...WAIT FOR IT!!

Your neighbor is pruning his tree, his daughter is mowing the lawn. A big bird swoops down dive bombs your tree climbing neighbor. Your neighbor looses his balance and falls to the ground. Meanwhile, his daughter is distracted by a shiny object and does not see her father lying on the ground. She runs over his foot cutting off his pinky toe. You hear a blood curdling scream and run to investigate. What do you do?

AHHHHH!

so much to say...but no time to say it!