whoa man, WHOA-MAN

september is a busy month for birthdays. i had one this week, so did thousands of other people. its strange to realize i'm not alone. this week was busy. i don't want to detail it, it was boring and normal. i have two exams tomorrow. its one in the morning. i haven't studied. that will be interesting.
tomorrow is the party at work. mixed feelings.
three kids asked me my age today. and when i told them, they all asked me if i was married. they were all surprised and slightly horrified when i said no. that made me feel old and alone. i thought only delilah from delilah on the radio could do that. but i guess not. someone once said 'i only listen to delilah when i'm in my car and i want to feel even more lonely than i already do', then he ran around screaming, 'AHHH DELILAH!' that's how i feel. except i sort of want to listen to her. but i mostly don't. and that's good.
i swore a lot today. i thought about counting how many times, but i lost count by 9:00 this morning. i just remembered that i like swearsies. it's getting out of hand again. but then i remembered i like swearsies.
i feel like a plagiarist for saying swearsies. i should stop doing that.
most of the time its more creative to quote someone than to be creative. and you can quote that.
p.s. please disregard that last thought...i don't really know what it means.

LAS

another weekend. nothing exciting. not too exciting. except....
i booked tickets to vegas. i'm excited. i get to see cory. and hang out with lisa and mary. i'm going to get drunk and loose my tuition money. so drunk that it could in fact be considered plastered. plastered to the extent that i forget where i parked the car. and so i end up walking around vegas plastered and broke and lost. and then i'll die a horrific death. either at the hands of some crazy homeless person sleeping on the sidewalk, angry that i just laid down to sleep where he pees. or by falling into an open man hole where i'm trapped and live in squalor for four days until i die and back up the entire Las Vegas Sewage system. either way it will make the papers, and the writers of CSI will think it's the most amazing thing that they have ever heard, and they will write a screen play about it. Either CSI or Law and Order. Probably Law and Order. Everyone knows they get their ideas from the news papers anyway. or maybe not. maybe i'll remember that i'm a student of Huntington University. and i signed some stupid paper like four years ago saying that i wouldn't do anything like that. yeah, that's probably what will happen.


P.S. Last night i had a dream. i remember my dream. this was my dream. i dreamt that i had a zit. a giant zit. and i popped my giant zit. and instead of the normal pussy discharge. it was a strawberry. a very large strawberry. and it hurt. the end.

are ya happy now?

i have a baby shower to go to this weekend. its strange. its strange because it is for carla sue. and that's strange because we went to college together, and that's strange to say because it is past tense. i never thought i'd reach the point where i refer to my college career in past tense. but here it is. the other day in biz com i was talking to chris about the clocks in the perc. i said "every year the schools says that they have synchronized the clocks, and every year they forget the perc." And chris says "are you a senior? yah? i thought so, you said every year. and i didn't think you'd use that phrase if it had only been the past two years". now people can tell that i'm old because of the tenses i use. ugh. and now she's married and about to have a baby. and i think that makes me almost old. emily...you're not allowed to have a baby yet...that would make us truly old. and that's not right! understood? good.

work has been crazy lately. (another thing an old person says) so many crazy things happening. it truly breaks my heart. week 9's clubhouse kids at camp, had me missing every single one of the kids at the club. that week was so crazy. those kids live lives that i would have a hard time stomaching. then i come back to the club this year, and learn more about these kids then i've ever known. and it breaks my heart. no one should have to deal with the things that some of these 6 year olds do. its not fair. i don't even know what to think about some of the things. i just know that they need to be loved. and affirmed. and guided, and whether they think so or not, disciplined. week 9 prepared me for this, and i thank God for that.

week 1 prepared me for jeff and deshi leaving. at the end of september, beginning of october. but i know what to expect. i've worked it before. more responsibility, more hours, more stress. but its how it has to be, and so i wouldn't want it any other way. i've done it before, and i can do it again.

its amazing how God can use an experience like camp in so many different ways. as an internship, as a ministry, as a character builder, and as prep work for what's to come. i love it.

carla i hope that you are appreciating this. this is longer than anything i've typed in a while. although i am still a fan of the two line entry.

i guess i'm sort of using this post as a catch up post. i hate posts like that. but at least its not bulleted.

89X and John Mayer

it was just that sort of morning. 89X and John Mayer during the talking. i always forget how much i love that station until i come home. fort wayne radio stations suck. i have been slightly spoiled by a few good stations in the toledo area. i wish they would broadcast over the internet. i'd pay for that.

STOP DOING THAT STUPID BLOG!

my blog is making me angry. i need to figure out how to fix it. i don't know how and i don't like it.

A heartbreaking work of staggering genius (yes i did pinch that title from dave eggers)

i just spent an hour and a half debriefing my internship at camp. a bit of a trip down memory lane. i have to go to camp admin in a little while, today is making me miss camp. because i was in such a reminiscent mood, i decided to IM two people from camp. they both signed off just as i was about to send the message. it was really a very sad thing. now i'm stuck with my memories and no one to share them with.

i'm starting to get a strange yearning in chest. a yearning to read. to read the books that are on my desk. they stare at me day after day, and i need to read them. i must read them. i fear that if i don't my heart will burst out of my ribs and leap onto my bookshelf. fear not dear heart, one day your passion will be met. one day i will have time to read. and you will grow, and learn, and you will be satisfied; even if only for a moment.

i said sludge today and jamie told me i use unusual words. hmm.

this is my life, school and work. throw in free cable and homework, and you've got the whole shebang. that's all