waterlogged

i read a post today on another website that made me think:

Throughout the past three years I have often felt like an island, isolated in my little world, focused on the tasks set before me and disconnected from much of my past. It can get very difficult sometimes, having no frame of reference except for the bobbing sea around me.

Today I had several opportunities to reconnect with this past, to swim back to the mainland. I feel so much smaller, and I'm so very thankful. It's good to be a factor in the equation, a step in the process, a part of the whole. It's nice to connect, to look into familiar eyes and remember the fondness I have in my heart for certain things, people, and places.

Ideally, I'd like to be a peninsula ... shooting outward yet connected, but for now I'm afraid that I just can't have that luxury. I must serve where I am and cherish what God has given me. It kind of makes me sad, but I know that this is a big ocean in need of as much dry and stable land as possible. I'm gonna stay where I am, struggling to grow palm trees that produce fruit for generations to come.

i feel the same way.....almost. over the last few weeks i've realized that i'm in a transitional stage. i haven't found my island yet, but i'm no longer on shore. i think i'm in a boat somewhere without a compass. i can still see my shore but from only from a distance......and everything is distorted and changing, it's no longer my home. but i can't yet see my island......so i'm stranded. but i think it's an ok thing though. i feel like i'm slowly starting to drift from home for a reason. i don't think i'm supposed to stay on my main land anymore, and i think God is really trying to prepare me for the day that i find my island, and begin to make a new main land. he's preparing me for the change now, and although it's scary to leave it all behind.......i'm excited, and becoming prepared!

a community news bulletin!

please excuse the ketchup and mustard look to my page......i'm getting there

indecision...the elixir of life

i just re-worked the format of this blog....but i'm not too sure of it yet. i think i like the red (definitely my favorite color)....but i'm not too sure of anything else. it feels likes its missing something...like it's not quite done yet. i wish i could think of what too do. hmmm......i'm not sure. let me know if you have any ideas, that would be super fantastic. thanks dudes!

chicken-bumps!

i wanted to type about something else....but i just had a very important thought cross my mind. it all originated with a statement that i just made: "I have goose-bumps". why are the called goose-bumps? i understand the reasoning. for those of you who don't know what in this crazy world i'm talking about, allow me to explain. when you pull the feathers off of a bird, such as a chicken or i suppose goose, it leaves little bumps birds skin; quite similar to that of what we call "goose-bumps". now this is the part that i don't understand......why do they call them goose-bumps? it's more common today to eat chicken not goose, so shouldn't we call them chicken bumps? i'm not saying that no one eats goose, because i myself have had it before, but i've had chicken for more often. i think we should also call them "chicken-bumps" because, we call some one who is a wuss a chicken, and in some way i'm sure that being cold is a way of showing that you are weak.....so there is just a much better mental picture that is created when you call them chicken-bumps.......yeah so that's my story, just thought that you would all be interested in knowing what i'm thinking that's all!

30% off sale!

can i just share with you the fact that i feel like a real college student now! and why is that? because i went to classes at a college?....no......because i live in a dorm with lots of other loud college students......no.....because i have been frightened awake on many occasions by said college students?.....no.....because i finally own a Huntington College sweat shirt and a Huntington College Car window Cling?......no, wait i mean YES!!! i after nearly two years here at HC i have bought my first HC hooded sweat shirt!

and the prodigal son returns......i mean daughter

i'm home! well, ok maybe not home, but i am back to my good ole' blog site! i guess i just experienced the "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" syndrome. only to discover that in fact my grass may not be greener, but i like it better! so in other words, i'm back and here to stay! as you can see things are a little different however. i decided to give my blog a much need face lift and give it the attention that it so justly deserves! in the process of updating it's look (which by the way i'm not quite finished with) i seem to have lost all of my comments and my links so if there is anything you would like to say, or a link that i just HAVE To have on my site......let me know!

IMPORTANT!

i have decided to potentially nix this blog and use a new Xangaaccount that i have recently started. you should notice that i said " potentially nix this blog", that means that i'm going to be using my xanga account for the next week or so. i just want to see if i like the way that the program runs.....don't worry i wil still be sharing the vast reaches of my knowledge. hope to see you there!

What I Thought I Wanted~ Sara Groves

Tuxedo in the closet, gold band in a box
Two days from the altar she went and called the whole thing off
What he thought he wanted, what he got instead
Leaves him broken and grateful

I passed understanding a long, long time ago
And the simple home of systems and answers we all know
What I thought I wanted, what I got instead
Leaves me broken and somehow peaceful

I keep wanting you to be fair
But that’s not what you said
I want certain answers to these prayers
But that’s not what you said

When I get to heaven I’m gonna go find Job
I want to ask a few hard questions, I want to know what he knows
About what it is he wanted and what he got instead
How to be broken and faithful

What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted

Staring in the water like Esops foolish dog
I can’t help but reflect on what it was I almost lost
What it was I wanted, what I got instead
Leaves me broken and grateful

I’m broken and grateful
I want to be broken and grateful
I want to be broken, peaceful, faithful, grateful, grateful
I want to be broken, peaceful, faithful, grateful, grateful

this CAN'T be happening!

i think i'm sick! and that is a REALLY bad thing with only 3 weeks of school left. that means all of my projects and papers and exams are coming up.....many of them this week and next! oh, this is bad. please pray that the healer of healers will heal me! ohhhhh.....bad!

trix are for kids!

yeah, yeah, yeah i realize that i have suddnely begun some sort of blogging kick....but that's ok because i realize how many people there are out there who read what i have to say.....and i just can't let all two of you down! i just wanted to share with you the thing that puts me in an amazing mood everytime i watch it!....have fun! (on a side note....it works better the second time through)

it's all winding down......like a top!

so it is an absolutely amazing day outside!!!!! and even though i have had my moments of frustration and utter confusion today.....i'm in a good mood. probably a much better mood than i should be in considering all of the crap i have to do this week.....two exams, 3 more magazine article summaries, a 267 page book on the life of Paul that i have yet to finish, and basically start! not to mention the 9 page paper that i have type when i DO finish it! yikes! just thinking of this makes me a little queasy! but fear not....i'll get it done if it takes a week of all nighters to do it......I'm so excited that there are lonely 3 and a half weeks of classes left. you know what comes after that????? MICHINDOH MAY-TERM!!!!! and then?????? MICHINDOH SUMMER FUN!!!!! oooh this weather so puts me in the mood to be there right now! i'm really excited that i'm excited that i get to go.....just pray that i can work maintenence afterwards! ahh gotta buzz i'm going to go to walmart with carla to waste some more of my time! see ya

million dollar dreams

ok so i have decided that when i become a millionaire (yeah i realize that i'm going to be working in christian camping.....but please, humor me!), any way when i become a millionaire and build my multi-million dollar home, i am going to have a 25 meter 4 lane in ground pool installed! YaY for swimming!!!!!!!....and since i'll probably end up working in the UP or someplace crazy that only has summer for three months a year, i'll have an endless pool installed in my workout room in the basement; right between my 20'x20' craft room and my elevator!!!!! YaY for millionaire camp directors!!!!!

A Jamie to English Dictionary

daft-(v.) momentary laps of common sense
irk-(v.)annoyance, pet peeve, bothersome, un-nerving
skanky-(adj) dirty, greasy, altogether unclean
skeezy-(adj) see, skanky
unbe-frekin-leivable-(adj) something that is more than unbelievable

that's right folks you heard it from me first!

today my roommate said, and i quote "awww that's skeezy!", followed shortly by, "aww suck, i hate you jamie!". For those who need explaining to this amazing quote....allow me! you see i have a habit of using rather random words and phrases. for example--unbe-frekin-levable, or--"Holy Hitler!", and skeezy!--Lisa however, is not partial to these rather odd phrases that quite frequently fly out of my mouth.....and that's why it is amazing that she said "skeezy" and as previously mentioned--"suck a duck!".

Crash Test

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"Prayer is talking to God about people, and evangelism is talking to people about God. We cannot do one without the other."--Nick Pollard~Evangelism Made Slightly Less Difficult

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?:
Nothing.....there is nothing there.....but if i streched far enough and fell off of my chair i would probably touch the ground!

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?:
Ummm....yeah....Blues Clues!

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
12:09
5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?:
12:06

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?:
A Michael W. Smith CD playing.....the air conditioner in my room....my computer whizzing.....the "big box" outside of the window

7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?:
hmmm....maybe around 8ish....we went to Walmart to buy 6 manila envelopes when Kari only needed one....then to Owens to get a frozen pizza and cookie dough and other stuff.

8: before you came to this website, what did you look at?:
brett's live journal!

9:What are you wearing?:
Jeans shorts, a pink t-shirt that says Wernert Wildcats even though i don't know where that is, a grey Ohio State Hoodie, and black flip-flops (of course!!!)

10: Did you dream last night? What about?:
I did dream because everyone dreams.....but i don't remember what i dreamed about

11: When did you last laugh?
just now when Lisa said to Kari (Who is 6'4'') "You're really tall when you stand on the chair". I said "You're really tall when you stand on the ground." Kari said, "You know what else is really tall? My middle finger....". Lisa said, "That's because you're really tall!", oh well it was funny to me.....you just have to know Kari I guess!

12: what is on the walls of the room you are in?:
Standard white dorm room paint.....some of my roommates posters--Michael W. Smith, I love lucy......pictures, gooey stuff, pins....yeah

13: Seen anything weird lately?:
Ummm... nothing really weird that i can think of.....i'm sure that i probably have but i can't think of anything.....OHOHOH i just came up with one....now this isn't weird but i find it highly amusing-- yeah baby!

14: What do you think of this quiz?:
hmmmm....well you see this one time i answered a bunch of pointless questions for a quizz and all that happened was i ended up wastin ten minutes of my night and getting to bed even later.....but i'm sure that won't happen this time.....oh wait! it already has!

15: What is the last film you saw?:
well technically it was Cinderella II, but i HATE that movie so i didn't watch all of it, so i guess i would have to say Mickey Blue Eyes

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?:
67 million boxes of freezey pops!!!!!

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know:
hmmm....this one time at band camp...oh wait, no!....hmmm....you may or may not know this, and please don't hate me but....I'm addicted to...... freezey pops!

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?:
I think that i would make Indiana participate in Day Light Savings time just like everyone else! i really don't understand why they don't.....i suppose it's just so i can get in debats with all of my hoosier friends about how stupid it is that they don't change their time....and they can tell me how stupid it is that we do! GRRRR!

19: Do you like to dance?:
Nope.....i'm no good....i don't find it entertaining.....and i don't do it! wait a minute! i think this answer covers a lot of things!

20: George Bush:
Nope.....i'm no good....i don't find it entertaining.....and i don't do it!......oh wait, maybe this doesn't quite answer that question...oh well....maybe if it said Bill Clinton.....

21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?:
Ellieitt-so i can call her Ellie, but not Ellie because it is no fun having a name that you can't shorten.........or maybe Keavey, that name has been growing on me lately.....i think it's just plain fun!

21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?:
Jack......although i have been told that everyone has an uncle named Jack....but i don't so i'm going to name him Jack!

22: Would you ever consider living abroad?:
Sweet yo!......when can i go?

23: Will you pass on this survey?:
hmmmm.....is this one of those stupid surveys that says at the bottom that you should not fill it out? do you honestly want to know if I'm not going to fill it out.....because i'm pretty sure that i already have.....or are you asking me if i'm going to pass it on to someone else? because that answer is totally no!

awwww that's my roommate!

here's my new favorite roommate quote........ready???......"suck a duck!".

The End by Matthew West

Well it was raining when I woke up this morning
So, to escape it I went back to bed
But then the rain started leaking through the ceiling
And pretty soon it was pouring on my head
Sometimes it follows you home
Like an old stay dog, it won't leave you alone

[Chorus]
It's not the end
The end of the world
It's just another day depending on grace
It's not the end
The end of the world
It's just another day, don't sleep it all away

So I jumped into my car and hit the freeway
Found a sunny spot so I could work on my tan
But just as soon as I stepped one foot in the ocean
From out of nowhere it came pouring down again
Sometimes it rains all over your parade
It's like you're reaching for the sun,
and you're landing in the shade

[Chorus]
It's not the end
The end of the world
It's just another day depending on grace
It's not the end
The end of the world
It's just another day, don't sleep it all away

[Bridge]
Well, the moral of the story is
Sometimes life takes so much more than it gives
But the one who makes the air I breathe
Is the one who'll fix the ceiling when it starts to leak
It may look like the end but it's only the beginning

[Chorus]
It's not the end of the world
It's just another day depending on grace
It's not the end
The end of the world
It's just another day,
don't sleep it all away

Cause It's not the end
It's not the end of the world
It's just another day
It's not the end
It's not the end of the world,
No, it's not the end
It's not the end
Still not the end
It's not the end
I bet you're wondering when this song's gonna end
But it's not the end
Cause I'm singing this song
and I get to decide when it's the end
And it's not the end
Well it's almost the end
I guess you could say it's nearing the end
But it's not the end
It's not the end
It's not the end
It's almost the end
Ok I think it's the end

humph...

it's late.....12:42 (don't believe the clock on this site.....it's not very good!).....and i have wasted another day.....i feel like i have wasted another week.....another month......another year.....how much more of this must i put up with. sometimes i just wish i were done with all of this (don't freak that isn't some kind of cry for help)....i mean school stuff. i wish i had finished my classes, that i had a degree, that i had a job, that i were at a camp working...serving....loving...and enjoying my time. i wish i had a family, someone who could be with me....someone who chose to be here despite me. don't get me wrong i'm totally enjoying my singleness, trying to secure my identity in the Lord so that i will not attempt to secure it in a relationship or another individual when that time comes. but i just wish that it could be over. that i have already learned what i should....that i could skip over all of this drudgery and arrive at my life! not that i'm not already living my life--because i am, i just want......i just want.......humph i don't know. i guess i really just want some reassurance that i'm not wasting my day....my week.....my month....my year.....my life. whatever happened to the writing on the wall. maybe it's still there but we've just forgotten how to see it. maybe God is reaching out for me, reassuring me in every step i take, but i'm too oblivious to see it. maybe......well.....i just want.....i.......i just wish.....i weren't alone.

Technical Difficulties

I just want to say that i am really sorry about not updating this thing sooner........oh wait i did update it yesterday but the stinking blogger didn't register it!........GRRRRRRRR.........i have been saying that alot lately or at least feeling that alot lately and i don't so much enjoy that.....oh you know what i mean the whole embittered college student thing. not my thing......or maybe it is but i don't want it to be......so once again i apologize to all of you who have not only had to put up with my erratic blog, but also my erratic personality!

that's right

here's a something i said recently:
"I'm a recluse.......a recluse and PROUD OF IT!"

awww yay

awww YaY for new cars, new friends, and new memories!
Double Yay for old cars, old friends, and even older memories!

it's been a while

so i've recently realized that i'm not really very good at updating this thing. not that it really matters anyway. i guess it was just something that i started up to take up some more of the time that i shouldn't really be wasting......hmmm, i just used really a lot in that sentence. i really think i need to stop using really so much! ha!...........so it's late, not rrrea....i mean....not really! it's only like 12:30 but i am just so exhausted. tomorrow is going to be a really long day....somehow i've let my homework pile up and if i don't get on the ball i'm going to sink into the great abyss of missed assingments!....well maybe not really, but i probably won't do so well in philosophy not to imply that i was doing well to begin with......i haven't really decided why i am wasting my time typing this, it's not like anyone is going to read it, and even if by some stretch of the imagination someone stumbles across my little blog in the vast stretches of the internet....it's not like i'm going to have anything intellectual to say anyway.......i think that some times it is just more fun to be a pessimist. hmmmm.....i think i'm going to go to bed. i'm going to try really hard to wake up tomorrow morning and go to chapel.....but i think that it's going to be hard. sometimes being on a christian campus seems like christianity becomes more about fulfilling a quota then a personal and meaningful relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ...which is why it's hard for me to go and listen to something that God isn't call....just so i can get yelled at and to some extent condemned, all for a stinking chapel credit.....but like i said sometimes it is just more fun to be a pessimist!