oh goodness

i discovered this post in my myspace blog. i don't remember blogging on my space. and i do not remember writing this. but i did, an di tmade me laugh, so i decided to repost it......


Oak Harbor

I'm sitting at home wating for things to happen. It is incredibly boring. I think i need to find something interesting to do for the rest of the week. Maybe I'll go exploring through the swamp lands of northwest ohio. and while i'm out on my adventure i'll find an old shack that's falling down and i'll ignore my conscience and plunge in head first. and while i'm plunging head first i'll crack my skull on something and loose consciousness. and when i come too i'll discover that a turtle-racoon hybrid has nursed me back to health. the turtle-racoon hybrid, whose name is Mr. Hollinsworth, will tell me how his parents used to vacation in the swamp lands in good old oak harbor, and one day while they were doing their dirty cross species deed, a strange looking man dressed in all yellow dumped of a barrel marked, "Hazardous Nuclear Waste Do Not Do The Dirty Cross Species Deed Within 30 Yards Of This Barrel Or You Will Create An Ungodly Spawn That Will Be Neither Turtle Nor Racoon, (That Is Of Course If You Are Turtle Or Racoon), We Mean It, DO NOT DO THE DIRTY CROSS SPECIES DEED!" unfortunatley his parents could not read and they did the dirty cross species deed, and 3 months later out came Mr. Hollinsworth. Mr Hollinsworth would of course personify a human even though the genes do not course through his blood, but it was humans who created the nuclear waste, and therefor created him, and so he would personify all things good. with and incredibly refined taste in art and music and books. And Mr. Hollinsworth would treat my near fatal head wound and spend the next three years nursing me back to health and teaching me to eat, and to speak, and to love all things art and all things art related. and then i would emerge from the Black Swamp, and people would look at me and say "Who is that person? She looks like Jamie, but she vanished three years ago! Could this be her? Did she pull a Fiona Apple? Did she disappear only to remerge stronger and better than ever? Or is she a Jewel? Did she come back to be a sell out and a horrifying girly girl? Oh no! Our puny minds that have not been raised by a turtle-racoon hybrid that was created by it's parents doing the dirty cross speicies deed within 30 yards of a barrel of nuclear waste, can not comprehend this! We will go drown ourselves in the Lake!" AND THEN I WILL RULE THE WORLD!

The moral of the story? why sit at home and be bored, when i can rule the world!