maybe positive reinforcement really is just a pipe dream

i thought this was gone.
i thought it was done.
wasn't twice enough?
no, because now it's back.
in full force to bite us in the ass.
and more people are hurting.
and more people are broken.
but it seems to be a game.
something to cure the boredom.
to get some attention.
but it's not a game.
it's a life.
and not only yours.
it's mine,
and theirs.
and we only get one.
do you know that?
only one.
that's it
no redo.
so don't fuck it up.
don't treat it like it doesn't matter.
realize that it does.
that you are loved.
and you don't have to pull this shit.
not to see it.
it's there.
i've cried enough.
i don't know how to handle it anymore.
i don't have to be doing this.
but i do.
in some sick way i'm prepared.
i've done this before.
and if history is anything,
i'll do it again.
because that's what we do right?
we save you.
we always have.
and always will.
that's what love is.
it's not a boomerang.
it's not meant to come back.
but it's mend to heal the wounds.
the wounds it caused.
but will it?
i don't' know.
i don't think i know anything anymore.
i know i don't want to see you throw it away
so much potential
you should bask in it.
relish it.
it's there.
for you.
and you alone.
see it.
open your eyes.
embrace it.
love it.
want it.
find a passion.
for something.
something good.
somethings steeped in possibility.
there's a world of it you know?

i feel like i've had enough.
i don't know how much more of this i can take.
i don't think i've even had much of it.
perhaps it is a good sign that it is time to move on.
to another place.
with other people.
other people who need love.
people who don't see their potential.
people who want to play a game.
people who want to fuck with your mind.
is that all we are?
all we do?
what kind of a world is that?
why do we have to live in a world where we can't see?
where we choose not to see?
where we'd rather live in our own squalor than in riches
in riches that are available.
right in front of us.
why do we stay in the cave and watch the shadows?
why are we so afraid to see reality.
its so much better
not always good
sometimes it's bad
most of the time its bad.
but fuck, it's real
and that's got to be worth something.

let the scales fall from our eyes.