shhhhhh...

why are people afraid of silence? in essence it is everywhere. behind all of the craziness of life is pure stillness. pure silence. it is the root of life. so why is it something we fear? i think that there are two kinds of silence. solitary silence, and the silence of plurality. both difficult to master, and each for it's own reasons. silence in plurality seems to be taboo in our culture. as though you are breaking a cultural norm by sitting in a room with someone and not participating in an asinine conversation. why must we do it? can't we just bask in the silence of friendship? do two people have to carry on a conversation to make a friendship work? it seems to me that once you reach a level of comfort with a person, then just being near them should be enough. although this can be a bit difficult to master, especially if one can not master solitary silence. this is perhaps the worst of all the silences. this is removing all outside stimuli and forcing oneself to be alone with their thoughts. i suppose in remote reaches of the world where technology has not yet bridged the silence gap, this is easier to attain, and is thrown into your face more forcefully. but in the land of stereo's, iPOD's, cell phones; we have all but eliminated solitary silence. now one must seek it out; must be intentional about spending time with one's own thoughts. maybe that is part of the reason why the island state of vanuatu is currently ranked as the happiest country in the world. maybe they have learned to enjoy the stillness and silence of companionship. when will the rest of the world?

back from the dead

Tomorrow (july 21) will the be two month mark since the last time that i updated my blog. It is also the beginning of my third month here at Pleasant Vineyard. And what a summer it has been. Things are a little different than I thought that they would be when I came this summer. However, a good different, an exciting different. I accepted a position as program director here at good ole PVM, which means that I have a full time job. I'm really excited about what this next year will bring. A new place to live, new people to be around, and I have the sole responsibility to make the programs at this camp work. Maybe not the sole responsibility, but none the less. It's a little daunting, and I'll admit it, i'm scared out of my shorts. Feelings of doubt and insecurity are lingering just below the surface. I have big shoes to fill and an even bigger tradition to uphold. It's scary to think that I'm going to be part of a place that has made a difference in so many lives. It's intimidating to think about all of the successful programs that they have run. And as scary as all of this may seem

Tomorrow (august 14) will be just 6 days shy of a month from when i started this post. camp is officially over and we have moved on to guest group season. the time where my job consists of staffing and zip line and tower and cleaning and apparently counter strike. however it is still just week one of my new job and so i'm sure that i'll figure out what i'm actually supposed to be doing soon. or maybe not. the way things seem to work, i probably won't discover what i should be doing until two weeks before i move on.

i wish i had something exciting to post about. unfortunately i'm so removed from the world that i can't comment on any current events, because the events that i know aren't so current anymore. I've been watching the same five movies all summer so i don't feel like i critique a movie, with the lady in the water being the exception. but i just don't feel like doing so. nothing to complain about, or contemplate. no one new or any recent arguments. i'm listening to Mates of State right now. if you don't know who they are you should. except then they would become popular and lots of people would listen to them and i would no longer like them. like napoleon dynamite. or maybe i didn't like that movie because it sucked. none the less.

i'm really just typing this because i'm bored and i'm waiting for my laundry to dry. it's actually kind of late and i want to go to bed. i also want to get chinese carry out tomorrow, just so i can use my new chop sticks and set them on my new chop stick rests (39 cents at Jungle Jim's).

i'll be making a trip to indy on wednesday, and perhaps that will include a stop a shapiro's which, according to USA today, is one of the 10 best jewish deli's in the nation. if i eat there on wednesday i will have eaten at TWO of the best jewish deli's in the nation. the other being Zingerman's delicatessen in Ann Arbor, MI. and there is another on the list that is just outside of cleveland, and since my brother lives in cleveland, odd's of me eating there seem to be very high. and since i'll have eaten at 1/3 of the best jewish deli's in the nation, i think it only fair for me to make it a life goal to eat at all 10. that means that i'll need to take a trip to LA, NY, Baltimore, Portland, and Beverly Hills. i've been yearning for an adventure and perhaps this will suffice. i could back pack from New York to California and eat a only jewish deli's along the way. then i could critique each delicatessen and write a book entitled "Backpacking to Deli Paradise" which will document my experience from coast to coast and present an unbiased, real person point of view on jewish deli's as seen from a german/irish descendent of anglo saxon alcoholics. it would of course become a best seller which would instantly push me to fame and fortune. unfortunately as i've already stated, i do not like popular and famous people, and so i would not like myself. this would mean i would live a life of depression and self hatred which could only be remedied through suicide or by publishing the much anticipated sequel "Hitchhiking to Hell". my much debated highly critisized memoir documenting my escapade to Hell, MI. where along the way i meet individuals whom i share my highly educated opinions on politics, pornography, and pogo sticks. all topics in "Hitchhiking to Hell" will start with the letter "P", and i will confess to be the dread pirate Roberts. people will think i'm insane and if all goes according to plan, i will fall from public eye as someone that no one wants to associate with. However as we've seen with most, (physically or otherwise) challenged celebs, such as ray charles, stephen hawking and brittany spears, the vast populace of the world will rejoice in my amazing prowess despite my obvious mental challenges. which would throw me into an even greater realm of popularity, and i would hate myself even more. so perhaps it wouldn't be wise if i wrote a book. maybe if i just traveled, ate, and was marry.

banter. that is a funny word.
healthy banter.
cynical banter.
good banter.
banter.
hmm.